2nd C-Section -- Help Me Be Okay With It :)

[lovinge]

Hi everyone,

I had to have an emergency c-section with my first baby in August of '07. They do not do VBAC's anywhere close to where I live, and I'm not pursuing traveling for a VBAC -- I just feel a second c-section is the right choice because of the reasons I had a c-section the first time.

Anyway, I had a very difficult time with the first section. I had been in labor, where they turned my epidural off (yeah, I know, I wasn't "crunchy" back then...young and ill-informed) because I couldn't feel to push.

Once they determined I had to have a c-section, they rushed me to the OR and did the "poke" test to see if the epidural was still working. I was basically in some sort of shock/confusion and said I thought it was okay --- it wasn't.

I could feel the c-section...more than just the tugging they say you're supposed to feel. I got to see my baby out of the corner of my eye, from several feet away (he was completely fine), and off he went, for over an hour.

As they stitched me up, they let MIL and FIL gush over the baby, and I didn't get to see him until later on.

The trauma of having a "surprise" c-section, feeling it, not being able to TOUCH my baby, and having others hold and see him first really affected me for a long time.

So, what I would like are reassuring stories from people who have had c-sections, and how you felt okay about it. I'm scared (not because I don't think it's the right choice for me) because of my last experience.

Can I make them let me touch the baby or is that a no-no until I'm closed up? How can I prepare mentally for what I know is coming?

Happy c-section stories would be much appreciated

[Chryseis]

There is actually a really good thread in Birth & Beyond that has some positive induction/c-section stories that might be what you're looking for.

[megviolet]

It might be a good idea to cross-post this into birth and beyond, or even in healing birth trauma.

My best friend had an emergency c-section and it went well for her. She wasn't happy that it had to happen, but the only thing that she said was unpleasant about it was that the morphine they gave her afterward made her itchy and sleepy, and her husband and parents spent the first hours with her baby instead of her.

Other than that, her daughter's birth was less traumatic for all of them than MOST of the vaginal births that my friends (and I) have had.

As for feeling ok about it, have you had any counseling or anything to deal with the trauma of your experience? Finding some closure about it all will no doubt help you face the next c-section with the best possible point of view.
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[Eeyore35]

My section was emergent, but not emergeny. i hadn't had an epi,so I had a spinal for the c-section, ad it worked great. I was able ot hold my baby shortly after she was born. After that I went to recovery,and i didn't see her for 2 hours. That sucked,no 2 ways about it. If I were to have another child, I' d ask ahead of time about being able to nurse in recovery.

My recovery was pretty bad, but people I know who have had planned c-sections say the recovery is WAY easier.

I would tell the OB about your previous experience with the epi. I was really freaked out that the spinal wouldn't take properly,ad I was execting htem to check,ad they didn't. I was getting pretty close to full blown panic,when the doctor told the nurse he'd made the first insicion,it was time to get my mom in there. So then I knew it worked. So ask him to check it out,and let you know that it worked.

[dillonandmarasmom]

One of the reasons I chose to go with the section this time (after 1 emergency and the second scheduled), is due to the SOFT program at my hospital. There will be a lactation consultant in the OR, along with a baby nurse. Their jobs are to get baby to breast, or atleast to skin (either mine or DH's) right away. Baby will accompany DH and I to recovery, along with LC. They won't bathe baby for at least 4 hours to give us time to bond skin to skin, and even then, it will be done in our room. These reasons, along with myu past experiences and desire to have my tubes clamped, all led to my choice to have the c-sec.

I hope to post a warm, beautiful birth story soon...

So, perhaps you could ask about these possibilities?? At the very least, you can request that your partner be hte only person to hold and be with baby until you are out of recovery.

Good luck mama. I can really relate to your experience.

[sharr610]

I'd check into working with a doula and writing a detailed birth plan. I had a non emergency c/s with my first birth. While it was far from the expected homebirth and there are things I would do differently, having my midwives there in a doula like capacity was lifesaving in so many ways. They got my son to me and breast ASAP, they fought for humane care...it was awesome. I only wish I'd had a birth plan for it all to express some things I would have liked to have done differently.
It sounds like a lot wasn't handled ideally for your first birth. You need to be in a much more friendly environment next time.

[LemonPie]

I've only had one c-section (an emergency with #3 for placental abruption), but I'd had a 'feeling' my whole pregnancy that I would end up with one. I had DH under strict instructions that NOBODY except him and necessary medical personnel were allowed to hold the baby before I did.

He was awesome and followed my instructions. My mom is an OB nurse at the hospital where I delivered, so she got to come into the nursery while they bathed her, etc and he didn't let her hold the baby until I had. I was under general anesthesia so I was asleep for a bit after she was born. They brought her to me in recovery though and I don't think she and I were seperated for the rest of the stay. . . maybe just for her hearing exam, and I'm not sure but I think maybe DH went with her for that.

My advice would be that if you are going to go for a scheduled section this time, ask your family to stay away until you and your DH have had a chance to spend some time together with the baby. Perhaps they can stay with your older child and bring him up later in the day.

[Chryseis]

I'll go ahead and re-post my stories here. My daughter was an unexpected c-section after a relatively long labor and over 3 hours of pushing in all manner of positions. It was very stress-free and non-emergent. My doctor and I agreed that my daughter was stuck and that she would do a c-section.

I had a wonderful doctor, great nurses and an amazing anesthesiologist. My hands were never tied down, the baby was weighed and handed directly to my husband. He carried her into the recovery room and she nursed right away. My daughter did not leave my side for several hours until my husband walked her down to get a bath. The first night after the surgery was rough, but that was more from labor exhaustion than the surgery. My recovery overall was very simple. I was able to carry and take care of my 11 pound daughter the next day. By a week out I felt mostly back to normal.

My second c-section was scheduled. We had been planning a VBAC, but due to some severe Midwest flooding and lack of labor onset I had to face the choice that I could either schedule the section (and by "schedule" I mean my doctor got a hold of me at 3:30 in the afternoon and asked if I could come in by 5:00 before they closed their OR), or face the possibility of going to a different hospital to deliver. I actually chose the c-section. This c-section was much like the first (except faster--I apparently heal well w/no adhesions and not much scar tissue). I went into the OR at a few minutes before 7:00, got my spinal, my son was born at 7:13 and I was back in the recovery room nursing my son by 7:30. Again, my son never left my side until my husband took him for a bath. This recovery was ridiculously fast. I was up and walking late that night. By the next day I felt fantastic, never had any need for any of the pain medication.

I am actually going to schedule a c-section for this pregnancy. I'm certain that I could change hospitals, seek out a VBA2C if I really felt like it, but I just don't. I know this isn't a popular decision, but I feel like this is the "known" recovery for me at this point. Also, it makes getting my tubes tied much easier.

I'd definitely recommend double-checking your hospital's procedures for a planned section and possibly work out a birth plan. I'd also talk to other people who have had planned sections at the hospital to find out what their experiences have been. We have two major hospitals in our town, and 2 others about 20 minutes away. I know people who have had C/S at 3 of them. All of our experiences were widely different. Some people didn't get their babies right away, others had their hands tied down, etc. These things can definitely change your outlook.

[Realrellim]

I had an emergency c-section, but it was fine. I hadn't had any pain medication before that, so my spinal was quite effective. The worst part was that they given me terb to stop labor and stabilize DD, so my arms were shaking throughout the surgery (and for a good hour in recovery), but I just focused on my breathing and staying calm, much like I was during contractions. Overall, it went faster and both the surgery and recovery was easier than I expected. My only real disappointment about the c-sec was that I couldn't hold her. Or rather, perhaps that's a disappointment about the terb: if my arms hadn't been shaking so badly from the terb, I would have asked but I didn't dare try to hold my tiny little newborn with uncontrollable shaking. OTOH, before the terb her heart was practically stopping with each contraction, so without it they probably would have put me under, or else she would have come out in worse shape.

My understanding is that with a repeat c-sec, you can plan more stuff, like being able to hold your new baby, and even BF on the table. Also, you might be able to request music or bring your iPod or something like that too. I know a fair number of women who had really nice repeat c-secs and got to do many of those things.

I'm hoping to have a VBAC this time, but I figure it things don't go that way, at least I can get my tubes tied and get that out of the way.

[Calee]

While I am personally going to have a VBAC this time, I had a much better first c-section than you! It IS possible.

I agree that even for a c-section, a doula would be VERY helpful.

After my son was born, they IMMEDIATELY brought him to my head. (Not wrapped up yet or anything). My arms were not strapped down, and they put him up to my face. I was able to touch him and kiss him, and we have several pictures. Then my DH went over to the warmer with him while they did his APGAR, weight and wrapped him. Then they gave him to DH who brought him back to me again (still in OR).

DH carried him (walking next to me) to the recovery room. While in recovery, my arms were a little numb, but I told the nurse I wanted to breastfeed. She got me situated and helped me hold him and I was able to. The baby never left my side until MUCH later. He was with me the whole time in recovery, and then I held him in my arms when they wheeled me to my room. My parents DID come into the recovery room, but it was at our request. Otherwise, no other family or friends except for me and DH would have held him during that time. Later, with my consent, he and DH went to the nursery together for 30 minutes or so.

It can be so much better than you had it. While I personally don't want to do it surgically again, I do feel I have MUCH to be thankful for in the way that our family was treated. I recommend a detailed birth plan including after the baby is born. An advocate would be great too, since you will be drugged up!

[Ashes]

I am sort of in the same boat as you. I had an emergency c-section after 42 hrs of labour and 2 hrs of pushing. I had an epi (I knew I wanted one) and it turns out the baby's head was in the brow presentation (very hard if not impossible to give birth to vaginally for a first time mom). I was really sad about the c-section too but came to terms with it later.

Now I am having another one scheduled. I don't want to go through what I went through again. I don't even want to be in labour for 24 hours.

The options are:

1.)VBAC successfully done without too long of a labour (#1 choice for me and many others) Most safe

2.) Scheduled c-section. Second most safe.

3.) Unsuccessful VBAC (similar to first pregnancy). Risky and the worst outcome for all.

So in order to avoid #3, I chose #1.

This is not a thread for someone who wishes to have a VBAC though...

I have told my friends who want a VBAC that that is fine, but that I am not one of their great support people for it. I am not against VBAC's by any means, I just don't want to attempt it myself.

[cinderella08]

No advice, but I'm a past c-section mama and had to offer hugs.

[Mamatoto2]

Personally, I think that the most trauma/upset comes from unmet expectations. If the birth looks very different from your expectations, that can be difficult to come to terms with. If you can make peace with the birth that you are likely to have ahead of time I think that it is less emotionally damaging.

My second was an emergency c-section because she was transverse breech. We knew that she was in that position and worked very hard to get her to turn, but we also knew that if she didn't turn, a C-S was the only safe option. When my water broke and she was still transverse, I knew that I was having a C-S and my only real concern was for her/my well-being and I knew what that was going to look like (C-S) so I wasn't as afraid. By contrast, my first birth (MW-assisted water birth) was immediately followed by a major hemorrhage, blood transfusion, second hemorrhage 2 days later, another transfusion, surgery, another transfusion, prolonged hospital stay, etc. and was in all very traumatic because we were so emotionally unprepared for a birth experience that was such a departure from our plan.

With this baby I will also be having a C-S, which I knew would be the case even before I had #2. With her spine-up transverse breech position, I needed to have a classical incision with DD so I knew no VBACS for me. That said, I've had complications with this pregnancy since 8 weeks gestation and have been on bed rest since week 15 so I have been more focused on growing a healthy baby than worried about how the baby will enter into the world. I am totally at peace with the C-section and I have reached the point where I can very clearly distinguish between one's ability to be an amazing mama and one's ability to be an amazing pregnant woman/natural birther. Being less than stellar at one does not need to define the other.

[momz3]

Since I was like a zombie during my cesareans, I can't remember everything, but I remember being able to see and touch them WHILE being sewed up. I even got to hold my daughter while being wheeled back to recovery. Some hospitals do it differently. At the hospital where I will be delivering this baby, you have to go to a special recovery area with other patients, so the baby won't be able to come with me until I've been monitored and go back to my room...

I am going for my fourth this spring and nervous even though I've done it before, so I know the anxiety you are feeling.

[christianmomoflots]

I haven't read all the posts for apologies for repeating any info.

I am pregnant with my 7th baby and my 4th c/s. My 1st C/S was a forced scheduled C/S. It was a horrible experiance due to the OB and hospital I delivered in. I was accused of being addicted to pain killers and so I refused all future pain killers, leaving me in severe pain for 4 days.

I found another hosptial and OB for my next pregnancy and yes I was fearful. However they were sweet, caring, and made sure my pain was under control. I am looking forward to going back there for my 4th C/S.

My advice is to find a care provider who can help you deal with your issues. Hopefully making the birth of your next child an enjoyable experiance.