or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Hostility towards strollers
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Hostility towards strollers - Page 2

post #21 of 182
I'm pregnant with my first child, so no stroller experience yet, but I just thought I would chime in that people are also surprisingly unaccommodating to my big pregnant belly! I thought they would move out of the way to let me by in aisles, etc., at stores and so on - but I"m having to say "excuse me EXCUSE ME" multiple times and then somehow try to squeeze by... so I can only imagine strollers are much more difficult to navigate!
post #22 of 182
I never used a stroller, but I have had more than one encounter with the beasts to have formed a great dislike of them. Actually, I don't dislike strollers, it's most of their owners that are annoying.

It irks me to no end the lack of courtesy shown to others by so many stroller-pushing parents at the zoos we've visited!

2, 3 or 4 women (it's mainly been women) pushing double-or-triple-wide strollers, while chatting, at a slow pace and taking up entire walkways on the grounds. I understand, the zoo IS a nice, quiet place to take the munchkins. But, please, think about the other people that are trying to pass you, while you chat with each other, side-by-side!

And, when the sign, at the entrance to an exhibit, says "Please, Park Strollers Here", DO IT! Those nocturnal exhibits are difficult enough without having our toes stubbed or run over by a stroller that isn't supposed to be in there in the first place (especially when Mommy lets the toddler do the pushing )

Quote:
What rips me is stores not being stroller friendly.I get upset by shopping at shops that have racks ontop of each other or stuff in toddler reach lol.Not everyone has a nanny.My child thinks its fun to see what he can rip off the racks while strolling by. When I get him out of stroller I see a million clothes tags where he was sitting.
Stores aren't meant to be stroller-friendly, nor are they supposed to be toddler-friendly. What does a nanny have to do with it? Stores are for selling products in a convenient manner, so that customers can help themselves to merchandise. Do you expect them to hang clothes so high that they are unreachable? Have everything behind a counter? "When I get him out of stroller I see a million clothes tags where he was sitting." Do you apologize to the clerks and offer to help them sort out which removed tag goes where??
post #23 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by grahamsmom98 View Post
\

Stores aren't meant to be stroller-friendly
Oh yes they are, because they should be wheelchair accessible, which happens to equal stroller-friendly as well.
post #24 of 182
OH yes! Last winter I was car-less/license-less and had to get everywhere by bus. I was also pregnant and had many appts which at times were for around rush hour (despite my begging and trying to reschedule). One day a woman complained loudly about how it wasn't very smart of me to take a stroller on the bus at rush hour. I replied "What's your phone number? I'll call you and ask for permission the next time I need to go out."

Honestly? I think it's hostility aimed at mothers & children and general, not just strollers. But maybe I've become a bit jaded...I do get that same sense of people not wanting to see or hear children/families....it's sad and really used to get to me in my early days of motherhood. Now it's like water off a duck's back and I've stopped feeling like I have to apologize for "being in people's way"...me and my children deserve to be out and about just as much as anyone else.
post #25 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I'll admit, I have a problem with strollers. Too many of them are 'cadillacs' - huge things that have shocks and off-road tires that don't belong in stores. And parents are careless with them. I love children, but if there's a double stroller in the middle of the aisle of a crowded restroom, I'm going to curse the parents under my breath.

If more people used smaller strollers that were a single person wide and didn't take up a good portion of close areas, I don't think there'd be much of a problem with it. But it's the behemoths that make people groan - especially during the busy shopping season and the already crowded areas.
And for many of us, it's not practical to have a lighter stroller. I'm in a really cold place and it was the larger stroller that allowed me to weather proof, have a carseat handy for if I needed to cab it back with groceries and space for the groceries themselves! We had no car so it was really the most practical thing for us.

For the two seconds it might take to get around someone with a "behemoth", especially someone who might be struggling with more than one child, is it really worthy of the glares and nastiness that some moms get?
post #26 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by grahamsmom98 View Post
I never used a stroller, but I have had more than one encounter with the beasts to have formed a great dislike of them. Actually, I don't dislike strollers, it's most of their owners that are annoying.

It irks me to no end the lack of courtesy shown to others by so many stroller-pushing parents at the zoos we've visited!

2, 3 or 4 women (it's mainly been women) pushing double-or-triple-wide strollers, while chatting, at a slow pace and taking up entire walkways on the grounds. I understand, the zoo IS a nice, quiet place to take the munchkins. But, please, think about the other people that are trying to pass you, while you chat with each other, side-by-side!

And, when the sign, at the entrance to an exhibit, says "Please, Park Strollers Here", DO IT! Those nocturnal exhibits are difficult enough without having our toes stubbed or run over by a stroller that isn't supposed to be in there in the first place (especially when Mommy lets the toddler do the pushing )



Stores aren't meant to be stroller-friendly, nor are they supposed to be toddler-friendly. What does a nanny have to do with it? Stores are for selling products in a convenient manner, so that customers can help themselves to merchandise. Do you expect them to hang clothes so high that they are unreachable? Have everything behind a counter? "When I get him out of stroller I see a million clothes tags where he was sitting." Do you apologize to the clerks and offer to help them sort out which removed tag goes where??
Yes, it is rude for parents to block the path of others but are you really expecting parents to leave their stroller outside and carry the stuff they have in it while helping their kids around? People have strollers so they don't have to lug everything around.

Stores may not be specifically designed to be stroller friendly but they should be accommodating for all their customers who may be in wheelchairs or be pushing strollers. If racks were further apart then kids wouldn't pull on tags and parents would be more likely to spend more time and money in a store. So many stores pack racks in so closely that you can't even push a small stroller through without getting the wheels caught.

The nanny comment has everything to do with this. Not everyone has a nanny, babysitter, friend, mother, etc. to watch their kids while they are doing shopping that needs to be done. If I didn't take my kids shopping with me we wouldn't have had food or clothes that fit for the year my husband was overseas. Not everyone can shop without kids and strollers make it possible to shop with them.

Several people have mentioned how large strollers are. It is annoying to have to get around large strollers but maybe that parent really does go on dirt paths or has some other need for a very large stroller. When my two older kids were both under 16 months I needed to use a double stroller to shop. I didn't have the money right away for a regular double stroller so I used the stroller kit that came with my double bike trailer. It was huge but it held a lot of stuff plus my kids and that was what I had to use. I did get some looks but when you are a parent you do what is best for your kids, even if it makes others less than comfortable.
post #27 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by elus0814 View Post

Several people have mentioned how large strollers are. It is annoying to have to get around large strollers but maybe that parent really does go on dirt paths or has some other need for a very large stroller. When my two older kids were both under 16 months I needed to use a double stroller to shop. I didn't have the money right away for a regular double stroller so I used the stroller kit that came with my double bike trailer. It was huge but it held a lot of stuff plus my kids and that was what I had to use. I did get some looks but when you are a parent you do what is best for your kids, even if it makes others less than comfortable.
Absolutely, what gets me is that even HERE somehow there is the expectation that a mother caring for her family should be putting the comfort/mild inconvenience of strangers first. IN this case it's about strollers, but it applies to having children in public places, nursing in public etc etc.
post #28 of 182
If you have never had to use a stroller (Especially as a main mode of transportation - I recall many days walking to my neighborhood grocery store with two small children in a duoglider - b/c we needed milk) I wouldn't be so quick to be annoyed. I hate pushing a large, double-wide stroller myself b/c it is cumbersome and difficult - and luckily for me those days are gone - but no way was I going to not go to the store, or unload a bab and a toddler before going in to a public bathroom ( really, would I sit them on the floor so I could pee?)

as for the zoo thing, I suppose those sahm's should walk behind one another so their babies can't see each other and they can't socialize, even if that's the only adult conversation they've had in a long time. I can see how it might take up a lot of room, but come on. If you are a single 2 legged person (ie no stroller to push or child's hand to hold) is it really that difficult to weave in and out or speed up a bit to get by or pass the obnoxious stroller users?

See, I get being irrtated by having your foot ran over w/o a sincere apology - but parents pushing strollers have every right to take up space in public places. If it really annoys you, I would suggest staying home.

(my youngest is 2.5 and much prefers to walk so our stroller use is almost non-existent now, but having BTDT for several years, I would feel nothing but understanding when I saw a big akward stroller in my way.)
post #29 of 182
People who block whole aisles with their strollers would likely block them without strollers. Lots of people are just inconsiderate and oblivious to others. I work at a large mall, in a busy restaurant. (The people with big strollers are slightly less annoying to me than people who text while walking.)

My only real issue with big strollers is at work. Our restaurant is not set up to have strollers blocking aisles....it's considered a safety/fire hazard. So, strollers have to be left in a corner of the lobby or in the back hall near the rear exit. I simply don't understand why people in the parking garage load their baby up into a behemoth stroller just to walk the short distance into our establishment. Wouldn't it just be easier to carry the kid in?

Ugh...I just realized tomorrow is Sunday. There will be dozens of big strollers taking up half our waiting area at brunch.
post #30 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by elus0814 View Post
Yes, it is rude for parents to block the path of others but are you really expecting parents to leave their stroller outside and carry the stuff they have in it while helping their kids around? People have strollers so they don't have to lug everything around.
If there is a sign outside an exhibit that says "No strollers inside", then yeah...I do really expect parents to leave the stroller outside, or just skip that exhibit or work something else out. I used a backpack to carry my stuff, which I then put in the stroller. I suppose I had never considered that people would just toss their stuff directly into the stroller and not a bag first.

I have nothing against strollers per se, but they don't give people carte blanche to act like inconsiderate UA violations. I too have been rammed by strollers without even a word of apology (could have been more related to the fact that mom was blabbing on her cell phone than the stroller itself). I have seen someone block the entrance to an exhibit because she decided that her stroller was too important to leave outside but obviously was not thinking too hard so it got *stuck* in the turnstyle which pretty much prevented anyone from getting in for awhile except for people limber enough to climb up and over the other side. I have seen people sideswipe a store display and keep going.

But it's not the poor strollers' fault. I have a feeling that no matter what they use or don't use some people are just intentionally or unintentionally rude or clueless. And I'd still rather be hit by a stroller than run over by a shopping cart.

When my twins were infants and my older DD was 17 months, I had to use a freakin' triple stroller and NEVER rammed anyone, picked up things I knocked off shelves, and when we went to the zoo I did NOT ignore posted signs--so either we didn't go in certain areas OR...yep, I left it behind. So I guess I don't see any excuse for bad behavior while using a stroller. If klutzy me can navigate a triple, most people should be able to use a single politely.

Generally there are reasons why some exhibits/areas restrict strollers. Most of the time it's a volume thing. One stroller might not be so bad, but when you have 25 people thinking that they deserve an exception to the rule, then it kind of makes everything a pain in the butt, and only perpetuates the idea that "Oh look at that, yet another person who thinks that because they have a fancy XYZ stroller the rules don't apply to them."

I guess whatever notion I had that people would extend chivalry to me when they would see some poor mom trying to get her shopping done with newborn twins and a toddler under two vanished as people constantly let doors slam in my face, honked at me when I was taking too long breaking down the stroller and leaving my parking spot, ect. I do the best I can to extend courtesy and kindness to others, though.

I have yet to see a stroller that is wider than an adult manual wheelchair, so if a store's aisles are not wide enough to accomodate passage then yes, the store is in violation because they should know to keep their aisles clear. However, having been married to someone who uses a manual wheelchair--let's just say that most stores don't really give a fig about people who use wheelchairs either. :P

IME, it only takes one or two bad experiences for people to get grumpy about something, which is probably where the stroller hostility comes in. Maybe the OP and PPs have not seen it, but man, I have seen plenty of clueless and rude stroller users.
post #31 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swan3 View Post
OH yes! Last winter I was car-less/license-less and had to get everywhere by bus. I was also pregnant and had many appts which at times were for around rush hour (despite my begging and trying to reschedule). One day a woman complained loudly about how it wasn't very smart of me to take a stroller on the bus at rush hour. I replied "What's your phone number? I'll call you and ask for permission the next time I need to go out."

Honestly? I think it's hostility aimed at mothers & children and general, not just strollers. But maybe I've become a bit jaded...I do get that same sense of people not wanting to see or hear children/families....it's sad and really used to get to me in my early days of motherhood. Now it's like water off a duck's back and I've stopped feeling like I have to apologize for "being in people's way"...me and my children deserve to be out and about just as much as anyone else.
DH was coming home from work one day last year and got on the bus. He said a mother with a stroller was behind him and as she started to fold up her stroller to get on the bus the bus driver told her to wait until everyone else got on to get on with her stroller. Well by the time everyone else was on the bus, the bus was full. He simply told her to wait for the next bus. I think it might have been raining too.. but DH doens't remember. He did complain to the bus company but I am sure they didn't care.
post #32 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
\
I have nothing against strollers per se, but they don't give people carte blanche to act like inconsiderate UA violations. I too have been rammed by strollers without even a word of apology (could have been more related to the fact that mom was blabbing on her cell phone than the stroller itself).<snip>
But it's not the poor strollers' fault. I have a feeling that no matter what they use or don't use some people are just intentionally or unintentionally rude or clueless.
yeah you said it more eloquently than i did, but yes. this.
post #33 of 182
There a lot of nice bus drivers out there...

But that being said, a lot of people will do what they can to avoid having people they perceive as more bothersome from getting on the bus. When I was married to my ex, I cannot tell you how many times even the accessible lift buses just passed us by because the driver did not want to bother to operate the lift (it takes some extra time, to be sure, but not THAT much). Some busses weren't equipped with lifts, so of course those guys had to pass us by, but one time we were passed by several times by accessible buses, and the one that did stop had the gall to offer me a ride but the driver "couldnt' spare the time" for my DH at the time.

So I could see the stroller story happening. Though I think it's less about the stroller and more about the bus driver being an ass. IMO.
post #34 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
So I could see the stroller story happening. Though I think it's less about the stroller and more about the bus driver being an ass. IMO.
The way they drive around here.. I think they are all asses. I can't count the number of times they have run me out of my lane, pulled into me from the side of the road.. and even pulled out in front of me on a 55mph country road. I had to slam on my breaks! Apparently they think they should be yielded to.. no matter what!
post #35 of 182
"who was old enough to walk" I loathe that attitude. You have no idea why that mother chose to have a stroller for her child. It is none of your business as to whether he/she could walk or not. DS has low muscle tone and while he could walk, he got tired very easily. I hate to think of people like you judging my decision to bring a stroller for my child just because YOU think he should walk.
post #36 of 182
For every person who is bothered by strollers, there's a parent out there who is completely rude about theirs. I've never seen anyone give me the evil eye over a stroller, but I've been nearly rammed/run over by moms with strollers talking on their cell phones. And they give my son the evil eye because he's walking and sometimes slow (I do make sure he doesn't walk in the middle of the aisles).

You can't win either way.

But stores SHOULD be accessible to strollers, like a couple of pp's have said, because they should be for wheelchairs and few strollers are wider than a wheelchair. My DD's medical stroller is a beast and we have no problem most places we go.

And the rudeness isn't limited to strollers. I know plenty of mamas with SN kiddos who have people act completely inconvenienced by their kid's wheelchair. One mama I know says when she goes out with her typical DD in an umbrella stroller, people are very courteous and hold open doors, offer to help her ect, and when she takes her SN DS out in his wheelchair, she gets doors slammed on her, rude stares, ect.
post #37 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by bits and bobs View Post
"who was old enough to walk" I loathe that attitude. You have no idea why that mother chose to have a stroller for her child. It is none of your business as to whether he/she could walk or not. DS has low muscle tone and while he could walk, he got tired very easily. I hate to think of people like you judging my decision to bring a stroller for my child just because YOU think he should walk.
Ditto that here.

I don't drive, so I end up walking places with my kids a lot. Sure, most 2-3 year olds can manage to walk a few blocks to the park, but turn that distance into 2-3 miles, and it's a whole 'nother ball of wax.

You want to know my shopping pet peeve? People who hang out blocking an aisle talking on their cell phones or to friends they see in the store, blocking the aisles so I can't get past them with my cart or stroller. I'd much rather deal with another Mom with a stroller.
post #38 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
as for the zoo thing, I suppose those sahm's should walk behind one another so their babies can't see each other and they can't socialize, even if that's the only adult conversation they've had in a long time. I can see how it might take up a lot of room, but come on. If you are a single 2 legged person (ie no stroller to push or child's hand to hold) is it really that difficult to weave in and out or speed up a bit to get by or pass the obnoxious stroller users?
Actually it usually is that difficult at a place like a zoo. I do think it's horribly rude to walk side by side slowly and take up the whole walking space. I go to the zoo fairly routinely with other moms with small children, and we all take strollers. We don't block the whole sidewalk; it isn't necessary to walk from one exhibit to the next, and our children get plenty of time to talk to each other as do the moms.

As Tigerchild said, though, some people are just rude, stroller or no. Yesterday we were in the grocery store with a woman in a wheelchair in front of us. She was going really slowly and stopping at each aisle to look down it. The people with her were lined up on either side of her, so they were blocking the entire walkway. Why??? It was just rude. There were ways to do that without blocking the whole area, but I'm sure those people would be rude in some fashion no matter what. Some people are just rude.

Ditto on the people stopped in the aisles on their cell phones. I've actually been a bit snippy with several of them before, especially when they're blocking the things I need, and "excuse me" isn't heard over their chatter.
post #39 of 182
When I saw the topic title, I thought the thread was about animosity towards strollers in the AP community, which does exist I think . In any case, I do think strollers in malls and public places can be annoying, but I think trying to navigate a stroller around a public place can be more annoying still. On the few occasions I have taken my kids out in strollers, I was probably that person bumping into people. We all know that pushing a stroller with one hand while holding a toddler's hand with the other is not pain-free.

On the whole, I think people will complain about you if you are out with small kids, regardless of whether you babywear, have a stroller, or all kids walk. Society as a whole has become pretty intolerant of small kids, unless you are in a place like McDonalds, which I would rather keep my kids away from .
post #40 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
people will complain about you if you are out with small kids, regardless of whether you babywear, have a stroller, or all kids walk. Society as a whole has become pretty intolerant of small kids

Sad but true. Some people complain about young kids making noise the minute the noise starts. I can see complaining if it's been going on half an hour. But complaining because a child screamed ONCE? I mean, little ones make noise! What are the parents supposed to do, never bring their kids out in public?

I also had someone complain to me once about a mom with a stroller... but the mom had three kids that all looked 3 or younger (two toddlers and newborn!). I don't think she had a choice about having a big stroller!


Edited by April Dawn - 7/5/11 at 7:42pm
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Hostility towards strollers