How to explain the seeming "immodesty" of allowing children to see the birth - Page 2

[gossamerwindweb]

Originally Posted by UCmamaToMany

Firstly I love passing around this little fun digital online German book of where babies come from. http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm Aside from the birth taking place in a hospital both doctor and dad are far away from the vagina when the baby comes out anyways, LOL It's just funny but child friendly in easily explaining things.

That book is adorable! Too bad it isn't in english. I would buy it!

[redmach03]

Thank you for this thread...its always great to see how other teach their children. Its actually something that hasn't really came up in our household yet. My DS is 3 and hasn't really asked about our differences or I've had to explain where babies come from yet. I am very comfortable about being naked and being naked still in front of him and he hasn't asked anything yet.

I DO plan on him being here for this birth and its so VERY important to me for my children to learn about birth and that its a natural thing since I feel so strongly about that. My DD who will be about 18months by the time this babe is born...I haven't decided if I want her there or not...I really do but I feel that she may be too much for me during labor. I have shown my son some not so graphic birth videos and told him thats how babies are born and he likes to see the little babies. I'm hoping that this will get him used to hearing the sounds we make and what happens so that he hopefully will not be frightened.

[TzippityDoulah]

I'm rather modest - I didn't want anyone there but my husband. whatsoever. no kids, no friends, nobody it's not a shame issue at all, it's just I feel inhibited if watched and i didn't want that. I don't feel inhibited with my husband b/c we created the baby together. my boy is 9 and it would freak him out totally lol. my daughter might like it, but i didn't feel comfortable,

you have to take your kids into consideration - everyone is different. how would they handle it and so forth. if your kids would be ok or happy about it and it doesn't bother you, why not?

I don't think "hey I don't want you seeing me in my most intimate moment" need any explanation to anyone, really. it should be obvious that it's a personal thing and you'll let them know if you want them there. your mom, even if she is your best friends, isn't your immediate family. I don't think it would be odd your kids would be there but not your mom.

[guest8990]

my mom, 16 yo sister, and grandmother will be at mine.. they will be at my house, but they will be occupied. i do not want ANYONE other than my husband looking at my lady parts. they know this... to be honest, they asked to come, and i couldnt be mean enough to say no.. but i made it clear that if at any point they interfered, or bothered me, they would be kicked out and left on the front porch.. i already warned everyone that when i go into transition, i will probably kick everyone out for a little quiet time.. i need quiet and concentration to deal with pain.. husband will be there, thats it.. and i prolly wont call them back in till squish is here... this is our first baby, and it leaves me wondering for future babies--how to explain to older children why mommy is being "immodest" and not to talk about mommys vajayjay and where the baby came out of to others i get that they dont have to see my lady parts.. but surely they would ask? its the elementry years i am thinking about what if i have a 5 year old, and while over at his friends house he narrates his new siblings birth? ahaha.. oh man.
anywho- i did buy some loose nighties, that were just long enough to cover when i stood up- they are loose, and comfortable, and i plan on birthing in those.. i dont like being naked infront of others either

[seattlemamma]

My children were at the birth of each sibling. The modesty issue surprisingly didn't bother them. I think that their presence at the birth made bonding with the baby so easy. I wore a bikini top and birthed in the water.
I had only the people I wanted at my birth. After all it is my birth, my child. It is not my obligation to share that with anyone. I have never been one to care much what others think. If they don't ask don't bring it up. If they do just let them know that this event is just going to be with your own little family and that you have really thought this through and feel that is in the best interest of you and the baby.
Good luck dealing with the relatives and happy birthing to you.

[MiaMama]

Having your own children at your birth is a whole different ballgame intellectually.

First of all, they already made the trip down and out of you. Your mama may have wiped your bottom, but she never had her head in your vagina. LOL. Your kids have already been there, done that.

Second of all, I only feel that modesty really applies to big kids (teenagers) and adults. Little kids just plain don't see the world the same way. I don't shower with my mom or grandma, but I DO shower with my husband and daughter (3 yo).

It's not for modesty reasons, but I only want my husband and daughter at this upcoming birth. I am also struggling with how I am going to explain that to all my potential birth-crashers.

[moonfirefaery]

I had my son there and haven't had too many people even inquire about it.

He held my hair back as I vomitted... he had the right to be there at the birth. Simple as that.

[juliettep]

I certainly wouldn't have wanted anyone but my husband with me for the birth but I guess that's just me. I'm not even sure that I would want my children there when I give birth because it seems to me a step too far. I would much prefer they saw animals giving birth to begin with, as I don't think they would like to see their mom in pain.

[JamieCatheryn]

Modesty isn't even an issue for me in front of my young kids, though I never leave the house showing my legs or cleavage or anything and didn't want extra people around for the birth. DS1 (age 3) was there for my labor with DS2 and I wanted him to have the chance to come see the birth but he was sleeping. He understood pretty well I was busy doing hard work with my belly squeezing to get his brother out.

About the "special door" controversy, isn't that what Dr Bradley called the cervix while explaining it too? The baby door. You labor, it opens, then lets the baby through. Seems accurate.