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1st Pregnancy & birth choices - Page 2

post #21 of 31
Originally Posted by FloridaBorn View Post
I have already made an appointment with a local midwifery/birth center, but as far as them taking their time to answer all my questions... well, that hasn't happened yet since my first appointment isn't until I am 15 weeks along. As a first time mom, I had ALL SORTS of questions that I have relied upon MDC and Dr. Google to answer, which I would have rather talked to a health practitioner about.
That was my experience too. First there was a waiting list (as there always is for midwives here) and then when I finally got the call that I was in, I had to wait a few weeks for an appointment- and that the first appointment was only medical history and explaining what midwives do and what my options were to make sure I was really on board. I didn't have a "real" appointment until about 15 weeks, but then every appointment was at least 30-45 min long (and I could have had more time if I needed it).

Took a long time to really get in with them, but once you're in, there's nothing else like it! ESPECIALLY for a first time mom with questions.
post #22 of 31
Originally Posted by FloridaBorn View Post
I'm only 8 weeks along and already I'm wondering/worried if it will be "OK" for me to have a homebirth.

I haven't read very many 1st time mom natural birth or home birth stories, only ones that sound like, "My first one was birth with pit and cytotec, but the second child's birth at home was marvelous!"

Well, I've never done this before... my body has never done this before. Isn't labor more difficult the first time around?

Is homebirth the right choice for me? (I know no one but me can answer that, but you know what I mean.)
You can do it! A first birth can be natural and awesome, too!

My first was partially induced (scraped the cervix + half a cervical suppository,, I think pitocin?), no anesthesia, lots of moving, moaning, squatting, just listening to my body.

Anyways, she was born in a hospital, but the one thing I took from the experience is that it's totally natural, and your body is made to do it. I intuitively labored at home and was at the hospital less than thirty minutes when she was born. It happened so fast that I was able to avoid all the monitoring and never had to lay flat on my back. BUT I had to refuse the nurses and pretty much argue through that whole thing to not be forced to lie in pain on my back.

The worst part of the whole experience (and I do feel like it was an awesome, victorious birth experience even tho at that time I never questioned that I "had" to be at the hospital), was FIGHTING the hospital staff for what I wanted whilst in the throes of pushing out a baby. The nurses actually said "well, we don't just squat in the bushes anymore" (very snottily ) when I showed up with my primal birthing style. I think that had I been there longer than the half hour I was birthing, it could have been much worse and I think that they would have "taken" something away from that experience for me.

So to a first time mom who is aware enough to question the hospital birth, I say go for it! You can do it as a homebirth. Usually your midwife will have an indication if there might be something to hitch up a homebirth, and you will know ahead of time if there are indicators saying that your more likely to need to birth in a hospital.
post #23 of 31
My first was a hospital birth and I learned from the experience that I didn't want to go that route again. I was induced with pit, but managed to labor and birth without pain meds. I listened to my body a lot and felt very empowered by what I was able to do. Annoying was all the medical people hanging about trying to tell me to wait so they could "check" me every time I felt the need to do something.

With my second, I decided that I wanted to forgo all the medical people hanging around part, and the pitocin part, and just stick with the listening to my body part.

With both births, I did not have fear about the birthing itself. The first time was probably based more naivety with a little bit of confidence thrown in there, and the second birth was due in part to hypnobabies and a firm, grounded belief in myself and my body to have a safe and empowering experience.
post #24 of 31
Originally Posted by FloridaBorn View Post

ETA: Thanks for your awesome birth story MamaJen!
post #25 of 31
the most important thing about giving birth is to feel safe - for some women this means being at home, for others it can mean being in the capable hands of medical professional.
When I started making my birth choices on my first, I wanted the best medical care possible. As time went on, and I became more confident in my body, I started to become concerned about the implications of a managed birth. I would have been too scared at 8 weeks to book a home birth but around 30 weeks I really wished I had.
Where I am, you can book a homebirth with midwives that employed by the hospital. The same midwives provide another service that allows you to spend the minimum amount of time in hospital with your antenatal care and postnatal care taking place in your home. For me it is a great choice, because even if I chicken out of the homebirth at the first contraction, I can opt to go to hospital and still have continuity of care.
I don't know if there is any similar scheme available to you? But it might be worth checking around to see what options you can choose now that give you most wriggle-room later. Here, the homebirth slots book up quickly, and whatever kind of care you choose you need to move fast. It's unfortunate because first time mums end up choosing in a hurry without really understanding all the choices.
post #26 of 31
I had my first at home. Here is Asher's birth story. For me, after doing a little research on labor management, I knew that was not the way I wanted to go. I wanted to be free to be in my own house, do whatever I wanted as a comfort measure, and not have to fight with anyone to ensure the birth I wanted. I know a lot of women have really long first labors, but mine was 8 hours start to finish, and I attribute a lot of that quickness to being relaxed, unafraid, and on my own turf. I also have to say that my labor really wasn't painful. Sure, 2 hours of pushing sucked, but othewise, my contractions were always manageable and I've had period cramps that hurt worse than my labor. I also accredit having a homebirth with the easy labor. I also paid more than three grand out of pocket for my birth, when a hospital birth would have only been $200 total. But for me, it was worth every penny. There are no "do-overs" with birth, and I think you should do whatever you feel is going to get you the best outcome. For some women, birth is just about getting that baby out, regardless of the process. But personally, the journey of how my son got here was paramount to me.
post #27 of 31
I had my first baby at home. I am so glad I did because with positioning and the length it took, I'm sure I could have been talked into a c-section in the hospital--And now I would be battling for a VBAC.
post #28 of 31
When you are reading birth stories, understand where they were planning to birth FIRST. If they chose a high intervention location and provider then it only makes sense they experienced many interventions. Occasionally, there will be someone who plans low intervention and it ends up high intervention, but not all that often! I could tell you about my first birth (hospital with OBGYN), but it isn't because it was my first baby that we had all sorts of difficulty.... it has more to do with where I chose to receive care.

I have helped many first time moms have home or birth center births and I have had no additional concerns from them being first time moms. I haven't seen labor be all that much more difficult on the first time moms either.

If I could do it all over again, I would have gone with a homebirth for my first baby.
post #29 of 31
Originally Posted by AimeeandBrian View Post
I had my first baby at home. I am so glad I did because with positioning and the length it took, I'm sure I could have been talked into a c-section in the hospital--And now I would be battling for a VBAC.

I planned a HB with my first and I'm so glad I did. Even though I ended up transferring to the hospital during labor. Given how long it took I'm sure I would have been pressured to have a C-section if I'd been in the hospital from start to finish. Think of it this way, first time labors can be longer. Do you really want to be in the hospital with a time limit if you're "unlucky" enough to have a long labor? Or would you rather be at home, where you're comfortable, where people aren't coming in and out all the time bugging you, with a MW who encourages and supports you the whole time?
post #30 of 31
I had a planned HB with my first and we're currently planning on a second (sometime very soon!)

We went with a HB because I had heard too many dissatisfied first time birth stories. I knew two moms intimately before I had my first baby, both had c-sections and both had to fight tooth and nail to VBAC. One friend lives in the UK so she was throwing words like "Midwife" around before I had any preconceived notion of what that meant. Thankfully, things like MWs, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, co-cleeping, etc were on my pre baby radar.

When I got pregnant the first time, I started down the typical path - my first purchase was "What to Expect," dutifully made an appointment at a Women's Health center where they "have midwives!!!" but where I would be seen by an OB, and not one of my choosing. The more I read, the most I realized pregnancy and birth were not a sickness, disease, or pathology. I started to trust my body. It was a pretty easy choice to make, and I thought it was *highly* annoying when people would look at me like I had 3 heads when I said I was planning to HB my first.

You come from a long line of successful birthing women. Have faith in that.
post #31 of 31
For my first -- and only birth (I'm 45) --I went with the hospital bc my DH was worried I was too old (43). If it were just me I'd have done it at home. It was an easy labor and a great birth, and it wouldve been fine at home. I spent almost the whole time at home anyway.
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