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Life skills everyone should have before leaving home... - Page 9

post #161 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
not to split hairs, but I believe that is spanish.. what you meant was le chat.
Ah, you are correct. He said the French. I don't speak much Spanish, other than the few phrases/words I've used with the kids because unfortunately, it seems more practical than French.
post #162 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
when you're done teaching your kids, can you show me too?
and me?
post #163 of 183
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mran View Post
The biggest, most important thing I intend to teach my children:

- How to ask for help so that you can get the job done yourself.

They can ask a person, they can ask google, they can ask a book, I don't care. But they need to have the skills to look at the unknown task in front of them, be it cooking chicken, loading a dishwasher or changing brake pads, and find a resource that will tell or show them how to do it properly, so they can figure it out.

This morning, I took apart my kitchen drain and unclogged it, by myself - okay, my 1 yr old helped. We got a little dirty, but we fixed it, and we saved $75 on a plumber. I used some sort of Handyman book I recieved as a wedding gift and google to figure out how.

I think having the tools to do the research to figure out how to do something you don't know how to do is invaluable. I may not know how to set a formal table, but I can open a book or hop online and learn how to starch and fold cloth napkins and which forks should be where, etc. I may not know how to replace brake pads & calipers, but I can get on to youtube, and save $200 doing it myself, etc, etc.
Honestly, this is how I've learned to cook half of the things I make. I never "learned" how to roast a chicken; I looked it up!
post #164 of 183
Budgetting
post #165 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Honestly, this is how I've learned to cook half of the things I make. I never "learned" how to roast a chicken; I looked it up!
True. I wouldn't think a person would need to know how to cook everything, but I do think at least a basic grasp of cooking is very useful...almost necessary (unless they're going to eat out every meal). It can be learned from a book, as almost anything can, but I think it's very helpful to learn the basics with someone to help out, just because things like what meat looks like when it's done, or what overcooked veggies look like, are much easier to show than describe. Learning the basics by trial and error can mean a lot of wasted food, ime. (DH learned most of his cooking from books, but he learned the basics from me.)
post #166 of 183
lots of good thing mentioned in this thread. things I think it is important to learn before leaving home....

how to be prepared to be stranded in your car in the winter. If you don't live in a cold climate all the more reason to put the fear of God in them and make sure they know to be prepared when traveling to cold climates. it took me a long time to to learn that. Until I got stranded in a sudden blizzard, 6 weeks pregnant in nothing but pajama bottoms and a t-shirt (we were only 90 minutes from home, it was 70 when we left the house). no we keep blankets and boots and coats and hats and a survival kit in the trunk any time we go outside the city limits. kids jump up and take road trips without a lot of planning. they need to know what to do if they are heading for a colder climate.

How to sew. I had a girl scout mom who could not sew on a patch badly. I was embarrassed for her and sad for her kids that she wouldn't learn for them. they worked hard for those patches.

its ok to take a practice run. practice taking the bus/driving/biking/walking where yuou need to go. practice what you will do if you get lost. take a practice trip where you are going and find the place before you important appointment.

How to get health care. I never had health care growing up (we just suffered and used antibiotics collected from friends.) and was floored the firat time I saw a bill. i had no idea how to find a local dr., when and why I should see a Dr. , or how to go about paying.

I want them to know it is ok to ask questions and get help but I also want them to know where that line is between asking for a little help and being an over dependant burden. ask a friend to be your back up on a practice run. ask someone to show you where to get a good deal (my friend actually took my friend and I on a field trip to show us how to shop cheap.). ask the sales guy to draw you a diagram. (speaking of wiring electronics if he wanted me to buy yhat peice of equipment he was going to have to tell me how to do it. end of story.) Sales people at home depot have been so amazingly helpful I am recently single and have had to do a lot of things for myself that I thought impossible just six months ago. i own a crow bar and am not afraid to use it. thanks to the guy who sold it to me.

I want to teach them that rent/housing payments are a priority. I have had rental property for 8 years and never once have I had a tennant that made rent a priority. Until I tape an eviction notice to the door. I also want to teach them to respect their lease, respect thier rental property and remember it is not theirs, it beongs to the property owner (although they have had enough stuff trashed by tennants and had to go without because we didn't get rent, that they probably already get this). but if your kids are renting anything from anyone please teach them these things!

how to drink responsibly.

how to look things up and how to embrace a sense of adventure without being stupid. I did not know much when I moved out or got married but I wasn't shy about asking how to cook stuff, looking things up, reading books (how much better now that there is the internet and a youtube video for everything!!!), diving right into a new skill. I knew how to do laundry (well to get it reasonably clean. I still don't sort ot check pockets and I am 35...), how not to overdraw a check book, and thats about it. but I am adventurous and figured stuff out.
post #167 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
how to drink responsibly.
That is one that didn't occur to me, and I agree completely.

I'd extend it to, how to know how to handle yourself in situations involving drugs/alcohol. A simple "drugs are bad, mmmkay" is just setting up some college-age disasters. I've known so many people at that age get so far over their heads from not knowing simple, sensible things about drugs and alcohol.
post #168 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
How to sew. I had a girl scout mom who could not sew on a patch badly. I was embarrassed for her and sad for her kids that she wouldn't learn for them. they worked hard for those patches.
I was convinced I couldn't learn to sew because I was left handed. It was too hard to teach.. DON'T touch my machine you just screw it up.. blah blah blah yada yada yada.

I am SO glad they make iron on patches on now.. my oldest daughters brownie vest looked funny.
post #169 of 183
post #170 of 183

Just giving a 'bump' to this old thread to see if anyone else is interested in this issue at the moment. My 18yo son is about to embark on life on his own in Germany (a place we lived for years, and he speaks fluent German) to study violin. He'll be on his own much of the time -- and very far from us. He will be living in our apartment there, and spending two days a week in Amsterdam (getting there on the train) with his violin teacher. Amsterdam 'alone' just seems to daunting, but our town in Germany (3 hours by train) is familiar in every dimension. We'll be there on an off, but for the most part, he will be on his own. 

 

We have a few months to go -- so I want to make sure that he has the skills he needs to cope. Ideas? Tips? Experiences? I'd love to restart the discussion. 

 

 

post #171 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post

How to sew. I had a girl scout mom who could not sew on a patch badly. I was embarrassed for her and sad for her kids that she wouldn't learn for them. they worked hard for those patches.
 

 

I learned to sew as a kid. I suck at it, and I hate it. I did sew on ds1's Cub patches, but I didn't do a great job of it. I don't know about the mom you're talking about, but I find sewing really, really, really difficult.

post #172 of 183

Oh, good thread... and timely too!

 

My 9 year old is currently learning a bunch of hard lessons. I fired him a week ago... his job was to load and unload the dishwasher and he was complaining a lot, telling me he'd do it 'later', and not doing his job properly. So he learned how NOT to stay employed.

 

It only took a few days before he realized he's not earning money anymore. He scrounged up all the change he could find & had about $3.00. He found the receipt for a toy he bought just before he lost his job, and tried to convince us to take him to the mall to return it. Then he learned that returns are for things that are broken or haven't been opened and used yet... and also that even if he did manage to return it, $25. won't last him forever. 

 

Now he really wants his job back, so he's been given the chance to earn it... by writing his first resume. He made an effort on it today, but he forgot our phone number, there are some spelling errors he needs to fix and I helped him brainstorm some skills & experience that he needs to type in. He got frustrated and is taking a break, so now he's learning that getting a job can be harder than having a job, and that being self sufficient/responsible is a privilege not a chore. At least I hope that's what he's learning... he'd probably say he's learning that mommy is a mean boss.

post #173 of 183

has someone said it already?  tl:dr.... 

 

how to use the library!!!!! 

post #174 of 183

I read only the first page of the thread, but I think people covered most of the important things.

 

In the category of learning how to find things out, he should know how to use Google, but he might not know which things are good to look up when you live on your own. He should know how to search the website of the city (and provincial?) governments so he knows about trash collection, local taxes and fees, regulations about where to keep your bicycle, pets, and so on. He should know about taxes generally--I don't actually know what taxes they have in Germany, whether there's VAT or whatever, but it's important. I wrote my first budgets on my own without taking taxes fully into account--I thought I was only going to have pay what was taken out of my payroll tax. D'oh! 

 

Where is he going to vote? Does he need to register for that? 

 

Most of the posters on this thread have talked about basics like cleaning and cooking and sewing. You know what your son likes to eat--he should know how to cook his own favorites, so he doesn't have to eat out all the time. (Which he will, of course! You can't stop that--but he shouldn't have to.) If you learned to cook from a certain book, give him that.  (Maybe he's going to be at university or conservatory, and they have a mensa, which is inexpensive--but it can't hurt to have the food-from-home option anyway.) 

 

It's pretty easy to navigate Amsterdam, but it's worth getting a map of the city, if he doesn't have an iPhone that makes such a thing automatic. Even though it's a logically-laid-out place with the train station smack in the middle, you can still get lost since at first your landmarks seem to repeat. ("Uh, yeah, he's in the house on the street next to the canal. Whoops.") Amsterdam has bike lanes and people get testy if you stand in them. Speak English, not German, in Amsterdam. I tried speaking Dutch and got guff for having a German accent even though I'm a native English speaker, and that was in the 1990s. It's a really lovely place and I'm envious that he gets to be there two days a week. 

 

I'm sure he's already responsible about drinking and drugs and that he already knows how to carry money so he doesn't get his pockets picked. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Profmom View Post

Just giving a 'bump' to this old thread to see if anyone else is interested in this issue at the moment. My 18yo son is about to embark on life on his own in Germany (a place we lived for years, and he speaks fluent German) to study violin. He'll be on his own much of the time -- and very far from us. He will be living in our apartment there, and spending two days a week in Amsterdam (getting there on the train) with his violin teacher. Amsterdam 'alone' just seems to daunting, but our town in Germany (3 hours by train) is familiar in every dimension. We'll be there on an off, but for the most part, he will be on his own. 

 

We have a few months to go -- so I want to make sure that he has the skills he needs to cope. Ideas? Tips? Experiences? I'd love to restart the discussion. 


 

 

post #175 of 183
Quote:
In the 21 century, I think elementary schools should teach "Cabling" - explaining to students how to connect all their various computer and "home entertainment system" stuff. (Okay - I'm being facetoius, but it does seem to be morphing into a basic life skill.)

I do think that starting at a young age kids do need to learn to be conscientious media consumers. What is the goal of this media? Who puts it out? Where do they get thier information? Etc.

 

My friends who teach college have to explain to their students all the time how to tell a good website and a poor one for information and how to quote and cite a website in research (hint - you should find where the site got their facts and quote that instead).
 

 

post #176 of 183

One thing my Dad taught me was how to take care of my car.  How to change the oil, the tires and spark plugs.  Lots of other little things that add up too.  My mom taught me time management.  I had a roommate who I taught how to do laundry and I had to always help her with time management and how to grocery shop.  She taught me girl things my mom left out. 

post #177 of 183
What a great thread. lurk.gif
post #178 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by JollyGG View Post

I do think that starting at a young age kids do need to learn to be conscientious media consumers. What is the goal of this media? Who puts it out? Where do they get thier information? Etc.

 

My friends who teach college have to explain to their students all the time how to tell a good website and a poor one for information and how to quote and cite a website in research (hint - you should find where the site got their facts and quote that instead).
 

 


 Yes! And Wikipedia  is NOT a valid resource for academic papers!

 

post #179 of 183

Wow, I can't believe I made it through this entire thread and, although there's lots about shopping for and cooking food, there's nothing about producing it! 

 

My perspective is that producing food has been an essential life skill for the vast majority of human history and that we are in a relatively brief bubble of industrial food production which may soon end, or at least end as we know it. My attitude is also at least partially regional, but here in rural Nova Scotia virtually all the families we associate with do some of their own food production through gardening, farming, hunting, fishing, etc. These are complex skills, too--many take years to learn to do well. 

 

Mass-produced food is getting more and more expensive, even as paychecks get smaller, and many crop systems are susceptible to mass disaster (both oranges and bananas are on the brink of crashing already, for example). I sincerely hope I'm wrong that food production will become a vital life skill again within our children and grandchildren's lifetimes, but I sure wouldn't lay any bets. Therefore my 6 year old knows how to compost leftovers, mulch a raised bed, save seeds, use a cloche, cure a squash, etc etc.

post #180 of 183

Awesome posts, haven't gotten through all of them.  Very in agreement with above about food production, cooking, budgeting and good communication with family and friends.

 

Don't know if anyone said this, but I'd add media literacy, too.  I find that even in our very hands on household, with no Facebook or cable/satellite, my kids are still very wired and encounter lots of info via internet, radio, TV and news.  We've done a lot of discussing about how advertising works, how everyone has a view point and will present information that backs it.  I want them to not take all information at face value and learn how to delve deeper into issues in order to gain the most balanced view points, including (in fact, maybe especially) the view points I share.

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