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Hostility towards strollers - Page 8

post #141 of 182
I love strollers, and I also love babywearing. I tend to use whatever works best at the time. Often, now that I have two kids, it's both. I will wear my son and push my daughter in a stroller. She CAN walk just fine, but when she gets tired, she turns into a limp noodle and collapses on the ground, and I just don't quite have the energy to attempt to carry a 4YO and a 22-pound baby.

My main stroller isn't a monstrosity, but it does have a decent-sized basket underneath, which sure is convenient for shopping bags or library books or snacks. I just don't see the point in making going places with kids harder on myself than it already is, and I don't think I'm terribly inconveniencing anyone, as long as I don't block or ram people, which I wouldn't do anyway, with or without a stroller.

I have experienced all kinds of rude behavior with shopping carts (running into me, blocking aisles, etc), but I have yet to be run into with a stroller. They take up less space than most grocery shopping carts, so I have yet to be irritated by someone taking a stroller into any store that is spacious enough to allow shopping carts.

ETA: I find the idea of this being partially about women traditionally not being allowed to take up space very interesting, and I think there is definitely some truth to this.

Also, I wonder how much of this is regional? I live in the Midwest, pretty rural/suburban area, so I think everything (stores, sidewalks, libraries) obviously tends to be less crowded, bigger aisles, etc here than it would be in an urban area.
post #142 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
It boils down to a fundamental difference of opinion and I am fine with that.
More accurately, it is a difference of reality. Not everyone has the same situation and needs, kwim?
post #143 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinitty View Post
Since, in my experience, the anger usually comes from our senior citizens, is it the standard "I had it harder in my day, these women are given too many breaks" bitterness? Or "I raised 12 children without taking a bus on a stroller" mentality? I am not certain... but it really bothers me. I think that our age groups are becoming so stratified that it is nearly impossible to relate to each other any more.... I fear that kindness i]s ebbing.

Trin.
That would be a neat trick.
post #144 of 182
Here's an idea: How about the next time you see a parent with a stroller in say, the post office, instead of thinking smugly to yourself "grrr, that huge stroller takes up half the line" why not give them the benefit of the doubt?

It's quite possible that the stroller pusher is doing you, the public, a favor by containing their kid in a stroller. Maybe the alternative is a screaming, tantruming, grabby, bolting, flailing kid. One who would surely annoy others and make life more difficult for the 10 minutes it takes to mail a package.

You have no idea what their day has been like, how much sleep mom or child has gotten in the past week, what circumstances led the parent to decide to use a stroller for that outing. It might mean you have to walk around the stroller, or wait a few seconds until they get in the door - but really, maybe that's a lot better than the alternative.

And don't say well, she could have wore the kid on her back -- because not everyone lives in a AP-fantasy world, they live in the real world.

This is quite a bizzare thread - I had no idea people found strollers so inconvenient. In fact, I would assume most people, especially those who have raised children, think they are quite handy at times.
post #145 of 182
I'm getting ready to go to the PO and I have to use the stroller. How else am I supposed to carry the baby (who refuses to get into a sling/wrap without screaming), hold the big package, hold my purse, and keep my four year old from wandering off and touching all the cool looking stuff there? I stick them both in my double stroller, stick the package at the back of the stroller and everyone is happy (well, maybe not everyone, apparently there are people who wil get offended at the sight of my stroller).

I can understand hating rude people, but I just don't get the stroller hate.
post #146 of 182
I haven't experienced any of the stroller hostility mentioned here, or maybe I've just never noticed. I like babywearing, but it's not always convenient. I also have a bum ankle that tends to turn on itself without warning. I had DS in a sling when he was around 10 days old and we all went for a walk (me, DS, DD, and DH). My ankle gave out and I fell down. How I managed to protect DS's little head is beyond me. It came very close to being bashed hard on the sidewalk. Luckily, my knees took the worst of it.

I also have one of those monster double strollers. It's a Graco Quattro Tour, so I can put the carseat in the back. I got it used on Kijiji and have to say that it really saved my sanity. I joined a local moms group and we went for long walks twice a week. DD walked too slowly at the time to keep up, so she sat in the front of the stroller, quite happily. DS was in the back and if he fussed I would pick him up and put him in the Beco. So I guess I'm a fan of the healthy combo of stroller and carrier use.

Pushing the double stroller in stores was a bit of a learning curve. I'm pretty sure I bashed into something almost every time I turned a corner at first. Never a person, though. If anyone noticed i would say something like, "I really need driving lessons and a special license for this thing." I've been amazed at how many people hold doors for us.
post #147 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by hibiscus mum View Post
I had DS in a sling when he was around 10 days old and we all went for a walk (me, DS, DD, and DH). My ankle gave out and I fell down. How I managed to protect DS's little head is beyond me. It came very close to being bashed hard on the sidewalk. Luckily, my knees took the worst of it.
Oh man that is so scary. I fell down the stairs with my kid in the Ergo the other day...somehow managed to fall backwards, but my back took the brunt of it.

Of course if I had been in the stroller I would have taken the elevator!

Seriously folks...its ok if people are annoyed by your stroller. People get annoyed. Its not ok if they let you know by shooting dirty looks or bashing on you. Its great if they smile at you and hold open doors...but its really not fair to expect such treatment. Simply enjoy it when it happens.
post #148 of 182
I find it ridiculous to complain about the size of strollers. Lots of things take up space. Some people for instance are larger. When I go out in public with my aunt we get the same glares because she is extremely overweight, takes up way more space than my larger stroller. Is she not allowed to be in Victoria's Secret now either? Or how about wheel chairs? Power scooters? I just don't get why people can't get over themselves a tiny bit and just be friendly. Nobody is more entitled to the space than anybody else--live and let live, ya know??
post #149 of 182
I really am confused at those of you are so offended by strollers in stores. Carts take up WAY more space then a stroller.
post #150 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinitty
Since, in my experience, the anger usually comes from our senior citizens, is it the standard "I had it harder in my day, these women are given too many breaks" bitterness? Or "I raised 12 children without taking a bus on a stroller" mentality? I am not certain... but it really bothers me. I think that our age groups are becoming so stratified that it is nearly impossible to relate to each other any more.... I fear that kindness i]s ebbing.

Trin.

That would be a neat trick.
LOL. Yeah, I spell checked, but missed that one. Think Johnny Carson.

Trin.
post #151 of 182
Haven't read all the replies, but:

1. I have used a double stroller;

2. The umbrella stroller I received for a gift was unsafe (tippy) and uncomfortable (too low to push);

3. I think our society is becoming anti-children. Really. I'm not anti-daycare, but I do think the prevalence of daycare has contributed to this attitude. People don't see as many moms out with kids during the day as they did a generation ago, so it's like, hey, why are these kids here? I've encountered this at the dentist, restaurants at lunchtime, stores, etc.
post #152 of 182
I think it's about judging other people, who might have any unknown circumstance or set of circumstances, based on your own circumstances. We don't know why people are using strollers, if they often use slings as well, if their child will do better at that particular store/location in a stroller than a sling, if the mom's back isn't doing well, if the mom has lots of other stuff to carry as well, etc. We just don't know what all is involved, so to judge a mom for using a stroller when we don't know what all is going on seems simply unfair. And, sure, the same is true for a lot of things.
post #153 of 182
For me, the irony is that our stroller helps me be more NFL! We walk to the park (1 mile, along busy roads) instead of drive because we have a stroller. We walk to the grocery store (.3 mile, but no sidewalk for half of it and one busy road to cross) because we have a stroller. Wearing a nearly 3 yo is out of the question for me and my nearly 3 yo (although we were huge babywearers when he was younger).
post #154 of 182
My two year old was knocked down by a stroller trick or treating on Halloween. Was it the strollers fault? No but it did make me question bringing a big stroller to a crowded neighborhood to push kids up to each house so they could hold out their bags for treats. I would imagine it could be done without incident but it seems like the person pushing the stroller would have to be really careful and this person was not. My feeling is that when you are walking you can sense where others are but when you are pushing something like a stroller it is on the person with the stroller to be extra cautious about everyone around them and that is hard to do, at least for me when I am pushing a stroller or a shopping cart for that matter, I feel like I have to be hyper alert. I have been bumped many times at farmers market, not by people being rude or obnoxious but by what seemed like carelessness or lack of attention being paid to navigating a wheeled object though a group of people.
post #155 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
What I don't really understand is the judging of all mothers with strollers. I can understand judging rude people with strollers. I judged the rude babywearing mother at Toys R Us who screamed at dd1 and made her cry because she claimed she was standing too close to her and might bump into her baby. But I don't extend that judgement to the rest of babywearers, just the rude one. I like strollers better then babywearing, but my personal preference doesn't make me judge all babywearers because they don't share my preference.

I just don't understand what is to judge.
I just don't love strollers. To me it's a lot of contraption for such a little being. In my mind I'm thinking right now about what I don't like about strollers, personally, and I guees to me they are not more convenient. To me they add another step to getting out of the car or the house and all for what? To put my child on wheels, I guess. It's like a roving playpen with less room for dc to move about.
Of all the children I watch and have watched as a nanny/babysitter what I have learned for myself is that if they are not going to be happy where we are going outside of the stroller, they are not going to be more happy inside the stroller. If they are going to want to run around where ever we are going then they more than likely are not going to want to be strapped into a stroller instead.
I have never had a 3yo that actually wanted to be in a stroller.

These are my reasons for not loving strollers.

As I have said many times in this thread, I am never rude to a person using a stroller, I would of course hold the door for a stroller user(or anyone for that matter) and I have friends who use strollers as a rule and would never say a word to them about it.

I just don't love them and that's pretty much all there is to that.

And I have experienced rude stroller users and that adds to the annoyance.
post #156 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
I just don't understand what is to judge.


You don't have to personally like them to understand that others have legitimate reasons to use them.
post #157 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I just don't love strollers. To me it's a lot of contraption for such a little being. In my mind I'm thinking right now about what I don't like about strollers, personally, and I guees to me they are not more convenient. To me they add another step to getting out of the car or the house and all for what? To put my child on wheels, I guess. It's like a roving playpen with less room for dc to move about.
(bolding mine)

Transportation! Really, it is just a transportation tool. It gets us there quicker and safer than walking hand in hand, and safer than driving.

Also, after spending 1-2 hours at the playground, my little guy is super happy to ride home in the stroller rather than walking! He's tired. So am I! I'm seriously not wanting to carry him (35#) the 1 mile home at that point.
post #158 of 182
welllll, I am kicking myself for forgetting the stroller today. After a 45 minute drive into the city, of course my little guy was fast asleep. Wonderful, b/c I had exactly 1 hr to get in and out and BACK to my town to pick up my other son from the bus stop. SO, after driving around for what seemed like forever to find a parking spot (one that was pretty far away, I might add) I am stuck, in the freezing cold, having to pee like a mother, trying to convince a sleeping 30+ lb 2.5 yr old to squeeze into the ergo -- all so I can shlep 3 heavy textbooks and my purse all the way to the campus book store.

BRRRRR! (okay, so bringing a coat would have been a good idea, you can judge me for that ) Then of course, I had the ordeal of waiting in line, finding a bathroom to use with said 2 yo on my back, and getting all the way back to my car to rush back up to my kid's bus stop (45 min away, remember). What would have made this trip a kazillion times easier, of course, would have been my trusty, not too bulky, beloved stroller. If you can't understand that, or even worse, are judgemental about it - I have no idea what to say to convince you that yes, sometimes strollers make life go a little bit smoother. Otherwise they wouldn't be selling like they do.

I suppose one could say I could have chose a better time to go (ha! you don't know my life) or hey, maybe that moms shouldn't be trying to go to school - problem of using a stroller on campus, solved, right? funny, though... we saw 2 other women there with children who looked older than my DS, who were happily riding in their comfy stroller.

and by you, I mean general you who don't care for strollers and don't understand how on earth they could be useful. What the heck is not to understand? Maybe someday you will have say, twins and a toddler at the same time and see things a bit differently.
post #159 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I guess to me they are not more convenient.
OK, to you, a person who clearly doesn't have a bad back, plantar fascitis, or live in a city where strollers are banned from public transport. I broke my foot when my baby was 4 months old. What was I supposed to do? Sling her while wearing my walking cast?
post #160 of 182
I don't like strollers, and I didn't babywear. Not sure what that makes me! We had a stroller I used infrequently, and a bjorn that I hated. Maybe a sling would rocked my world but I didn't have one.

Once DD could walk she was pretty much done with her stroller--which I realize would not work with everyones lifestyle. She walked and when she got tired I picked her up and carried her for a while. If we lived in a city, I'd probably would have been more comfortable with her safely contained in a stroller.

I totally crack up when I see people strollering 5+ year olds, but that is just me being judg-y and I try not to actually manifest it. I certainly hold the door and am polite to pretty much everyone in my path--but I just don't get why people are so dependent on them, and I find them particularly infuriating in crowds.
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