Our nanny has worked for us since our daughter was about 6 months old (now she is 20 months). She works FT, 40 hours a week. She is a good nanny – organizes age appropriate activities, disciplines/entertains our daughter in the way we would. Our daughter is very attached to her and we don’t have any concerns about her work. As such she is rewarded well – we pay her $18:50 an hour, pay IRS mileage rates for any driving she does, 2 weeks paid vacation plus paid public holidays.
So onto the problem. She has had a number of personal problems in the last couple of years. She was diagnosed with cancer, which she is recovering from, thankfully, but which has of course resulted in her incurring very high medical bills, even with health insurance. And she is now going through what looks to be a nasty divorce. I know that financially she is struggling. She has two children and has joint custody with her husband (for now, at least).
She approached us (via voicemail) asking if she could borrow $1,500 for a retainer for a divorce lawyer. My husband and I were at a social event when I heard the message so we didn’t really discuss it much. More of a “let’s talk about it later”. Actually, I forgot about it.
A couple of days later, I was paying bills and noticed that my husband had written her a check for $1500. I told him that he should have waited until we had discussed it, but I wasn’t overly concerned. (He thought I would be OK with it.) Until after discussion it seemed that there was no written agreement in place, and that they had merely discussed that she would repay $200 a month and babysit for free one Saturday evening per month (so it would be paid off in 6 months.)
That was 3 months ago. So far we have had $100 back, and the babysitting. TBH I had left it with my husband to deal with – he arranged it, so he can figure it out – but he is reluctant to raise it with her. She did mention it last week (“I know I still owe you the money and I’m working on it.”) but that’s it. I spoke with our nanny payroll/tax people and they said that taking it directly from her paycheck would be problematic for various reasons.
My husband is happy to get the free babysitting and call the rest her “Christmas bonus” (last year we gave her a similar amount). Honestly, we both feel bad that she is in the financial position she is with her medical bills. And we have a very good income, so we aren’t missing the money. I was OK with this until she called 15 minutes ago asking if she could get her mileage money for the last couple of months (totaling about $350). That has put my nose out of joint. If I had fallen behind in loan repayments, I wouldn't be calling to claim something else, even though it is entirely legitimate.
What would you do? (Other than not lend money to an employee. We won’t make that mistake again.) Apply the mileage to the money owed? Write it off as a gift? Anything else?
So onto the problem. She has had a number of personal problems in the last couple of years. She was diagnosed with cancer, which she is recovering from, thankfully, but which has of course resulted in her incurring very high medical bills, even with health insurance. And she is now going through what looks to be a nasty divorce. I know that financially she is struggling. She has two children and has joint custody with her husband (for now, at least).
She approached us (via voicemail) asking if she could borrow $1,500 for a retainer for a divorce lawyer. My husband and I were at a social event when I heard the message so we didn’t really discuss it much. More of a “let’s talk about it later”. Actually, I forgot about it.
A couple of days later, I was paying bills and noticed that my husband had written her a check for $1500. I told him that he should have waited until we had discussed it, but I wasn’t overly concerned. (He thought I would be OK with it.) Until after discussion it seemed that there was no written agreement in place, and that they had merely discussed that she would repay $200 a month and babysit for free one Saturday evening per month (so it would be paid off in 6 months.)
That was 3 months ago. So far we have had $100 back, and the babysitting. TBH I had left it with my husband to deal with – he arranged it, so he can figure it out – but he is reluctant to raise it with her. She did mention it last week (“I know I still owe you the money and I’m working on it.”) but that’s it. I spoke with our nanny payroll/tax people and they said that taking it directly from her paycheck would be problematic for various reasons.
My husband is happy to get the free babysitting and call the rest her “Christmas bonus” (last year we gave her a similar amount). Honestly, we both feel bad that she is in the financial position she is with her medical bills. And we have a very good income, so we aren’t missing the money. I was OK with this until she called 15 minutes ago asking if she could get her mileage money for the last couple of months (totaling about $350). That has put my nose out of joint. If I had fallen behind in loan repayments, I wouldn't be calling to claim something else, even though it is entirely legitimate.
What would you do? (Other than not lend money to an employee. We won’t make that mistake again.) Apply the mileage to the money owed? Write it off as a gift? Anything else?
If I were your nanny, I would work even harder and love you even more for showing me such compassion.
