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Life skills everyone should have before leaving home... - Page 6

post #101 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I'm a hoarder/packrat. So were both my parents. Both those parents grew up in neat, tidy homes where order and decluttering were very high priority. My sister isn't a hoarder/packrat at all. (I don't even know about my brother, because his wife is and if he isn't, there's no way to know!) Teaching this stuff is only possible to a degree, because hoarding/packratting is partly (largely?) emotional.
Yes, hoarding is an emotional/psychological issue. But living with someone who hoards doesn't provide a model of effective organizational skills. It is hard to know how much is really enough -- much less how to clean and organize it -- when that isn't modeled.
post #102 of 183
Budgeting/financial skills are one of the most important I can think of.
post #103 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingJoy View Post
Yes, hoarding is an emotional/psychological issue. But living with someone who hoards doesn't provide a model of effective organizational skills. It is hard to know how much is really enough -- much less how to clean and organize it -- when that isn't modeled.
I'm not sure I agree with that. My mom looked after her stuff, and organized it reasonably well - there was just way too much of it. I used to clean and organize my stuff really well (that whole issue of toxic relationships comes into why/when I lost that). I just have a lot of trouble letting go of things, because they become easily imbued with emotional meaning to me. DS1 is similar, and I don't think it's just upbringing - he once wanted to keep the straw from a juice box to "remind [me] forever of this day". He drank it while we were on a hike...
post #104 of 183
I think I'm going to try this again.....


Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
DH and I were talking about this the other day. We were reminiscing about how appalled we were that so many kids couldn't do laundry when we were in college. I also know a girl that ruined Easy Mac (she put the noodles in the bowl, put the sauce packet on top still sealed, and put the whole thing in the microwave for 5mins) We were discussing the basic things we want to teach our children before they leave home.

Our list included:

- Laundry How to sort and complete laundry according to each type of clothing.

- Ironing (I can't do this. My mother was obsessive about ironing everything)

- Cooking How to follow a recipe. I also think it would benefit to be able to make a few, simple, things from scratch. (Scrambled eggs were the first thing I learned to make)

- Sewing Basic button sewing and how to quick fix something in a pinch

-Cleaning How to wash dishes WITHOUT a dishwasher. Basic cleaning like vacuuming, mopping, etc...


I know I'm forgetting a few...


What do you think?
Bolding mine.

I'm not going to tell other people what they should or shouldn't teach their children before they leave home.

In addition to lots of very good suggestions in this thread about maintaining a home and personal transportation, managing finances and other aspects of life, here's a list of things that are basics for us:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post
Lots of great suggestions already posted. I'm adding to the list:

Basic first aid and safety procedures (ready your home with working flashlights, fire extinguishers, carbon monoxide and smoke detectors.

Swimming, skating and bicycling

Booking airline tickets, going through customs and immigration, checking into a hotel, packing for travel

Street safety (paying attention to surroundings, walking with confidence, how to hold your purse, learn a few self-defense moves)

How to skip a stone and juggle



And a few finer details, which may or may not apply depending on lifestyle:

How to use chopsticks

How to manage different foods - open a pomegranate, dice a mango, crack/peel shellfish (crab, lobster, prawns), uncork wine

Use an axe or hatchet, cut firewood, build a fire

Strip paint, prep for new paint, fix holes in drywall, and painting walls and crown molding

Hang pictures or artwork or shelves
Some of the above items are concrete examples of abstract attitudes I want them to carry in life, as opposed to "skills".

I think it's basic - an essential - for a full satisfying life to have a sense of fun and adventure. Hence, skipping stones and juggling and swimming and skating and cycling. Other people should feel free to substitute whatever fun, nonsense "skills" represent an ability to pursue something just for the enjoyment - yoyo, hula hoop, tree climbing, kite flying..... If there's nothing like this in my children's repertoire, yes, I'll question whether I've succeeded as a parent. In short, know how to have fun. It's way more important than making sure your whites stay white. That's something you can figure out in 10 minutes by reading the labels on the detergent bottle and the washing machine.

It's basic that we are global citizens. My dc should be prepared to travel, to enter into different social situations and cultures, to eat different foods (even though they can find McDonald's just about everywhere ).

Other "basics":

-An open mind, not an empty one.

-Critical analytical skills.

-Negotiating interpersonal relationships.

I'm sure there's more I could list, but I'll finish with:

-A sense of humour (sadly lacking all too often in too many people).
post #105 of 183
Fair enough. I missed that the OP said skills they wanted to teach their kids. I thought this thread was about basic functioning. In any case, I've discovered reading this thread that I'm not a functioning human being. I'm kind of shocked...but not really...

I don't think you can actually teach a sense of humour, btw. I think it tends to be an inherent part of a person's temperament. DH and ds1 both have a strong sense of the absurd - I tend toward the dark, sarcastic side of things ("black sense of humour" is something I've heard a lot) - and dd1, to date, has no sense of humour that I can see at all.
post #106 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Fair enough. I missed that the OP said skills they wanted to teach their kids. I thought this thread was about basic functioning. In any case, I've discovered reading this thread that I'm not a functioning human being. I'm kind of shocked...but not really...
don't worry.. I don't think I am a functioning human being either.
post #107 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I don't think you can actually teach a sense of humour, btw. I think it tends to be an inherent part of a person's temperament.
I suppose that's another one of those differences between individuals/families.

For us, "teach" is read as "facilitate", "nurture", "promote", "encourage", "engage" as opposed to a strict definition of "instruct". I think it's possible to facilitate and nurture a sense of humour.
post #108 of 183
What a great thread!!!! This has been the most useful thread I have seen on MDC in a while. Thank you OP for bringing this topic up for discussion!

My parents absolutely sucked at preparing me and my brother for adulthood. Thankfully, I married when I was 17 and was able to figure out most things for myself. Somethings, like money management, I had to learn the hard way. My brother on the other hand, has obviously not learned any skills at all. He is 28 years old, has been unemployed for 2 years, mooches off my mother for everything, trashes my mother's house and is just basically a bum. (I admit I am a little bitter )

All of you have some wonderful ideas. I am taking notes.
post #109 of 183
Most of the lifeskills on our list are already stated.

I would like to add (& in some ways it has already been touched on) how to navigate & deal with red tape/bureaucracy effectively. Whether it is applying for a passport or dealing with a legal issue or getting your phone bill corrected or.... It's important to know how to stay calm & persistent even when things are getting ridiculous & frustrating.

Driving was mentioned but I would up it to knowing how to drive a standard vehicle. Honestly, I totally get that for some people for their day to day life they just don't need a car, but having the basic skill of how to operate a vehicle is so important. I've too often seen people stuck because they didn't have this skill (& have been there myself before I learned myself). Plus this skill translates over to many other pieces of machinery.

Swimming - I'm passionate about this. Most people who drown NEVER intended to enter the water that day. It is absolutely essential to have a basic level of swimming. Don't like to swim fine you're not going to become a waterbaby but knowing how could literally save your life.

Being able to follow directions from a book has been SO valuable to me.
post #110 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
Most of the lifeskills on our list are already stated.

I would like to add (& in some ways it has already been touched on) how to navigate & deal with red tape/bureaucracy effectively. Whether it is applying for a passport or dealing with a legal issue or getting your phone bill corrected or.... It's important to know how to stay calm & persistent even when things are getting ridiculous & frustrating.
Now see.. I often get my best results when I get really mad and start screaming and telling the person how stupid they are. It is the strangest thing but when I am being reasonable.. they don't want to help me.

On the other hand.. .I have been hung up on and accused of yelling at people when I wasn't.
post #111 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
Now see.. I often get my best results when I get really mad and start screaming and telling the person how stupid they are. It is the strangest thing but when I am being reasonable.. they don't want to help me.
Sadly, I've found the same thing. I try so hard to stay reasonable, then finally blow my top - and suddenly, everyone is trying to fix my problem. I always feel like crap afterwards - but my problem gets fixed.

Quote:
On the other hand.. .I have been hung up on and accused of yelling at people when I wasn't.
I've had this happen, too, but with people I know, not with any of the various levels of bureaucracy.
post #112 of 183
really? I have really found the old saying to be true: you catch more flies with honey than with vinigar.
I have always found that being nice and polite, but firm, you are much more likely to make the other person want to help you. if you are rude, the other person just goes, meh, you're a jerk, I don't care if your problem gets fixed. At least thats how I felt when I was in customer service.. (this is especially true with gate and counter agents at airports.. not to get into that debate again!)
post #113 of 183
If I'm firm and polite, I get the run around, almost every time. I've had the best results, every time, when I've blown my top and behaved really badly. It's kind of depressing, really. I always see people say that the way to get results is to be polite, but firm, and I want it to work - but it doesn't.
post #114 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
really? I have really found the old saying to be true: you catch more flies with honey than with vinigar.
I have always found that being nice and polite, but firm, you are much more likely to make the other person want to help you. if you are rude, the other person just goes, meh, you're a jerk, I don't care if your problem gets fixed. At least thats how I felt when I was in customer service.. (this is especially true with gate and counter agents at airports.. not to get into that debate again!)
I get better results with phone customer service when I get mean and nasty with them.
post #115 of 183
its interesting that you both have had those experiences. (i'm not trying to negate them. just saying that for me its always the opposite.) i wonder why that would be?
post #116 of 183
I don't know. It's always frustrated me. I will say that at least once, even though I was way out of line, the guy I was talking to actually laughed. Sometimes, my frustration comes out in a very...offbeat way.
post #117 of 183
oh that is the worst! when you're really upset and someone laughs! It is a good way to deflect that negative energy right back to the angry customer though, coming from that side of things!
post #118 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
its interesting that you both have had those experiences. (i'm not trying to negate them. just saying that for me its always the opposite.) i wonder why that would be?
Because people are strange.
post #119 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
If I'm firm and polite, I get the run around, almost every time. I've had the best results, every time, when I've blown my top and behaved really badly. It's kind of depressing, really. I always see people say that the way to get results is to be polite, but firm, and I want it to work - but it doesn't.
Wow, no wonder so many tele-receptionists are so bitter & ready to be rude. I have always heard the rumor that tele-help is bad news... but honestly IME, I have dealt with many many very friendly ones... they are just doing their job & want a peaceful day just like you do.

Try the experiment of giving what you get - really... next time you're waiting, anywhere, make the absolute best of it VS making the absolute worst of it... see internally & externally, check the differences.

& Storm, I'm not pulling you out of the crowd, just that your post was the most all-encompassing one... so I went with it. just fyi.
post #120 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
oh that is the worst! when you're really upset and someone laughs! It is a good way to deflect that negative energy right back to the angry customer though, coming from that side of things!
No, it was okay. It actually defused things, and my comment had been kind of funny, in retrospect. I basically accused him and his colleagues of working for the tax department, because every time I talked to them, they gave me a different answer.

hmm...that doesn't sound so funny, in retrospect...guess it was one of those "you had to be there" things.
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