When Do You Just Say 'Enough'?

[ThoughtFullMama]

I was sitting in our homeschooling group today and all I could think about was being in a cabin somewhere, a goose cooking in my wood-burning stove, snow outside (I dream of Alaska) our cat curled up on the windowsill, and having no one to answer to, no one to tell me how to spend my days, and actually being able to play and interact with my kids

Right now we are so BUSY and I hate it. I hate, hate hate it I hate being sucked in to 'having' to have a car, schedule playdates, start a business that I don't want to start (a whole other post, really) pay bills for things I don't want or believe in (like a cell phone and electricity) and on and on and on.

So, here's my question: what made you leave all the 'comforts' of society and take the leap into being 'off-grid?' And how do I even go about starting that process?

And, the biggie: I intend to move to Alaska someday, with or without DH. I can feel it in my very soul that is where me and my kids belong Of course, I'd prefer for him to come, but I don't know if he will or not.

Any advice, commiseration, is welcome

[alaskaberry]

I live in Alaska! (as if you couldn't tell from my username, )

I'm not 'off-grid', per-se, but I do live w/o running water. So that's half the battle, right? I have a woodstove, though we also have a back-up oil burner. I have an outhouse and a shower/pump system. I haven't had a garden yet (black thumb here...planning on one next summer). I live in a 'small' house, but it's just right for the four of us for now. We *do* have cell phones, but DP works in the oil fields and it's just easier to keep in touch that way.

I moved up here when I was 22, and had at family at 24. We have been cabin-folk ever since--wood stove, dry cabin living, etc. What makes a person "make the jump"? Well, when you're sick of the life you're currently living...when you are restless, when you know you just can't stand another minute of all the unimportant stuff. When you feel like you're waiting for the real thing to start. When you know, you just know.

There are lots of cool places to live here. If you like to have your 'city comforts' close by, there's Anchorage in the south. Homer is a really, really kickass place (or so I've heard, plus all of us want to move there, or at least to the Kenai Peninsula). I live in Fairbanks, which has the most extremes of temps (-40s in the winter, 80s in the summer). IMHO Fbx is the best, but I'm a cold-weather kind of gal I guess (I'm originally from VT). Juneau is supposed to be really neat as well but I've heard it's extremely expensive. Ketchikan is warm but it rains all the time there. Alaska also has some pretty cool homeschooling programs and support groups, but of course you can unschool if you like too. If you have more questions, pop over to the AK forum and we'll all be happy to answer them.

[ThoughtFullMama]

Originally Posted by alaskaberry

when you're sick of the life you're currently living...when you are restless, when you know you just can't stand another minute of all the unimportant stuff. When you feel like you're waiting for the real thing to start. When you know, you just know.

Yeah, that

[alaskaberry]

Yep--you just gotta jump! Get your DH on board and move to AK!

[hippiemommaof4]

ahhh you should do it! i miss alaska every day...dh and i both do. i'm getting homesick for it now i do not like the south at all. i miss waking up to how beautiful it was there ahhh so sad we had to leave
nak

[annethcz]

I think you start living the way you want to live NOW, where you are. Yes, there are certain lifestyle changes that happen if you move off-grid. But you don't have to wait until you move to start living a slower-paced life.

Stop being so busy. Stop scheduling playdates. Give up your cell phone. Have electricity free days. Decide to live with the pace of the earth by not using artificial lights in your home (go to bed and get up with the sun). Live the way you intentend to live when you move. You may find out that you love a slower paced life, or you may find out that it's not quite what you thought it would be.

Regardless of WHERE you live, you're still going to be you. Giving up conveniences isn't going to be easier just because you live in the country vs. the city. You're not going to be a different person just because you live off grid. Make the changes you can NOW, while working towards the life you want for the future.

ETA:

I was sitting in our homeschooling group today and all I could think about was being in a cabin somewhere, a goose cooking in my wood-burning stove, snow outside (I dream of Alaska) our cat curled up on the windowsill, and having no one to answer to, no one to tell me how to spend my days, and actually being able to play and interact with my kids

Right now we are so BUSY and I hate it. I hate, hate hate it I hate being sucked in to 'having' to have a car, schedule playdates, start a business that I don't want to start (a whole other post, really) pay bills for things I don't want or believe in (like a cell phone and electricity) and on and on and on.

I wanted to add another way to look at this. When you're living rurally, you may not have a homeschooling group to attend, unless you want to drive a very long way. And when you live rurally, you will probably HAVE to have a car. Although it's a nice dream to be completely self-sufficient, it's not very realistic. You WILL need to go to town for supplies at least occasionally. As for playdates, if your kids want to play with anyone, scheduling playdates will be a necessity because there won't be any neighbor kids to play with.

[mtn.mama]

Lovely advice.

[greenmamato2]

ThoughtfulMama - We are in a similar place. We are just feeling burnt out by the fast pace of all of these unneccessary complications of modern life. I love the cold, and having a wood stove for heat is something we had often growing up. I love that. We love doing things ourselves, love to garden, love the outdoors, and rustic everything. We feel most at home in the mountains, not in the middle of one of the biggest cities in our state. We just want to live more simply and more "real".

Annethcz had some great suggestions and ones I'm going to take up too. Electricity free days for example, though it will have to wait until its a bit warmer as we don't have a wood stove right now to supplement heat. While that doesn't bother me much, my two little ones might be uncomfortable. We can cook on our fire pit out back though.

We have definitely made some changes that are leading us toward a more simple lifestyle. I have stopped making so many must-do commitments (like joining clubs that I have responsibilities for, etc). We got rid of cable. We cook at home 99% of the time. I sew, spin, knit, crochet, paint, and do all other sorts of crafts that will help benefit us when we move farther and farther from the convenience of "modern living".

For us, its a slow change, but I am feeling the pressure too, to make a big move. We are planning to move back to our home state in the mountains this summer. I'm praying we can find a nice place in the woods that we can call home and make our rustic simple dream a reality.

[alaskaberry]

Originally Posted by annethcz

ETA:

I wanted to add another way to look at this. When you're living rurally, you may not have a homeschooling group to attend, unless you want to drive a very long way. And when you live rurally, you will probably HAVE to have a car. Although it's a nice dream to be completely self-sufficient, it's not very realistic. You WILL need to go to town for supplies at least occasionally. As for playdates, if your kids want to play with anyone, scheduling playdates will be a necessity because there won't be any neighbor kids to play with.

Yes, I wanted to add that though I live outside of town, I still live pretty close to Fairbanks. We *do* have cars and we *do* have electric, because to be honest, I would go nuts living in the dark (and I mean *the dark*, 3 hrs of sunlight a day in winter, and you can't even take the kids outside because it's too cold) all winter. We don't have neighborhood kids...Mainly college students live near us. My friends do live in the area...but you still have to drive to get to their places.

[rabbitmum]

Just commiserating. I'm sick of the stress, and bored of all the stupid things. The cell phone is wearing me out just by lying around in the house. THERE, I switched it off! I don't know why anybody wants to live in a city. I hate hearing traffic noise all the time.

[APBTlover]

Originally Posted by rabbitmum

Just commiserating. I'm sick of the stress, and bored of all the stupid things. The cell phone is wearing me out just by lying around in the house. THERE, I switched it off! I don't know why anybody wants to live in a city. I hate hearing traffic noise all the time.

I hatehatehate the stupid cell phones these days. If it weren't for DH's long commute during the week, I wouldn't even have one (he drives over and hour one-way in a valiant but elderly car). And I hate that commute, too, though not as much as he does.

One thing I've noticed, in regards to some of the advice here, is that it's somewhat difficult to just partially extricate yourself from the "stuff." Not to say you shouldn't do what you can where you are -- you should! But, for instance, back on the cell phone thing... We have one chiefly so DH can contact me in case he runs into trouble on his commute. Okay. But just because I have one, everyone seems to expect that I should have it with me all of the time. "Where were you?? I've been calling you for an hour!"

"Sorry! I was out walking/playing with the dogs/hiking."

"Don't you have a cell phone???"

Does anyone else notice stuff like this?

[Dillpicklechip]

Originally Posted by APBTlover

One thing I've noticed, in regards to some of the advice here, is that it's somewhat difficult to just partially extricate yourself from the "stuff." Not to say you shouldn't do what you can where you are -- you should! But, for instance, back on the cell phone thing... We have one chiefly so DH can contact me in case he runs into trouble on his commute. Okay. But just because I have one, everyone seems to expect that I should have it with me all of the time. "Where were you?? I've been calling you for an hour!"

"Sorry! I was out walking/playing with the dogs/hiking."

"Don't you have a cell phone???"

Does anyone else notice stuff like this?

Neither dh nor I has never had a cell phone, and I hope we will be able to keep it that way in the future, even when we do move to the country. I absolutely loathe the idea of people being able to get a hold of me at any time or any place! What ever happened to peace and quiet, or privacy?

Personally, I think that the advancement of modern communications technology (and perhaps the advertisements thereof) has made people think that you're supposed to be in touch with every single person you know every moment of every day. I think it's overkill. We all need our personal space.

[sparkygirl74]

We have cell phones, mostly for car emergencies. We have no reception where we live though and I love it! Everyone I know know's I never answer it though and rarely answer my home phone. If i't important they can leave a message and we can call them back.

To the OP. We live rurally, but on grid. We plan on getting solar and wind power eventually but are probably going to stay attached to the grid for back-up. We rarely do playdates and are home-schooling. If you just set up your lifestyle the way you want it eventually it will be normal for you and it will make it much easier when you do move someday. We moved near my Dh's family and they are starting to get used to our "weird" ways. I think it is much harder on them than us, lol.

[greenmamato2]

Our ideal of a simple lifestyle would still be near enough to town that we could get there relatively easily. We have special needs in our family, so we still have to be close to accessible medical care and such. For that reason our "simple" life will definitely include a car, though we'll walk for a lot of things, if we're close enough to town. As a kid we used to live about 3 miles out of town up the mountain in the forrest and I *loved* walking from there to school, and to the store and such.

As for technology, my "ideal" would still be having computer and internet accessibility, and cell phones. However, I hope to not use them as much as I do now - mostly because the majority of my time would be spent focusing on enriching and fulfilling things right in front of me! I think for me, computers and internet access are important because they connect me to the people who do live far away who I still want to stay in touch with, and it is also a wonderful source of education and inspirational content. Plus I can stay connected to my favorite message boards and blogs.

I like having the cell phone to stay connected to family and friends, and to stay on top of DD's medical care appointments and such. I don't answer every call I get and I tell people it is best to reach me via text instead of phonecall because I can look at it and respond when I am ready to, instead of being a slave to it. I think that would remain the same in our "simple life."

For me, a simple life means being away from the hustle and bustle of city life and being able to focus on the fulfilling things. It means not worrying about trying to fit in to mainstream city life, but being freer to live a more natural life, enjoying and being a more active part of, the natural world around me.

[PenelopeJune]

I think you start living the way you want to live NOW, where you are. Yes, there are certain lifestyle changes that happen if you move off-grid. But you don't have to wait until you move to start living a slower-paced life.

Stop being so busy. Stop scheduling playdates. Give up your cell phone. Have electricity free days. Decide to live with the pace of the earth by not using artificial lights in your home (go to bed and get up with the sun). Live the way you intentend to live when you move. You may find out that you love a slower paced life, or you may find out that it's not quite what you thought it would be.

Regardless of WHERE you live, you're still going to be you. Giving up conveniences isn't going to be easier just because you live in the country vs. the city. You're not going to be a different person just because you live off grid. Make the changes you can NOW, while working towards the life you want for the future.

I completely agree with this post.

As far as cell phones go, I hate them. We have a pay as you go cell, we put about $30 on it every three months, and we rarely get calls on it. DH calls me from work, and if I'm going somewhere alone I take it. Very few people have my number. When I'm not at home, I don't want to talk on the phone.

People don't like that I have dial up which makes my phone busy. When people are like, "Your number has been busy for an hour!" I just say, "Sorry!" Because really, I don't care. Never has a call I missed been an emergency.

[1jooj]

I wouldn't think for a moment that switching to off-grid living would be less busy. Like annethcz said, live the way you want to live now. Log off, turn off, say no, shut down, etc. to the extent you need to.

If you were to move to the countryside, would you be pursuing a degree of self-sufficiency? Perhaps you might not be driving all over the place--but you may be gardening; feeding, watering and cleaning up the poop of livestock; milking; maintaining grounds, fences, barns, buildings; canning, butchering, freezing and dehydrating. Add to that the day-to-day of laundry, housecleaning, dishes, cooking, etc. and homeschooling, and there went your day. It's easy enough go nuts at peak season when you're canning and pickling and freezing and butchering chickens...or in spring when you're tilling and planting and lambing/kidding/brooding chicks...

And I've noticed that now that I am home full time, I simply have to keep a cleaner house. Because I am here to look at it.

No matter where you live or how you live, you're going to be as busy or relaxed as you are. And I say this as someone who has always been and continues to be "too busy."

On the cell phone, I have one. My dh travels a lot, often overseas and I am outside, in the barn, running errands, etc. This way, even with time zone issues, we can talk from time to time when he travels. Just because I have it doesn't mean I always answer it. Same with my home phone. I own the phone. It doesn't own me.

[MamaMonica]

Yes, wherever you go there you are. You will still be the same person in the country with different challenges. Keep planning and working on making your dream come true.

It's less stressful-busy in the country, but busier, as in more physical work and more driving. It was simpler in the city, though I prefer the country. It's a lot more work so you have to make sure you really love the lifestyle. It's worth it if you love the country, but not simpler.

[BurtsGirl]

Wow what a great and inspiring thread. Right now I'm a member of the "rat race" and I'm heading back to school in the Spring. Yet I dream of the cabin in the woods with a small life and living/working only for myself. I really liked the down to earth advice of living right now the way you'd like to live in the future. It really puts things into perspective.

On the cell phone- I've actually been going back and forth on whether or not to get a smartphone. Part of me likes the convenience factor but the majority of me is just so leery of been so connected. I don't carry my cell phone on me 24/7 and I don't get a lot of calls on it either but I do get the "I've been calling you, why aren't you carrying your phone?" It annoys me to pieces. I liked what Jo just said about "I own the phone. It doesn't own me." Those are words to live by.

[Hedgehog Mtn]

We just went ahead and did it. We bought the land with the shell of a cabin on it (so nothing inside....no walls, stairs, floors etc) and took it one day at a time.

I do have a blackberry but the closest phone/cable/electric lines are well over a mile away. Right now I don't have a car (DH is replacing the head gasket and it just needs to be put back on but it keeps getting knocked lower down the must do list) and there is zero police /fire /rescue option for me here with 4 kids....and #5 due Monday. He does have a pickup so he could drive me to services if needed.

After 8 years we feel a strong pull to go further out....like the Alaskan Bush. This isn't remote enough.

[BedHead]

Another member of the rat race loving this thread. I yearn to live off the grid, so much some days that my heart literally aches. But here I sit in my office with very little to do but getting paid well, emailing my husband who sits in his office, texting with my kids who all 3 have cell phones and are all at home hooked up to one electronic or another. I hate the way I am living but have no idea how to change it.

My main stumbling block is the fact that no one else in my family shares my dream. They all want to keep running the rat race and can't envision this simpler life I seek. I would have to leave them all behind and I can't do that.