Bottles/Formula for less fortunate mom

[RubyOrganique]

I'm doing a church event which calls for a gift for an infant of bottles, bottle liners, etc. I have tons of issues with a woman not breastfeeding (economic, health, etc.) and am struggling to maintain the spirit of the gift.

I've opted for glass bottles (given that I do not trust even bpa-free plastic bottles). Any tips on what else I could do for this mom to encourage pumping over formula? I'm not in a position to purchase even a low-cost pump. I recognize that this gift will likely end up with someone who has to go back to work and even pumping may be a real challenge for them.

The bottom line is that I lament the lack of information in lower income communities about the benefits/convenience/low cost of breastfeeding. I'm not naive enough to think nursing is ideal for everyone in this kind of situation, but I'd like to provide this woman with a gift she can use and be empowered by.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[crunchy_mommy]

Gosh I think I'd have a hard time with that too.

What about a breastfeeding book (if you can't afford to buy her one, give your own gently-used copies or even make one out of print-outs from your favorite BF'ing websites)?

A nursing cover? (I know Walmart's are like $12... and yes, I know she should not have to cover herself but some new moms like to cover up, I did!)

My hospital gave me a free (manual) breast pump when I gave birth, maybe contact your local hospitals and ask if they would be willing to give you a sample pump and/or BF'ing kit like they give to new moms?

Breastmilk storage bags?

Maybe even just a hand-written, heartfelt note about how wonderful breastfeeding is, along with the phone numbers of a few LLL/LC's...

[elus0814]

I would try for books too or even a few handwritten or printed pages. Storage bags would be good. I would shy away from a hospital manual pump, the one I received (medela) was terrible and a bad pump could further discourage her if she doesn't know there are better options out there. I only pumped when my second was in the NICU and I used a avent isis manual pump and it was great. They had a hospital grade electric one that I could use but the manual one was so much better. They are only about $40. Same goes for the nursing cover, a blanket works just as well and I've seen women use the wal-mart type covers and they, um, don't exactly cover everything since they are so short.

If you are comfortable with it maybe you could include a hand written note with a contact number for you with the offer to help talk her through breastfeeding challenges.

I hear you that it can be discouraging. I often read through the wanted ads on craigslist and so often there are ads where pregnant women are asking for people to give them bottles and formula - why don't they just breastfeed? Many of them also mention in the ad that they are asking for help because they are out of work so it's not like pumping would be an issue.

[tanyam926]

I completely understand where you are coming from bc I have been in similar situations.

This is what I have assembled for the mom:

In addition to the glass bottles (which can be used for bm of course),
-bm storage bags
-info/pamphlets from WIC or hospital about benes of BF
-contact info for local LLL or other BF moms group
-disposable or washable breast pads (which she will need even if she doesn't BF, atleast for the first couple of wks)
-coupons to local maternity store for nursing bras (if available in your area)
-info about getting electric pumps from medicaid or WIC office (WIC in our state has a printout explaining different types of pumps they have available)

I think it's great that you are wanting to promote BF and are wanting to help the mom in a realistic way. Good luck!

[RubyOrganique]

These are great ideas. I'll definitely include as many of these as possible. Thanks!!

[hippiemommaof4]

I agree that I think every woman who is able should BF! I am confused THOUGH is she pregnant? then I think that would be a good idea provided you know her situation! OR is the baby already here? If the baby is older I dont think a pump would do any good if the baby is ff or has been for a bit because most people arent open to that idea. Or if there is a medical reason the mom cannot breastfeed like meds? If so she may not be able to use it... so you may want to get more info on the mom /baby first hand . I think its awesome to give someone info about BFing but I think maybe more info is needed about the mom first or even the baby if it has a birth defect etc. I had a friend who had breast cancer and a masectomy and couldnt nurse/also a friend who pumped exclusively for her dd 18 months who had a birth defect and couldn't nurse so I think its better to just know what you are dealing with before jumping the gun on the gift. If none of those apply then by all means go ahead !

[ErikaS57]

lanolin would probably be good too

[goodheartedmama]

Is the baby born already? If you're not comfortable giving it, I'd just skip it entirely and give to another charity that you support.

I don't think giving milk bags to a mom who has already chosen to not breastfeed will do any good if the baby is already here.

[WC_hapamama]

I'm going to be the dissenting opinion here. If this gift is for an infant who is already here, I'd not include breastfeeding specific stuff in the gift unless you know exactly what the circumstances are. Don't assume that it's easy for someone to pump milk, relactate, or just breastfeed if you're not certain what their circumstances are. Otherwise you're possibly going to waste money and resources that could be used by someone else.

Ideally yes, every mother should try breastfeeding, but sometimes it just doesn't work out.

If you don't like the idea of supporting a formula feeding mama, ask whoever is organizing the gift to assign you to something else.

[stiss]

Originally Posted by WC_hapamama

I'm going to be the dissenting opinion here. If this gift is for an infant who is already here, I'd not include breastfeeding specific stuff in the gift unless you know exactly what the circumstances are. Don't assume that it's easy for someone to pump milk, relactate, or just breastfeed if you're not certain what their circumstances are. Otherwise you're possibly going to waste money and resources that could be used by someone else.

Ideally yes, every mother should try breastfeeding, but sometimes it just doesn't work out.

If you don't like the idea of supporting a formula feeding mama, ask whoever is organizing the gift to assign you to something else.

I agree. As someone who tried everything (EVERYTHING!) to nurse my child, getting a gift like this would feel like a slap in the face, and a reminder that I'm likely seen as an inferior parent in the eyes of some other mother. It's wonderful that you want to encourage breastfeeding and promote education, but if you don't know the history, it could be a very insensitive gesture, albeit unintentional.

If you're not comfortable providing formula (which I'm sure would be very appreciated as it's so expensive), I think it's reasonable if you want to be assigned to someone else. At the same time, I'd urge you to consider that maybe this particular venue isn't appropriate for lactivism efforts, mainly because you don't know the circumstances. Those moms are just looking for some help at Christmas, you know?

Edited because I want to clarify that I think your charitable efforts are really commendable. I also totally get that your heart is in the right place. I just think there are better, more appropriate times to use your lactivist powers, heh heh.

[KirstenMary]

If you are unable to give what is on the list, you should refrain from giving, especially if the requests are formula related, and you decide to make it a bfing gift.

[UberMama]

Originally Posted by stiss

I agree. As someone who tried everything (EVERYTHING!) to nurse my child, getting a gift like this would feel like a slap in the face, and a reminder that I'm likely seen as an inferior parent in the eyes of some other mother. It's wonderful that you want to encourage breastfeeding and promote education, but if you don't know the history, it could be a very insensitive gesture, albeit unintentional.

If you're not comfortable providing formula (which I'm sure would be very appreciated as it's so expensive), I think it's reasonable if you want to be assigned to someone else. At the same time, I'd urge you to consider that maybe this particular venue isn't appropriate for lactivism efforts, mainly because you don't know the circumstances. Those moms are just looking for some help at Christmas, you know?

Edited because I want to clarify that I think your charitable efforts are really commendable. I also totally get that your heart is in the right place. I just think there are better, more appropriate times to use your lactivist powers, heh heh.

This. I tried everything and then some with my twins. I was so upset over not being able to BF (did pump but not as long as I would have liked, as I was so run down from caring for twins + pumping) - I think that is a large part of what sent me into postpartum depression, and why I had to go on Zoloft for a few months so I wasn't a sobbing mess everyday. Family and friends knew not to mention BFing/pumping, as it'd send me into a crying heap on the floor.

[bandgeek]

I wouldn't give a bunch of bf'ing stuff if they asked for bottles/formula. You don't know why they are choosing to bottlefeed or supplement. I wouldn't necessarily give formula though just because you never know what formula a baby will tolerate. What if you give a bunch of regular enfamil and they need the hypoallergenic stuff? I would do bottles, WIC information, breast pads (I agree you need them if you nurse or not), maybe a Dr. Sears book (he does talk about how to AP while bottle-feeding), a bottle brush, ect.

[Leta]

ITA- if the baby is already born, stick to formula. If the mama is pregnant, by all means, offer bfing support, give lanolin, etc. But earthside babies gotta eat even if the bf ship has sailed.

If you register with the formula companies as bfing mom, they will send you 2 cans and a bunch of formula checks. Will they do this for ffing moms? Nope, cuz they are evil.

I, as a bfing mom, signed up with Enfamil and then gave the stuff they sent me to a low income ffing mom I know (WIC doesn't give enough formula for the whole month) and she was so happy.

[kriket]

Info on her local WIC office.

[Dana_305]

This is probably too late to help you with your problem. But I would give the glass bottles and slip some pamphlets about BF or support stuff LLL into the bottles and include the contact info for a local LLL leader so the mama has somewhere to turn if she does decide to BF who could help her get a pump and such.

[OkiMom]

My church did something similar for several woman who were having financial problems and I did supply formula for them. I didnt know them and I didnt feel right doing something that could upset them. I know that people (especially mothers) feel judged all the time and I didnt want someone to feel like they were being judged by the people at their church.

[crunchy_mommy]

FTR, I think most of us that encouraged giving nursing supplies assumed the baby was not yet born... I, at least, was not thinking of a baby that was already here and in that situation would either give the formula or request a different family to donate to if I was unable to provide formula.