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Hostility towards strollers - Page 9

post #161 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I just don't love strollers. To me it's a lot of contraption for such a little being. In my mind I'm thinking right now about what I don't like about strollers, personally, and I guees to me they are not more convenient. To me they add another step to getting out of the car or the house and all for what? To put my child on wheels, I guess. It's like a roving playpen with less room for dc to move about.
Of all the children I watch and have watched as a nanny/babysitter what I have learned for myself is that if they are not going to be happy where we are going outside of the stroller, they are not going to be more happy inside the stroller. If they are going to want to run around where ever we are going then they more than likely are not going to want to be strapped into a stroller instead.
I have never had a 3yo that actually wanted to be in a stroller.

These are my reasons for not loving strollers.

As I have said many times in this thread, I am never rude to a person using a stroller, I would of course hold the door for a stroller user(or anyone for that matter) and I have friends who use strollers as a rule and would never say a word to them about it.

I just don't love them and that's pretty much all there is to that.

And I have experienced rude stroller users and that adds to the annoyance.
I still don't understand the judgement for all people who use strollers. Personally, for me, slings/wraps/mei tais are very inconvenient. I would have to get the sleeping baby out of her carseat, causing her to scream, and try to calm her down in the sling, that would never happen, so she would just scream the whole time. And then there would be a post on MDC about the horrible mother with the screaming baby who ruined other people's shopping trip.

And my four year old loves the double stroller. She walks when she wants, and when she gets tired she can ride. Or like today when we had to wait in line at the PO, she brought books and toys so she could sit and play with them.
post #162 of 182
Returning and reopening.

Please keep the User Agreement in mind when posting, and be respectful to one another. You're more than welcome to engage in polite debate while discussing the topic at hand; you are not welcome to call each other judgmental, engage in namecalling, post to discuss other members' behavior on the thread, or personally attack/take issue with other members.

That said, carry on.
post #163 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I have never had a 3yo that actually wanted to be in a stroller.
My 3 yo is totally happy to get in the stroller partway into regular 7-10 mi walks with multiple playground stops along the way. He is also happy to get in the Ergo halfway through mountain hikes, despite being otherwise adamantly opposed to the idea.

My experience: Get a child tired enough and that child will be happy to ride in whatever conveyance s/he is offered.

I understand the no-stroller idea. We didn't even buy a stroller until DS was almost 18 months old. We borrowed a ten year old pram/stroller from a neighbour when DS was a baby, but with one child, in a city, I found it easier to get around on public transportation with him in a carrier of some sort. We mostly used the pram for walking to the grocery store, because we could then use the basket to carry groceries home more easily. As DS got older, we found the pram more and more useful.

A stroller can be incredibly useful and convenient, especially when you walk a lot of places. Necessary? Maybe not. Convenient and can replace driving? Yes.

I'm sure that some people have children who have walked 20 miles daily from the time they could toddle. And they do it without complaining. Uphill both ways. Just because that's what was expected of them.

Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to build that particular model.
post #164 of 182
Didn't see the actual link to the article a PP wrote about-- mother's and children taking up space. it was on salon.com and written by a mother in my neighborhood. (park slope brooklyn)

http://www.salon.com/life/feature/20...ate/index.html

to give a little background, park slope is on one hand the single most child friendly neighborhood in the country, IMO. Coffee houses filled with nursing toddlers, babies/children in every restaurant/bar (at least the lounge-y bars with sofas and food... and remember, no smoking in nyc bars), green children's toy stores on every block, etc. at the same time, there is a great backlash to mothers in general in this neighborhood, which quietly simmers and then erupts every so often, and often strollers and all they represent are the flash point. a neighborhood bar frequented by mothers during the day (again, very comfy quiet sofa type place, looks much more like a coffee house) banned strollers a few years back and the UPROAR from both sides was deafening!

Yes, babies in bars are a whole other issue. But it sure makes urban parenting nice!

I have never cared my entire adult life if a person pushing a stroller is in my way. People are in my way often, I live in NYC. If someone is in my way, I say "excuse me." Solves the problem pretty fast. If they don't hear me, I say it again until they do!

Most of the time I babywear. But living in the city means traveling all day without the break of putting baby in the carseat, so a good stroller is nice to have. I think the Bugaboo Bee is the perfect mix between not too big but still soooo easy to move around.

And I love that high school aged kids (who moments before were cursing loudly and trying to look tough to their friends) are the ones most likely to help me pull the stroller down the subway stairs, as the 20s and 30s and 40s able bodied men rush by. Ha.
post #165 of 182
Good article, thank you for linking!
post #166 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
I think it's about judging other people, who might have any unknown circumstance or set of circumstances, based on your own circumstances. We don't know why people are using strollers, if they often use slings as well, if their child will do better at that particular store/location in a stroller than a sling, if the mom's back isn't doing well, if the mom has lots of other stuff to carry as well, etc. We just don't know what all is involved, so to judge a mom for using a stroller when we don't know what all is going on seems simply unfair. And, sure, the same is true for a lot of things.
I agree, we can't know what someone's situation is. I used a sling and Mei Tei when DS was younger but there is no way I can wear him for very long now. I have 3 herniated discs in my lumbar spine and wearing him for more than 10 minutes or so causes serious pain in my back and hips.

I have a medium sized stroller and I don't use it often. On short outings DS walks. If we have a longer journey planned I have no qualms about using the stroller and I sure don't ram anyone with it. I've had plenty of people offer help up and down stairs and I've never noticed anyone giving the stinkeye.
post #167 of 182
Thread Starter 
Light and love to you all!
post #168 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post
A stroller can be incredibly useful and convenient, especially when you walk a lot of places. Necessary? Maybe not. Convenient and can replace driving? Yes.

I'm sure that some people have children who have walked 20 miles daily from the time they could toddle. And they do it without complaining. Uphill both ways. Just because that's what was expected of them.

Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to build that particular model.

And the other thing about a 3 or 4 year old riding in a stroller is naptime. I know some 3 and 4 year olds no longer take naps, but my son napped until he was just about 5 and having a stroller along meant we didn't have to be slaves to naptime every single day. I remember a couple of times him falling asleep on public transport and I didn't have a stroller. Try carrying an almost 4 yr old uphill for 15 minutes, all the while trying not to wake him because you know he hasn't slept nearly enough and if he wakes up he won't go back to sleep.
post #169 of 182
I don't hate strollers, its the people behind them that irritate me.

If people want to use a stroller, thats fine. I have one, a teeny small one for going into town, I used to have a huge thing as well for long walks. The huge stroller NEVER went into town, the small stroller did.

I mean, unless you need a large stroller for like a disabled child or for twins etc, so be it, otherwise use some sense. I wish more women would carry their babies (I know that isn't always possible).

There have been numerous times I have been late (I am not allowed to drive due to health/medication) because some selfish woman on the bus has taken up the whole push chair space and will not move at all in order to accommodate my pushchair (thats if their is enough space left at all even after moving it). That really irritates me, a lot of the time I am tired and in pain and just want to get to where I am going without having to wait hours at the bus stop with my child just because people won't move in the bus.

Two disabled people got on a crowded bus once, nobody moved including the mum in the disabled spot, didn't adjust her stroller and within earshot of the disabled people said 'its not like they are old or anything'. They were trying to navigate their way to empty spots with their crutches all over the place. I felt awful for them.

Obviously this isn't the case all the time but I have had a lot of bad experiences with other mums and push chairs and it really bugs me.
post #170 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
I'm getting ready to go to the PO and I have to use the stroller. How else am I supposed to carry the baby (who refuses to get into a sling/wrap without screaming), hold the big package, hold my purse, and keep my four year old from wandering off and touching all the cool looking stuff there? I stick them both in my double stroller, stick the package at the back of the stroller and everyone is happy (well, maybe not everyone, apparently there are people who wil get offended at the sight of my stroller).

I can understand hating rude people, but I just don't get the stroller hate.
I don't hate rude people, but they sure as heck bug me. And I don't get the stroller hate either, but usually when I go shopping, the stroller ends up holding my packages and not my children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckiestgirl View Post
Haven't read all the replies, but:

1. I have used a double stroller;

2. The umbrella stroller I received for a gift was unsafe (tippy) and uncomfortable (too low to push);

3. I think our society is becoming anti-children. Really. I'm not anti-daycare, but I do think the prevalence of daycare has contributed to this attitude. People don't see as many moms out with kids during the day as they did a generation ago, so it's like, hey, why are these kids here? I've encountered this at the dentist, restaurants at lunchtime, stores, etc.
I agree with the bolded. We can have our children - as long as no one sees them and as long as they inconvenience no one. We must remember that children should neither be seen nor heard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
I think it's about judging other people, who might have any unknown circumstance or set of circumstances, based on your own circumstances. We don't know why people are using strollers, if they often use slings as well, if their child will do better at that particular store/location in a stroller than a sling, if the mom's back isn't doing well, if the mom has lots of other stuff to carry as well, etc. We just don't know what all is involved, so to judge a mom for using a stroller when we don't know what all is going on seems simply unfair. And, sure, the same is true for a lot of things.
Yes.

Let's just stop judging, people! Come on! We are all mamas! We are all trying to do our best to raise our children as best as we can. Strollers have their need, their use, and their place, and no matter how much we think we know what goes on in the lives of strangers, we.just.don't. If you don't like my stroller, then for Pete's sake, look away! But to sit back and judge me for it is tantamount to the grouchy old man judging me for openly breastfeeding my son at the local Applebees.

Can't we all just get along???
post #171 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by tireesix View Post
If people want to use a stroller, thats fine. I have one, a teeny small one for going into town, I used to have a huge thing as well for long walks. The huge stroller NEVER went into town, the small stroller did.

I mean, unless you need a large stroller for like a disabled child or for twins etc, so be it, otherwise use some sense. .
How many strollers do you expect people to buy?

If you need a stroller for transportation, you need a bigger one with bigger wheels (think jogging stroller). Not everyone has the resources to buy and store different strollers for different situations.

I don't remember ever having a problem with another parent+stroller. I have, however, had many, many annoying situations with other people and their cars, but I don't blame the cars
post #172 of 182
Quote:
And I love that high school aged kids (who moments before were cursing loudly and trying to look tough to their friends) are the ones most likely to help me pull the stroller down the subway stairs, as the 20s and 30s and 40s able bodied men rush by. Ha.
So true! I'm very impressed with the young people in this city. They are incredibly helpful and actually make conversation with DD! It is like they have a less biased view of the world or something.

Quote:
I'm sure that some people have children who have walked 20 miles daily from the time they could toddle. And they do it without complaining. Uphill both ways. Just because that's what was expected of them.

Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to build that particular model.
DD walks a lot for her age (3), but even in the best of circumstances, and especially in the afternoon, she gets tired and cranky and needs a nap. Home seems PAINFULLY far away with a snoring 3-year-old on your shoulder, especially if you're walking. It is more about me than her.
post #173 of 182
I hate strollers for myself, they are a pain to use, ds wants in and out constantly, they take up too much room, and Im not good at steering!

Ds likes to walk most of the time, sometimes I put him in a carrier, he used to be in one all the time when he was smaller. At theme parks we bring the wagon, it holds more 'stuff' (which is what its for anyway), plus he can climb in and out eaiser. We only own a stroller b/c my parents take him for a walk sometimes and wanted one, but they are the only ones who use it, and Im planning on getting rid of it soon.

I dont care weather other people use strollers or not, as long as they arent running into my heels, tripping me, crashing into me or leaving it right where everyone is supposed to be walking. (I have seen all of this!)
I also think its weird when someones kid like lives in the stroller, I've seen people that never let there kid out to look at anything/run around or whatever, seems boring for the kid.
post #174 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by elmh23 View Post
I really am confused at those of you are so offended by strollers in stores. Carts take up WAY more space then a stroller.
I was just thinking the same thing!
post #175 of 182
For me it's all about safety. Shopping with two or three babies/toddlers is a regular occurance for me. I'd be crazy without a double stroller. Especially with my bolters, my wanderers, my non-walkers.
I've encountered hostility on occasion, but don't let it bother me as I know I have just as much right to be in the mall as Mr or Mrs. Crankypants, I'm a paying customer, and I'm polite (too polite sometimes).

Plus we're(or I'm) thinking safety here. My kids are safe in the double stroller, so who gives a hoot what anyone else thinks?
post #176 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by leighi123 View Post
I also think its weird when someones kid like lives in the stroller, I've seen people that never let there kid out to look at anything/run around or whatever, seems boring for the kid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I have never had a 3yo that actually wanted to be in a stroller.
Quote:
Originally Posted by madskye View Post
I totally crack up when I see people strollering 5+ year olds, but that is just me being judg-y and I try not to actually manifest it. I certainly hold the door and am polite to pretty much everyone in my path--but I just don't get why people are so dependent on them, and I find them particularly infuriating in crowds.
Wow. So much judgement. My ds is 6 and still uses his jogging stroller sometimes. Why? Because he has autism and oftentimes it's near impossible for him to be out in public without having a meltdown. But, you know what? I still have to go shopping. I still have to live life. If having his stroller (and some books, his blankie and some noise blocking headphones) helps my son cope with life- why shouldn't I allow that? To some people I'm sure that looks like I'm taking the lazy way by not having him walk or that he's spoiled or whatever. I don't care. It gets us through the day and, you know what? If I didn't have that stroller for him and made him walk and he freaked out in the middle of the store- complete with head banging, screaming and, often- running away.... what would you think then? Of course I would be judged as a horrible mom. Either way I do it (stroller or no stroller) I'm being judged every single day by people who has NO IDEA what I deal with every day and every night.
post #177 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by leighi123 View Post
I hate strollers for myself, they are a pain to use, ds wants in and out constantly, they take up too much room, and Im not good at steering!

Ds likes to walk most of the time, sometimes I put him in a carrier, he used to be in one all the time when he was smaller. At theme parks we bring the wagon, it holds more 'stuff' (which is what its for anyway), plus he can climb in and out eaiser. We only own a stroller b/c my parents take him for a walk sometimes and wanted one, but they are the only ones who use it, and Im planning on getting rid of it soon.

I dont care weather other people use strollers or not, as long as they arent running into my heels, tripping me, crashing into me or leaving it right where everyone is supposed to be walking. (I have seen all of this!)
I also think its weird when someones kid like lives in the stroller, I've seen people that never let there kid out to look at anything/run around or whatever, seems boring for the kid.
Yes. This is what I'm saying.
post #178 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
Wow. So much judgement. My ds is 6 and still uses his jogging stroller sometimes. Why? Because he has autism and oftentimes it's near impossible for him to be out in public without having a meltdown. But, you know what? I still have to go shopping. I still have to live life. If having his stroller (and some books, his blankie and some noise blocking headphones) helps my son cope with life- why shouldn't I allow that? To some people I'm sure that looks like I'm taking the lazy way by not having him walk or that he's spoiled or whatever. I don't care. It gets us through the day and, you know what? If I didn't have that stroller for him and made him walk and he freaked out in the middle of the store- complete with head banging, screaming and, often- running away.... what would you think then? Of course I would be judged as a horrible mom. Either way I do it (stroller or no stroller) I'm being judged every single day by people who has NO IDEA what I deal with every day and every night.
I really think that what I was trying to say is being taken out of context, here. I said that I have never experienced personally a child older than three that wanted to be in a stroller. That is my experience.
If that works for you then by all means thats just whats going on and my experience is not important at all. I feel like I can have my experience and you can have yours and they don't have to be the same and we don't have to agree and you still get to use your stroller for your child as long as you want to and there should be no problem.
I mean, in my experience as a mom I have made plenty of choices that other people, even my best friends didn't always agree with or understand, but I still made them because they were what I felt was right for me at the time.
And you know what, even here, on MDC, other moms would not at all agree with some of the choices I have made, but I still get to make them because I am the mom and ultimately it's not about everyone validating me and telling me that if it works for me then it's great, it's about me doing what I feel like is right for my kid, or my family or myself. I have realied along the way that I am not going to get that validation from everyone, y'know?

Do what you feel, Mama, you're the boss when it's your kid, I don't have to agree and it's still ok!
post #179 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post
My 3 yo is totally happy to get in the stroller partway into regular 7-10 mi walks with multiple playground stops along the way. He is also happy to get in the Ergo halfway through mountain hikes, despite being otherwise adamantly opposed to the idea.

My experience: Get a child tired enough and that child will be happy to ride in whatever conveyance s/he is offered.

I understand the no-stroller idea. We didn't even buy a stroller until DS was almost 18 months old. We borrowed a ten year old pram/stroller from a neighbour when DS was a baby, but with one child, in a city, I found it easier to get around on public transportation with him in a carrier of some sort. We mostly used the pram for walking to the grocery store, because we could then use the basket to carry groceries home more easily. As DS got older, we found the pram more and more useful.

A stroller can be incredibly useful and convenient, especially when you walk a lot of places. Necessary? Maybe not. Convenient and can replace driving? Yes.

I'm sure that some people have children who have walked 20 miles daily from the time they could toddle. And they do it without complaining. Uphill both ways. Just because that's what was expected of them.

Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to build that particular model.
To me, and again, this is just for me, I wouldn't want to push the dang thing all around waiting for the time when my kid might want to get in it. Esp. not miles! I really must be too tall for the common construct, but I find them very very uncomfortable to push and even with our schwinn jogger that my hubby found in the trash while at work, I still haven't found a real use for them.
post #180 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post
So true! I'm very impressed with the young people in this city. They are incredibly helpful and actually make conversation with DD! It is like they have a less biased view of the world or something.
It may have to do with the people who want moms and babies/children to disappear being the same people who think teenagers should be kept in a cage. The teens probably have some sympathy with the general vibe.

I like living in Vancouver. I've never felt that I shouldn't be out and about with my kids, whether I'm babywearing, carrying a carseat, pushing a stroller, or just generally wrangling a bunch of crazy little people.
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