or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Reality Check please
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Reality Check please

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
DH and I are very unhappy about something that happened today, however, I'm not sure if I'm having a momma bear reaction or if this is reasonable LOL! Please let me have your thoughts on this as well.

DD (5 yrs old) has been taking piano lessons for about 3 months through the local YMCA. She's been doing very well, and really enjoys them. The lessons are pretty competitively priced, we don't have a huge discount going through the Y or anything like that. About a month ago we received a note in the mail about an upcoming recital for the piano students to take place on December 6. That Tuesday at her lessons, her teacher gave us the same note with the date of December 5. We were finally able to confirm that the recital was today, December 5. At her last lesson the teacher whent through what to expect and how to act, reminding dd to try to look professional (in a very kid friendly way, she didn't pressure her or anything). They practiced how to arrive at and leave the piano, how to bow or curtsey after her performance, etc. She showed me the list and commented that she had given the head of the program a list of her students 2 weeks prior, and that she had been assured they would be on there. The instructor had a conflict for the recital and would not be there.

Today was the recital. We get there and are handed the programs. DD is NOT on there. It appeared there were other children performing that were not on the program as well, though I cannot be sure. They went in no order whatsoever and half the kids were playing different selections. Generally the way it went was they'd call the child up, the child would play their song, the child would then come out to smile at the audience, receive a certificate for performing, walk back to their seat, then the next child would be called. So we go through almost everyone and the person leading it (NOT the head of the program for some reason) says that concludes their piano performances. Um, no, it didn't as DD had not gone. SO I spoke up and said they forgot one, and she was apologetic and called dd up to do her piece. While that was going on, one of the instructors realized a no-show had shown up late, so she'd go after DD. Not a problem! DD played her song, and did very well. Before she could even get around the piano to greet the audience, the instructor with the late arrival goes bustling up the asle with the other student, literally pushes past DD, and started announcing her student - all before DD even got all the way around the piano!! (We have it on tape lol). She didn't get the chance to curtsy or even smile at the audience as the other child was already playing.

It was very disorganized to say the least. This is NOT how I remember my piano recitals going! I felt like DD was not treated well at all. After the other child's performance the lady running it came over to get DD's name so she could have a certificate made up for her like the other children received. DH and I are pretty unhappy about the whole thing, to the point where I'm considering finding a different place for her to take lessons. I doubt the cost would be much different.

Would you be upset?
post #2 of 17
Yes I would be annoyed because I dislike chaos. I was heavily involved in music as a child, but first through private instructors and then through my school program. I don't know how program like the Y works for lessons, but my recitals never, ever went that way (and I think my instructor would've passed out if they had). It really sounds like there's no communication and/or too many people involved in planning with no one clearly in charge.

At our Y, most of the instructors for things are either volunteers (coaches) or students who work a couple of hours a week, so not really "staff." Perhaps if you decide to stay and that's how yours is, you could volunteer to coordinate the next recital. I know our Y offers good programs, but they're always in need of volunteers for the extra stuff.
post #3 of 17
I'd be cross about that, and also really struggle to find a way of complaining without being a "pushy" mum. I'm confused, because I'm a Brit and don't get how the Y works, but if this is a professional school/organisation I'd write and state that I was very unhappy with the way your dd was treated. (never know, their might be a discount in next terms classes in it for you!)
post #4 of 17
if its a big deal to you, then it is important. This is a huge indication of how disorganized this place is and you sound like you would be more comfortable somewhere else.

Personally, I would be annoyed, but I don't think I'd get all Mama Bear over it. Hard to say as my baby still under a year.
post #5 of 17
Yes I would be upset. I really dislike not knowing what's going on and so does my kid so that whole situation would have made both of us tense and unhappy.

If the regular teacher is a good fit for your child though, I would consider whether the regular interaction with her was worth the unfortunate disorganization of the recital. How would you feel about skipping future recitals? Are they important to you/your daughter? Would that solve the problem?

If recitals are important then I would speak with the director of the Y and ask if that's typical and whether they plan to do a better job next time. Then I'd make my decision on whether to stay or find new lessons based on that conversation and how strongly I felt about the recitals being better run.

Catherine
post #6 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
Personally, I would be annoyed, but I don't think I'd get all Mama Bear over it. Hard to say as my baby still under a year.
I agree. I'd be annoyed, but it's not worth really staying upset over. If your DD likes the teacher, I'd probably ask if she does private lessons not through the YMCA. If she does, she probably organizes her own recitals for her private students. Otherwise, I'd find a different private teacher. I think recitals are important part of music lessons, so I wouldn't just skip the recitals.

I don't think I'd bother complaining, except perhaps to comment to the head of the program and/or your DD's piano teacher that the recital was very disorganized, kids skipped/left out of the program.
post #7 of 17
I'd complain politely to the head but nothing beyond that. They realize they screwed up, she has already tried to correct it (brought her up to perform, is making a certificate) although not as smoothly as you'd like.

Honestly, it's the Y - I wouldn't expect professionalism in any of their programs. Ime - they offer the services but they are rarely top notch.
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by hermionesmum View Post
I'd be cross about that, and also really struggle to find a way of complaining without being a "pushy" mum. I'm confused, because I'm a Brit and don't get how the Y works, but if this is a professional school/organisation I'd write and state that I was very unhappy with the way your dd was treated. (never know, their might be a discount in next terms classes in it for you!)
I have never lived anywhere where there was a YMCA, however I have gotten the impression they are basically like a community center. Classes are cheap and well non-professional.
post #9 of 17
It might be worthwhile to check out whether this is typical - maybe from your dd's teacher or another parent. It may have been an unusualally bad recital. The first year my daughter did ballet, the school used a new format for the show, thinking it might be simpler. It didn't work out at all, so they went back to the old format after that. In that case it wasn't really reflective of their general level of professionalism.
post #10 of 17
id be irritated, and maybe talk to the teacher, then find another program if the next recital goes the same
post #11 of 17
I would definitely complain - nicely, of course. Like others have said, it sounds like they realized they made a mess of it, and they may learn from their mistakes on the next one.

That said, you sound like you do like her piano teacher and how your daughter is learning so far. That's more important than the disarray of the recitals at this age. I went through 13 years of piano lessons as a kid, and while I had some really great teachers, I also had a really lousy one too (my last, and the reason I quit). I wouldn't switch to a different program until your DD is older and has progressed and you know it's worth the time, money and commitment to a more advanced teacher.

Like I said, though, do politely draw their attention to the fact that the disarray of the recital doesn't fly with you. I'm sure they'll apologize and hopefully try to ensure that doesn't happen again.
post #12 of 17
Wow, that didn't sound very organized at all, what a shame your daughter was overlooked like that. I would definitely mention it to them. I hope your DD didn't notice anything, you must be very proud of her for doing so well under the circumstances.
post #13 of 17
I'd be annoyed. As a professional musician I'd be wondering why your daughter's instructor couldn't make it--that's the thing that really stands out to me. In a situation such as this, with multiple instructors, you'd think they'd schedule the events far enough out that all of the teachers could be there, in order to support their students.

Programs and such sound like a communications breakdown; the other instructor was just rude. All of those things could be talked about, constructively. I've got to say that if your daughter really clicks with her teacher in the lessons and is learning, that's more important than how disorganized the recital was.
post #14 of 17
From your post it sounds like the people in charge knew they flubbed up and did what they could to fix the situation. I imagine the next recital will be a little more organized, at least I would hope they would learn from their mistakes. The important thing (IMO) is how your daughter feels about it. Did the disorganization shake her up or make her feel anxious or nervous? That, for me, would determine whether or not I would bring it up with the teacher.
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by claras_mom View Post
I'd be annoyed. As a professional musician I'd be wondering why your daughter's instructor couldn't make it--that's the thing that really stands out to me. In a situation such as this, with multiple instructors, you'd think they'd schedule the events far enough out that all of the teachers could be there, in order to support their students.

Programs and such sound like a communications breakdown; the other instructor was just rude. All of those things could be talked about, constructively. I've got to say that if your daughter really clicks with her teacher in the lessons and is learning, that's more important than how disorganized the recital was.
I agree with this, and I assumed the "conflict" was some kind of emergency.
post #16 of 17
I wouldn't get terribly upset, but I'd be annoyed and I'd get lessons elsewhere from now on.
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
Honestly, it's the Y - I wouldn't expect professionalism in any of their programs. Ime - they offer the services but they are rarely top notch.

Ya know, the Y where I grew up was great, but maybe your experience is more typical. It explains why I've been so frustrated with the organizational level at our current local Y.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Reality Check please