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Hostility towards strollers - Page 7

post #121 of 182
I love, love, love our strollers! When Tyr was an infant (if I wasn't wearing him) we used his infant seat on the stroller...this was much more convenient than unwrapping a sleeping baby to put him in a carrier in Northern Ontario frigid winter air. I regularly wore him until about 18m. But we also had/have a BOB Revolution that I love. I could push it one handed through snow and easily steer it in the stores. We also have a Combi umbrella type that was great but as he is heavier it is much more cumbersome to move...yesterday we picked up the City Micro (Baby Jogger). At 3 he still rides in the stroller (unbuckled for in and out ease) so he can nap if he wants. We are out and about all the time and no way am I carrying a sleeping 3y/o around while shopping.
post #122 of 182
honestly I just don't shop places that involve people with strollers. it is impossible to get to what you need around those things. I had a stroller but it was considerably smaller than whay most people are pushing.
post #123 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
Right after my c-section, nope, I couldn't carry my little 5 lb baby around while I shopped and tried to keep up with a three year old. And plus, why should I wake her up and make her scream for the whole trip when I can leave her in the infant carrier/stroller and she will sleep happily the whole time?
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post #124 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
honestly I just don't shop places that involve people with strollers. it is impossible to get to what you need around those things. I had a stroller but it was considerably smaller than whay most people are pushing.
Where do you shop then? Also, do you avoid places with shopping carts? I find those much more difficult to navigate around then any stroller I've come across.
post #125 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
. Well then maybe it's that I just don't see this stuff and don't care what others think. I grew up 2 hours away.. granted my parents took us there once... but I have never heard this before nor have I run into it in the North Bay.
That's cause the North Bay is where all the normal people who don't hate children moved to!

I would just like to state that this thread has inspired me to go shopping for the most SUV-like double stroller possible for when the next baby makes her appearance.
post #126 of 182
I do not own a stroller any more. BUt with dd1 we did for awhile. I think it is more of a case of people just being generally obnoxious. If you won't move over for a stroller you probably wouldn't even if i was by myself and needed to get by. Same thing if you have a stroller and run over my foot, etc.
post #127 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post
I was just reading an article about this, about two months ago, and it really stuck with me. I wish I remembered where I found it.

The article was basically about how traditionally women aren't allowed to take up space, and the animosity towards women with strollers is all about that. How if people see a guy with a stroller, they think "aw, what an awesome dad taking his kid out!" but a woman with a stroller is "taking up too much space" or "entitled." Because women should be in the kitchen, out of sight, and children should be invisible.

I dunno, it kid of struck a chord with me. Some very good points were made, I thought. On the surface it was kind of weird, but the more I think about it, the more I think maybe there's something to it.

I haven't read the rest of the thread, but I totally think this is the case.

Even before kids, I had this problem. For example, sitting next to a slender man on an airplane. I'm not a small woman. He's there taking up all this space and I'm doing my best to not feel like I'm a spilling over right. IN that experience, I decided to play like he does, and spread my legs out wide and took up as much space as I can. And you know what, that freaks people out, a woman taking up space as if she's entitiled to the space she's in (or worse, she thinks she's as entitled as the nearby man! gasp shock horror!)!

Phooey on the haters, seriously. Sometimes you need a stroller.
post #128 of 182
I have never been glared at. But I only very rarely take a stroller anywhere. I have one, but I usually babywear or totally forget to throw it in the car.

Maybe it's just my experience, but younger people-middle school to college age are actually the nicest when it comes to kids. I can guarantee they will hold a door, give a smile while I'm bf instead of a glare, or be alright when my kid falls on them. Maybe it's location? Though I don't see how that'd be different. The middle generation seems to be rudest about things.

And I have been rammed with strollers, before. I just don't think many stores are very stroller or wheelchair accessible. That's the only times I've gotten weird looks in stores. Especially Target and Walmart-you can't even get through the clothes sections with a cart!!!
post #129 of 182
I'm going to be the odd one out here and say: I love umbrella strollers! DD is three and we're on our third, and probably last one. We don't have a car and navigating subways and buses can be challenging with anything larger than an umbrella (although I do see people doing it).

We wore DD in a carrier as long as we could, but DH and I are both lightweights and it got to the point where we just couldn't carry DD anymore. My only issue with huge strollers is when I literally have to jump into the street as one of the SUV stroller moms/dads comes plowing towards us. This is especially prevelant in some of the higher income parts of the city.

Personally, I find there is a huge intolerance of children in general...whether they are walking or in a stroller. The other day, DD and I were in a subway station and I was trying to keep DD from touching the dirty ground. Some lady with cane from across the platform shouted at me: "You should teach her not to come near to people with canes!" We weren't even near her. In irritation (and probably inappropriately) I mumbled back that she should focus on the muggers, rapists and murderers who were probably scoping her out. Bad, I know....but tired of the unsolicited advice and abuse!
post #130 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by pragmaticme View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by tankgirl73
But when we're out at a park or a store or wherever, and there are 100 parents with babies and toddlers, and 98 of them are in strollers and only 2 are in slings, then as a GENERAL view I can fairly safely deduce that MOST of them were NOT carefully decided in that manner... they were just stuck into strollers because babywearing (or other options) is just not on their radar. Kids BELONG in strollers, where you don't have to interact with them as much.
This sort of smacks of "if you were as well informed as me...you would do as I do". I think it's great people babywear - we sometimes wear the girls when my husband and I have the luxury of being able to go out for a walk together. I'm not sure why anyone cares how other people transport their babes. Strollers are great, babywearing is great. Two options, equally valid, in fact there are probably other options that haven't even occurred to me. Do what suits you.
I agree.

I like babywearing, but there are definitely times when the stroller is a better option for me... like those days when it's 104 degrees outside, when I have a baby in a "grabby" mood, or when I know I'm going to be carrying stuff other than the baby or chasing after one of my older kids.

And who says that you don't have to interact with babies if they're in a stroller? I'm going to venture to guess that the parents that wouldn't interact with a baby in a stroller wouldn't interact with one in a sling either.
post #131 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I'll admit, I have a problem with strollers. Too many of them are 'cadillacs' - huge things that have shocks and off-road tires that don't belong in stores. And parents are careless with them. I love children, but if there's a double stroller in the middle of the aisle of a crowded restroom, I'm going to curse the parents under my breath.

If more people used smaller strollers that were a single person wide and didn't take up a good portion of close areas, I don't think there'd be much of a problem with it. But it's the behemoths that make people groan - especially during the busy shopping season and the already crowded areas.
This.

I used a stroller for walks in the park or around my neighborhood, but wouldn't have wanted to inconvenience others by trying to bring them in the library or shopping stores. If it annoys me, I imagine it annoys others. And I didn't mind carrying dd or stinking her in a sling. Now she can walk holding my hand or sit in a store provided cart or I will still carry her, and yes, she is H.E.A.V.Y., but the alternative just doesn't appeal to me.

How-ever, I would never say anything to a person with a stroller or let the door slam on you, how rude!
I actually find the opposite of what the OP is talking about, I find this entitled feeling often times from stroller users, like, "get out of my way, can't you see I have this stroller with a child in it!"
post #132 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom View Post
My biggest issue are those jogging strollers with big "all weather"wheels that don't have a turning radius. Hello. it is a JOGGING stroller not a meander around the mall/grocery store/etc stroller. At least some have improved and you can set the front wheel turn but even so they are impossible to navigate around. If you want to jog, gor for it but leave the monstrocity at home when you are out shopping.



I have one of those! And I take it to the grocery store all the time....usually on our way home from walking to the park. I don't have a vehicle during the week, so this stroller is it for me and my 2 yo. I can assure you it takes up no more space than a shopping cart

I would LOVE a fancy, more space efficient stroller with a pivoting front wheel, but this is the one I got at the thrift store for $15. Would you like to buy me something more appropriate for the grocery store?
post #133 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post
I was just reading an article about this, about two months ago, and it really stuck with me. I wish I remembered where I found it.

The article was basically about how traditionally women aren't allowed to take up space, and the animosity towards women with strollers is all about that. How if people see a guy with a stroller, they think "aw, what an awesome dad taking his kid out!" but a woman with a stroller is "taking up too much space" or "entitled." Because women should be in the kitchen, out of sight, and children should be invisible.

I dunno, it kid of struck a chord with me. Some very good points were made, I thought. On the surface it was kind of weird, but the more I think about it, the more I think maybe there's something to it.

I also never understand when people complain about how big strollers are. Hasn't anyone seen an old-fashioned pram, the kind common right up to the 1970s? Those things were friggin TANKS. The animosity towards large strollers is 100% class-based.
WORD. That totally makes sense, I just hadn't made the connection to the women/space thing.
post #134 of 182
Hello,

I have not read the entire thread yet, but it seems that this issue really strikes a chord with people.

We do not have a car; we walk or take public transit everywhere.

We own two strollers, one almost umbrella stroller that folds in half and is very small.... and not suitable for long rides.

The other is an Emmajunga Viking model from the 1980s... we got it mint and used and were very lucky.

The Viking is amazing. All metal and leather and canvas, very sturdy, and reversible. It has a flat basket under the seat where I can stash groceries. I walk everywhere with it and we have never had a glare from anyone in a store or on a sidewalk.

All of this considered, it is narrow. It fits through even the trendiest of check-outs, while still being sturdy enough to carry all of the gear.

Still, it is longer than the folding stroller and I have never taken it on a bus. I see the dirty looks everyone gets when they bring strollers on to the bus, taking up three seats (only one more than a mother and child would take up anyway!) and I just don't want the fight. I would probably not like the person I would become if I got attitude from someone about it, and strollers on buses have become an issue in my city.

So, I wear my 20 month old in a sling and carry all of my groceries in a backpack and two large fabric bags. It is a major pain. I would not be able to do it with two children, and anyone with a weaker back would not be able to manage.

So, when I see a mother with two children and a massive plastic stroller full of groceries get on to the bus, I flush with anger when I hear the grumbling coming from people.... they obviously don't know what it is like to attempt to do this. Sadly, the grumbling is almost always from our senior citizens, and I don't know why.

These women are often immigrants, working poor or perhaps young single mothers..... So I have wondered if it is more about the type of person behind the stroller, than the stroller itself.

But, on the other hand, I have seen dozens instances of people pushing double-wide bike trailers, containing one child, two abreast down narrow sidewalks in the swankiest sectors of the city - and doing so quite aggressively. Or, worse, parked while passing by each other, and talking. Completely blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians, and not caring a fig about it. I have been banged into by people pushing these strollers.

This issue was raised in our local paper and it caused months of letters on all sides, pro, con and reasonable.

So, in the first example, of the typical mother with a stroller I see on a bus or in a mall, I would agree that it could be an issue of class.

However, the second example I mentioned was so strong and maintained, that I find the argument either falls apart or fragments.

The women pushing the bike trailers were from the highest income bracket, while those on the buses were from the lower end of the scale.

Both have gotten strong negative reactions in my city, and class can't be blamed for both.

**Interesting note: My husband is home with our daughter during the week, and whenever he needs to take the bus anywhere, he uses the small folding stroller and doesn't give it a second thought. He has never had a dirty look, either.**

I think some other posters had good points. I think that most of the time, it is all about the person pushing the stroller. They could be rude with a stroller or a shopping cart, but strollers seem to be much more personal and controversial, so people react more strongly.

On the low income / bus issue, I think there is something specific about mothers and children and the animosity towards them.... but I can't put my finger on it.

Since, in my experience, the anger usually comes from our senior citizens, is it the standard "I had it harder in my day, these women are given too many breaks" bitterness? Or "I raised 12 children without taking a bus on a stroller" mentality? I am not certain... but it really bothers me. I think that our age groups are becoming so stratified that it is nearly impossible to relate to each other any more.... I fear that kindness is ebbing.

Trin.
post #135 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
This.

I used a stroller for walks in the park or around my neighborhood, but wouldn't have wanted to inconvenience others by trying to bring them in the library or shopping stores. If it annoys me, I imagine it annoys others. And I didn't mind carrying dd or stinking her in a sling. Now she can walk holding my hand or sit in a store provided cart or I will still carry her, and yes, she is H.E.A.V.Y., but the alternative just doesn't appeal to me.

How-ever, I would never say anything to a person with a stroller or let the door slam on you, how rude!
I actually find the opposite of what the OP is talking about, I find this entitled feeling often times from stroller users, like, "get out of my way, can't you see I have this stroller with a child in it!"

just curious - what would you do if you had more than one little one. Do you realize it's not always possible to safely contain 2 or more children in a store if you don't have one in the cart and one in a carrier - so stores w/o shopping carts often mean a stroller is necessary, and then there's the whole fact that many people simply don't have a sling. Of course it depends on the kids and all that. But that's the point. Anyone who is annoyed or says they wouldn't bring a stroller in a public place, likely hasn't had a need to do so like many other mamas do.

I still don't get the annoyance. So, if strollers stress you out -- when you see one, go the other way.

This all reminds me of the last time I did use my stroller (which, really is infrequently b/c DS is 2.5). Anyway, he was sleeping, we were at an outdoor shopping area which would have been difficult to get around if he was awake in the time-frame we had before having to pick up my other child -- anyway, I was able to transfer him sleeping from the carseat to the stroller and get my shopping done while he took his nap. That meant going into Borders and Gymboree (where there wasn't much room) but you know what? I navigated just fine, didn't get in anyone's way, had nothing but smiles and help to open doors and it was a very pleasant and relaxing trip for me. With four kids, that's about as close to shopping alone as it gets. If I had not had the stroller and had to wake up DS, he would have cried, been tired, likely pulled on the clothing racks or screamed in the bookstore. Honestly, even if I did piss someone off along the way, that sounds like their issue since I was doing what I had to do to get through the day.

And I do think I will throw the stroller in the car today b/c I have to go to my campus bookstore. Chances are that DS would do just fine walking (he has before, and everyone is super friendly there) but it will make it easier to run in and out quickly if he is contained and on wheels. Why the heck make things more difficult for yourself just on the off chance that some stranger is going to be annoyed?
post #136 of 182
[QUOTE=lach;14763180]I've never been rammed by a stroller either. That isn't to say that it doesn't happen, obviously, or that there aren't some really obnoxious people out there who happen to be mothers who happen to have children in strollers. But I think that there's a peculiar tendency for people to be eager about sharing their stories about obnoxious women with strollers, and then painting all mothers or even all women with that broad brush.

I mean, if I posted on this forum with a specific example that seemed to confirm a broader negative stereotype, I'm sure I'd be (rightfully) corrected by other posters, and perhaps even get into trouble with the mods. So why is it okay to hate on "large strollers" and use as the only evidence some anecdotes that are more about obnoxious people than about strollers?

I've been following the anti large-stroller trend with a lot of interest since it really started in full force about 5 years ago (back then it was 100% about the Bugaboo, now that there's a wider assortment of high end strollers it's expanded), and I really have to say that I think it's a subject heavily influenced by both misogyny and class. Both of which our culture supports criticizing, so people get away with perpetuating the stereotype of women with children in strollers as being bad females: taking up space, "entitled," and somehow automatically poor mothers.



On the one hand you are saying that the argument against strollers is misogynistic(sp?), but on the other hand you are denying this other woman, another mother(of four!) her own opinion about large strollers and the absurdity of having a cart(which could hold a child) and a stroller and still ultimately ending up holding the child in the end.

I am a woman and to me, in my very own entitled-to-having-it-opinion strollers are way overused and annoying. 'Just hold your baby' is my motto for my own self and yes, when I see someone with a child in a stroller most of the time I do think it's a silly contraption. That is my own perogative and I feel very entitled to having it.
I would never shame someone for using one.
On the other hand, my best friend uses one almost everytime we go out together and I think that is her perogative and I would never act in a way that would make her feel bad about it AT ALL.
post #137 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post


I have one of those! And I take it to the grocery store all the time....usually on our way home from walking to the park. I don't have a vehicle during the week, so this stroller is it for me and my 2 yo. I can assure you it takes up no more space than a shopping cart

I would LOVE a fancy, more space efficient stroller with a pivoting front wheel, but this is the one I got at the thrift store for $15. Would you like to buy me something more appropriate for the grocery store?

Yeah, I see how people would want me to have a little umbrella stroller, but we have ONE stroller. Our neighbors all seem to own five or so. Seriously. I bought a BOB revolution used off craigslist (had to troll for weeks to catch one) so I could use it for everything-- exercising, hauling stuff to the beach, shopping, etc. And I can push it with one hand easily... I dunno, I hardly ever use it. We babywear even when we go to Disneyland for the day. (Now I DO own several carriers ) So when I am using it, I feel like I really needed it (and I sometimes forget when it would have been a good time to use it!), and I want it to be comfy for me and DD. And when we're BWing, we totally get pushed past, people hitting DD's legs... UGH! That just sets off my mama bear... Don't hit my baby!

And yes! I get looks in the grocery store, but I WALKED there, right past all the Cadillac SUVs in the parking lot (very chi chi area). I need the good stroller just to make it down the crumby sidewalks and through the dirt/grass we cut through.
post #138 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
Why the heck make things more difficult for yourself just on the off chance that some stranger is going to be annoyed?
I guess that's one way to look at it, but certainly not the way I want to manuever through life. I mean I feel like we live on a planet with others and it is certainly my job to consider other people, plus for me it is not an inconvenience to carry dd or to have her walk(at 2 yrs old.) To me I don't feel like I am making things more difficult on myself.

And I have taken more than just my dd out several times without a stroller, in fact the idea of taking several children out and pushing a stroller seems like the impossibilty to my brain!

It boils down to a fundamental difference of opinion and I am fine with that. I don't believe, or have a need, to convince anyone that I am great without a stroller. I just don't personally like them and that is fine!

The question in the OP was about why people don't like them and I have answered that for myself
post #139 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinitty View Post
So, in the first example, of the typical mother with a stroller I see on a bus or in a mall, I would agree that it could be an issue of class.

However, the second example I mentioned was so strong and maintained, that I find the argument either falls apart or fragments.

The women pushing the bike trailers were from the highest income bracket, while those on the buses were from the lower end of the scale.

Both have gotten strong negative reactions in my city, and class can't be blamed for both.
I think that there can be class-based resentment towards women on both class extremes. Our society resents wealth, especially that which we see as unearned wealth. Which is what many people automatically assume if they see an upper class woman out with an expensive stroller in the middle of the day: she must live a life of leisure while her husband supports the family. Sure, it also holds wealth on a pedestal, and yes it's a huge contradiction, but there you go. Politicians fall over themselves to prove who is the poorest for a reason.
post #140 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
I bought a BOB revolution used off craigslist .


I met a family recently with a fabulous BOB stroller. I had such stroller envy, and then I remembered that this family (low-middle income) lives in the city and has no car. They deserve that stroller!
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