MAJOR regression

[RubyOrganique]

It feels like we never did EC at all. We've done it mostly part time since she was about 6 weeks old with great success until she learned to walk at 12 months. We then went from catching most poos to catching none, but still catching 80% pees. Now at 16 months, we can't get her to even allow us to hold her over the potty and waits until she's diapered to go. She likes to play with her plastic potty and regularly potties her stuffed animals, but the connection is clearly not being made. I've backed off, tried to make events low key and comfortable for her. To complicate things, we relocated halfway across country, so there has been major upheaval in the last 6-8 weeks. And now that we're in a colder climate, I fear my COLD HANDS and cold toilet seat are less than appealing...sounds silly. But how do you warm up your hands when trying to respond promptly to a signal?

Do I just wait and hope for the best? How about writing a potty book? She recently learned the word 'poop' when she encountered some of our dog's. She can tell me clearly now when she needs a diaper change. I find this encouraging.

Thanks for the advice.

[Alison Cole]

I've got a 22mo (EC'd since 1 wk) who's having some similar regression stuff, and I've been pretty frustrated, and came here to get some advice as well. I'm trying to believe (and I think it's probably true) that as life gets more interesting for her, going to the potty has become sort of old hat, and she'd rather be coloring or dancing or whatever than telling me about her potties and getting to the toilet. We can still predictably catch a potty after she wakes up from a nap, but other than that, it's really tough. I think once she learned that she could make the choice not to potty on the potty when given the opportunity, she's been interested in exploring that power, you know? There's not a lot in their lives that they can really control, but once they know that they can control their potties, they can explore the idea of control by holding it as long as they can, or deciding only to use diapers for a while. I'm trying to be Zen with it, and hope that one way or another all our early months/year+ of EC will pay off once she's a little more motivated to actually use the skills I know she has. Good luck to both of us, eh?

[tutucrazy]

This is normal. Especially if there has been some big changes, ie: moving. Just try to keep encouraging her. I'd suggest lots of naked time and using underwear instead of diapers. My 22 mo. has far less misses if he is naked or with underwear.

[pixiepunk]

i agree that the move probably has a lot to do with it. both my older two, who i part-time EC'd, had pretty major 'strikes' in toddlerhood, which they emerged from and PL'd practically overnight. she hasn't forgotten, though it might seem like it.

sometimes with kids that age, making pottying fun, like making up a special song, or bringing special toys or books that are only available at potty time can be helpful. my DD1 had this book with a button that sounded like a toilet flushing that she thought was the best thing ever and we only got to see it during potty time. sometimes it just takes a positive association for them to remember how much better it feels to go in the potty, and they start initiating more on their own.

also, remember that during all this time that you've been EC'ing, you've been keeping your child clean and dry and letting her know that you are listening and responding to her needs. and that's never a waste of time, regardless of what age your child ultimately ends up being an ec 'graduate'

[hrsmom]

We had a time where we had very few catches and quite a few potty refusals. I just kept changing her when needed and talking about it, and one day she surprised me! It sounds like you're sensitive to what might be going on with your LO. As for cold hands, I tend to just apologize for having cold hands. When she was refusing the potty a lot, it wouldn't have mattered if my hands were cold or not, and at the moment she doesn't seem to care, either!