Originally Posted by mom_of_steele
Okay so I really need to vent. My boys are 6 weeks old now. I thought it was going to get better...I spent most of the day crying today. Maybe I'm just still having postpartum depression problems but I don't think I can do this! I want to breastfeed them...but it is still so hard! It shouldn't be this hard at this point right? I am still in so much pain. One of the boys has a really shallow latch and it doesn't seem to matter what I do...it kills to nurse him. And then, he seems so lethargic all the time (is only in the 4th percentile for weight) that he only nurses for like 10 minutes...only gets like an ounce in and then is hungry right after that but I am hurting too bad to nurse again so I give him a bottle of pumped milk (which makes me feel guilty). Then, the other boy spits up SO much all the time that he gets hungry again really quickly and I am either too sore to nurse again or don't have any milk left. Other than constantly nursing and/or pumping, burping and changing diapers...I don't have time to do anything! I haven't finished the laundry in the last 6 weeks. I have no clean dishes in my cupboards, no clean pans...you can't even see the counters in my bathroom...I don't live like this! I'm not one to ask for help, especially because my older sisters and their husbands (and even my mom) seem to think that it is no harder to have two babies then one...and that they have all had it just as hard. None of them have ever offered to come to my house and help me clean or hold babies so I can clean. And my body is so disgusting I can't stand it. I just can't do it. What do I do? I can't do it...and my husband is only gone 3 hours a day. I don't let him go anywhere cause I'm afraid to be alone with the 3 kids cause one of the babies is always crying and then my 2 year old tries to poke his eyes out while I'm nursing the other one. Does it get better? Why are my babies so difficult to nurse?! Two shouldn't be this hard...how on earth do you moms with triplets do it?!
Listen mama, I know its hard. You hear that if "you are doing it right" your breasts won't hurt. Well that is B***S***. I kept a journal of my first year with my first set of twins. I had breast pain for over two months. I treated for yeast, I used Lansinoh like crazy, it still hurt. I had smallish babies and it took a while for their mouths and latches to improve.
Please listen to me. You can only have one job. Feeding the babies. Only job. You can't do any housework and barely any cooking. My husband (and my mother who pitched in on weekends) did all the cleaning and pretty much all the cooking for 9 months. That was when I finally go my head above water. You need to ask for help. I got help from my family and my community. People brought precooked meals. People came and cleaned my house to give my husband a break. You are expecting way too much of yourself. I have worked with a midwife in the Amish community. Even those hardworking ladies get two months off after birthing twins. An older teen girl is sent to the house to do all her work and care of other children. You are six weeks postpartum and while the depression is certainly probably clinical as well, part of it is that you are not resting because you are trying to do a billion things you should not be doing.
First, get your refluxing baby to the pediatrician and insist upon some reflux medication so he can keep more of your precious breastmilk in longer. Next, STOP feeling guilty about the need to give pumped milk. I had to do this for about seven weeks to get my smaller twin up to speed. I didn't want to add to our latch problems so my husband and I did the feedings with medicine syringes. You may find they do okay with bottles, I did not. But regardless, who cares how it gets in them right now. You have to get it in them whatever way you can. Milk production, milk letdown, all of this is related to a well nourished, hydrated and rested mama. My husband left me a prepared breakfast before he went to work each morning. On weekends he would make egg salad, salmon salad, and fruit salad and green salads. He made sure there were pitas and cut veggies so I could easily scoop food for myself on the run to feed again. We used paper plates, etc. for months to keep down the kitchen mess. Nobody dusted anything. Floors were vacuumed by my mother once a week. Hubby cleaned bathrooms once a week.
I coslept in a big megabed. We lashed the frames of a twin and queen together so I could have both babies cosleeping and would breastfeed laying down and rolling from one to the other. Get one latched, fall asleep, get another latched fall asleep. It worked. This didn't happen right away because I had all the challenges you had with breastfeeding and didn't know as many things to do. But you can get there!
Don't change diapers at night unless they are poopy or the baby is bothered by it. Don't burp when laying down to nurse unless the baby is fussy. If they go back to sleep--they don't have bad gas. Your reflux-y one will likely need burping until you can get that under control. Try eliminating dairy and see if it improves. It did for my one twin. I was off dairy six months till he outgrew it. Other things to try to eliminate (one at a time to see effects) are wheat, soy and eggs.
For the shallow latch baby call LLL and find out who a good doc to evaluate if there is a shallow frenulum that needs clipping to enable him to take in more nipple. If your nipples are on the flatter side you may need to get some breast shells to wear in your bra in the daytime. Mine were flat and that contributed to the long term problems I had.
For the sore nipples you need to get a prescription for Jack Newman's All Purpose Nipple Ointment. It must be made at a compounding pharmacy. See his website and direct your care provider to it at www.drjacknewman.com
. You can also take homeopathic castor equi 30C and calendula 30C for cracked bleeding and sore abraised nipples. Take a pump break every other feeding and don't put them to the breast to give them a break. And a tip I used one bad early week that and LC told me was to put some baby anbesol (for teething pain) on my nipple to deaden the pain every now and then to give myself a break.
I understand how you feel. I had toe curling, tears streaming down my face pain for two solid months. We were to poor to buy formula. I had to succeed so I just kept doing it. And then one day all the problems were gone, the babies nursed easily, I got more sleep because the cosleeping and latching in bad made it easier to mother them. And I nursed them for 3 1/2 years. And I loved it. I teach childbirth and breastfeeding now and I tell my students that the books don't describe all of us and that breastfeeding is bliss--just not right away. Let go of the guilt, get the help you need, use things to aid breast healing, keep going mama. In the long run it makes having twins easier to take care of!!!!!