Hostility towards strollers - Page 3

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by Swan3

And for many of us, it's not practical to have a lighter stroller. I'm in a really cold place and it was the larger stroller that allowed me to weather proof, have a carseat handy for if I needed to cab it back with groceries and space for the groceries themselves! We had no car so it was really the most practical thing for us.

For the two seconds it might take to get around someone with a "behemoth", especially someone who might be struggling with more than one child, is it really worthy of the glares and nastiness that some moms get?

I never said that it was worth rudeness, but implied that parents with strollers should make the effort to be as courteous as possible. If that were the case, I'm sure there'd be less of a problem with strollers. But like with anything else, it's the bad thumbs that stick out. Just reading this thread I found it ironic that one mom complained of stores not being stroller friendly because there is merchandise at the toddlers' level that he pulls off the shelves. A few posts later was a complaint that stores are not stroller friendly because the aisles are too narrow, making it hard to get a stroller (or more illegally, a wheelchair) into the space. So if stores are complying with the law and making it so that handicapped people can maneuver and reach items, the store still loses because mom complains that Junior can reach things, too.

There needs to be some sort of parental responsibility and extra awareness when you extend your space by 3ft. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but it is very irksome to those of us who are trying to be courteous having it ruined by those who are not.

[OkiMom]

I have been pretty lucky with taking my girls out. I don't have the option of not taking a stroller when we go on day trips because I can't carry a almost 40 pound 2 year old and a 25 lb one year old, my back would give out. So, only way to go out is to take my stroller which happens to be a double stroller (our single gave out on us right after we had DD2 so we got a double). However, its small enough to get through regular doorways and down ailse as long as they are wide enough for a wheelchair. People haven't closed doors on me anymore now than they did before. I don't know if its because we live in a military community but even the teens tend to go out of their way to open door and help when its obvious I need an extra hand.

I find a great hostility against children though when I visit the states or talk to people about having more children. I guess that people no longer think of children as an asset, they are more like liabilities now.

[Straggletag]

I admit it. I loathe strollers and it is 100% about the amount of space they take up and the inconvenience they represent to me. I accept that, in some cases, they are a necessary evil, and I really only notice them if someone is being extra annoying about them. Since I don't have a problem with kids in slings, wearing safety backpacks, or sedately walking, even if they're going slow, nor do I have any problems with even the largest and slowest of pregnant women (been there!), I don't think for a second that it's about anything besides the inconvenience factor.

On the other hand, I'd hate having to use a stroller even more. I can't imagine the irritation of shlepping the beast all over the place! We cheerfully walk around our town and the neighboring city, without the benefit of a stroller. I've taken my older child on many multi-hour hikes and walks in a sling without trouble, even hauling groceries back. Now that we have a second kid, and the first has outgrown our little sling, we still hike with them in arms, in sling, on shoulders, or the older one walking alongside. No one has ever given us the stink eye for being in public with little ones, but I never failed to get glares when pregnant. I guess my kids are cuter than I am.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

If you want to experience stroller hostility try pushing the huge boxy double stroller at Disney (world -lands aren't bad) through crowded mainstreet.

.

NO! Not the "happiest place on earth"! LOL!!


I must agree with the person who wrote that navigating stores with strollers is a nightmare--and it's actually quite ironic: strollers these days are pretty much made for shopping (not running strollers, just strollers--I mean, where else do you go with them?) and yet some of the worst stores to navigate with strollers are places like Carter's clothing (for kids)! LOL!

What a world we live in...

[ShadowMoon]

I never used strollers. Never had a need, though I completely see why they can be a necessity to others. I don't have a hostile attitude towards strollers themselves, but I definitely dislike inconsiderate people at the helm. I think i became a bit jaded from working in the zoo business for most of my life. I have run into many people that ignore stroller parking signs, (some exhibits and buildings just can't accommodate them. It is a pain to unload everything, I know. But please understand that if a building says "NO Strollers" there is a reason for that. Many strollers are monstrosities and just because something is wheelchair accessible does not always mean your stroller will fit). People need to be aware of others when pushing (or standing around) with a stroller. I have had to ask many groups of parents to clear the way in front of an exhibit because they all stalled there to chat and no one else can fit to view the animal. (In these cases, the babes in strollers aren't even facing the exhibit and the parents aren't either).

People with strollers and people without all need to be more aware of each other. In this case it's definitely the bad, inconsiderate apples that are giving a bad name to the others.

[Lolagirl]

Originally Posted by Straggletag

I admit it. I loathe strollers and it is 100% about the amount of space they take up and the inconvenience they represent to me. I accept that, in some cases, they are a necessary evil, and I really only notice them if someone is being extra annoying about them. Since I don't have a problem with kids in slings, wearing safety backpacks, or sedately walking, even if they're going slow, nor do I have any problems with even the largest and slowest of pregnant women (been there!), I don't think for a second that it's about anything besides the inconvenience factor.

On the other hand, I'd hate having to use a stroller even more. I can't imagine the irritation of shlepping the beast all over the place! We cheerfully walk around our town and the neighboring city, without the benefit of a stroller. I've taken my older child on many multi-hour hikes and walks in a sling without trouble, even hauling groceries back. Now that we have a second kid, and the first has outgrown our little sling, we still hike with them in arms, in sling, on shoulders, or the older one walking alongside. No one has ever given us the stink eye for being in public with little ones, but I never failed to get glares when pregnant. I guess my kids are cuter than I am.

See, as a mother of twins this sort of comment feels pretty unfair. The reality is that it's impossible for someone of my smaller size and stature to sling two toddlers for any serious distance, and forget about letting them both walk on their own, especially if I'm also trying to carry stuff like bags of groceries.

Until very recently, we lived in a crowded urban neighborhood and only had one car. My double stroller WAS my car, my only means of transportation to places like the doctor the park, or the grocery store, and the only means I had to haul things around and wrangle my very busy and energetic toddlers. I got abuse and glares from people every day, regardless of how courteous and observant I tried to be, regardless of whether I took care to not bump into people or get in the way and always apologized profusely if it happened accidentally. If I didn't have my stroller to get around we would have been stuck in our apartment every day and I suppose we would have gone hungry since I wouldn't have been able to accomplish things like grocery shopping without it.

The article was basically about how traditionally women aren't allowed to take up space, and the animosity towards women with strollers is all about that. How if people see a guy with a stroller, they think "aw, what an awesome dad taking his kid out!" but a woman with a stroller is "taking up too much space" or "entitled." Because women should be in the kitchen, out of sight, and children should be invisible.

I do think our society expects women to be far more courteous and self-conscious about taking up space while out in public in a way that men never are expected to be. I think this expection is even greater when it comes to children, it's just more socially acceptable to complain when those children are in a stroller. Oh, and heaven forbid that stroller be at all expensive, then I'm an over-entitled rich lady who thinks I own the place (except, well that $500 stroller is still way cheaper than a second car would cost to own and operate.)

[HollyBearsMom]

My biggest issue are those jogging strollers with big "all weather"wheels that don't have a turning radius. Hello. it is a JOGGING stroller not a meander around the mall/grocery store/etc stroller. At least some have improved and you can set the front wheel turn but even so they are impossible to navigate around. If you want to jog, gor for it but leave the monstrocity at home when you are out shopping.

[Ldavis24]

I haven't had time to read all the responses but I have to admit I have a thing against strollers at times. I have had my feet run over and literally been shoved aside on more tha one occasion by women who drive their strollers around like tanks with no regard for people standing around them.

I know not every mother is like this and I myself use a stroller once in a great while (like 4 times since DD has been born and she is 6 months old) and I always try to be really really aware of how I am moving it around. Honestly I get the feeling that some women think because they have a stroller they can pretty much push their way wherever they want to without thinking about it because it is the stroller pushing not an actual person elbowing you out of their way

Hmm so i guess that makes me a mom who has hostility toward strollers, yikes! Actually I have a hostility towards moms who act like their stroller gives them a free pass to be rude and pushy.
Once again not every stroller using mom is like this, I just find a stroller a pain in my butt usually and generally just sling DD around, although like the PP said with twins that isn't really practical.

[MummaLitt]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

My biggest issue are those jogging strollers with big "all weather"wheels that don't have a turning radius. Hello. it is a JOGGING stroller not a meander around the mall/grocery store/etc stroller. At least some have improved and you can set the front wheel turn but even so they are impossible to navigate around. If you want to jog, gor for it but leave the monstrocity at home when you are out shopping.

I have one of those monstrocities. It's not a "jogging stroller" but it does have the "all weather wheels" and a pivoting front wheel. We got it when we lived in an area that had very bad sidewalks and I frequently would have to cut across a field rather then triple my distance by going around it. Once we moved to the city, it didn't really make sense to get rid of the "All Terrain Stroller". We couldn't afford a second, more "city-friendly" stroller. So we still have and use the big one. But I'm careful and try to be polite about using it when I'm in places like the mall. And I find my huge three-wheel stroller to be MUCH easier to navigate then most 4-wheel strollers. I've actually had more "accidents" with the stupid umbrella stroller because you simply cannot steer it with one hand.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by bits and bobs

"who was old enough to walk" I loathe that attitude. You have no idea why that mother chose to have a stroller for her child. It is none of your business as to whether he/she could walk or not. DS has low muscle tone and while he could walk, he got tired very easily. I hate to think of people like you judging my decision to bring a stroller for my child just because YOU think he should walk.

Also many children look older than they are. Mine do. My DH's grandma told me that people would always complain to her that DH was immature and he should act his age.. She would say.. he is THREE and they would insist he was 5.

Originally Posted by LilyGrace

A few posts later was a complaint that stores are not stroller friendly because the aisles are too narrow, making it hard to get a stroller (or more illegally, a wheelchair) into the space. So if stores are complying with the law and making it so that handicapped people can maneuver and reach items, the store still loses because mom complains that Junior can reach things, too.

I have never complained that my child could reach things in a stroller but it is the law that stores be accessible to wheelchairs. If I can't get my stroller down the isle how is the wheelchair going to get down there? The store that I complained to about this was KB Toys too. You would think a TOY store would want to be accessible to parents with children.

Other than the accessibility issue and the issue DH had on the bus.. I have never experienced hostility towards strollers. I have four kids! I wonder if this is more of an issue further east.

[moaningminny]

Umbrella strollers suck.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by MummaLitt

I've actually had more "accidents" with the stupid umbrella stroller because you simply cannot steer it with one hand.

Pop a wheely and drive it on the back wheels. Thats the only way to get anywhere with those stupid things.

[mammastar2]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

My biggest issue are those jogging strollers with big "all weather"wheels that don't have a turning radius. Hello. it is a JOGGING stroller not a meander around the mall/grocery store/etc stroller. At least some have improved and you can set the front wheel turn but even so they are impossible to navigate around. If you want to jog, gor for it but leave the monstrocity at home when you are out shopping.

We had one of those, and used it until my daughter was 5, specifically for shopping, for the most part. We left it outside the store, with a bicycle chain locking it. Well, come to think of it, it wasn't a jogging stroller, but a bike trailer detached from the bike.

We didn't have a car. It was helpful beyond compare, and meant that we could go out walking for a couple of hours and get food for the week. Things other people do with their minivans. And yes, she was old enough to walk, but this worked better and gave us more flexibility. By the time she was 5, she was able to walk for up to an hour and a half at a grown-up pace, so I don't think it stunted her development.

I find that when people complain about other people having appurtenances and baby gear that isn't 'necessary,' often it's a failure of imagination. The speaker may have a life where they can't imagine needing a particular piece of equipment, but that doesn't mean that the thing in question never serves any purpose for anyone. (not a comment about you specifically, but a general observation - more imagination = good thing, leads to more compassion!)

[Lillitu]

i have conflicting opinions on strollers:

1. many of them are just too big. i liken them to the "hummers" of baby gear- using way too much petroleum (to make the plastic) when a narrower, more efficient one would be just fine for most.

2. stores should accomodate strollers, period. if they do not, it also means that they are not accomodating wheelchairs, which is illegal.

3. people can be quite entitled and huffy and rude. this goes for not showing courtesy to parents with strollers, pregnant bellies, and many other things. i remember seeing a sociological study on TV about payphones a while back. if someone is waiting in line to use a payphone while someone else is using it, the person on the phone actually uses it statistically longer than if no one is waiting to use it. interesting insight, no?

[possum]

I dislike strollers. My 2.75 year old 38 lb son took his first stroller ride at the zoo with my husband a couple of weeks ago while I was helping a friend who just had a baby. He's been walking for almost 2 years now but rarely gets a chance to when we are out since I usually wear him. It is the most convenient and appropriate solution to our need to navigate the market and streets and stores that we have in our area. I'll admit I don't go out of my way to accommodate people who take their siege towers (those tall travel systems with buckets on top), battering rams (long double strollers), and other big honkin' things into crowded spaces. When I'm hauling a 38 pound toddler and my groceries I feel I'm already doing my part to make the market run smoothly.
While I have had people wonder if I was comfortable and if my son was okay, I have only had positive comments about him and our carriers.
If people really think of their strollers like a vehicle - for hauling children and coats, bags, food, groceries, shopping bags, and the like, then why don't they park them outside like a car or a bike? When I drive to a store, I take my son out of his seat and we go in - without a huge collection of stuff. If I need to take a bag, I carry it. Although it would be more convenient for me, I have never considered driving my car or bike through the aisles of the grocery store to pick up a few items.

[Chryseis]

I'll admit to having some stroller hate sometimes, primarily toward one particular all-terrain double stroller that is larger than my first car. It's a nice stroller, but it's a bit large for indoors (it takes up a whole library aisle). It's also the only stroller that has attacked my shins. But on the whole it's less the stroller than the person driving it. As has been pointed out earlier, people who are inconsiderate are going to be inconsiderate with or without a stroller.

I do think that strollers have gotten larger over the years, because we've added a lot of features that weren't on older strollers and carriages (larger baskets, drink holders, comfier seats, etc.). Because of this we use them more, and we use them longer. I also think double and even triple strollers have become much more common than they once were because they're nicer than they once were and people are keeping kids in strollers longer.

[Drummer's Wife]

It's weird but I can't recall strollers bothering me in a public place - it could just be that I don't get out much but really, I think I just don't notice/don't care and have been lucky enough not to be truly inconvenienced by someone with a stroller. That and of course I have had to use a double stroller myself in the past, so it's likely that I have empathy - even if mom is on the phone and doesn't notice others -- it's just not something that would annoy me any more than a million other things random people do in public.

Someone mentioned grocery store aisles where people stop to chat and block the entire way - that does bug me if I am in a hurry and only have a short amount of time in the store before having to pick up my DS from preschool. But I, being me, just go around or wait patiently even if I am secretly a bit annoyed.

[snuggly]

I would say to those that are upset that mamas with strollers don't get out of their way should re-study traffic and pedestrian laws: it is the responsibility of smaller and more nimble vehicles (and those passing from behind) to yield and go around the slower ones. Non-strollering folk should be grateful for their maneuverability and step around stroller families rather than grumble at the mamas who are doing the best that they can!

Also, to me it's just silly to debate what size stroller a family should use. You don't know their situation and besides it's a stroller and, in the end, it's going to take up some space. What's the big deal about going around it another 9 inches or so? We have one of the "monstrosities" (BOB revolution). We run to the store, shop, and run home. (It's a great workout running up hill with a stroller full of groceries!) Perhaps I'm a tad selfish, but I would not give up a great time for my LO and the only exercise I get to give other shoppers a little more space. I also agree with a pp that the large quality stroller can actually be much easier to maneuver than smaller ones- so, a little more space taken, but no accidental rammings!

All that said, we never run into people or are rude with them in any way. I have also experienced mostly lovely and helpful people. Opening doors... running down the block to return a toy that was thrown overboard... Being sweeties in general. Thanks all! I love my town!

[Lolagirl]

Originally Posted by possum

If people really think of their strollers like a vehicle - for hauling children and coats, bags, food, groceries, shopping bags, and the like, then why don't they park them outside like a car or a bike? When I drive to a store, I take my son out of his seat and we go in - without a huge collection of stuff. If I need to take a bag, I carry it. Although it would be more convenient for me, I have never considered driving my car or bike through the aisles of the grocery store to pick up a few items.

I would once again like to point out that for mothers of twins this is often a practical impossibility. Sure, as a parent of kids with staggered ages you may very well be able to trust the older child to walk while slinging the younger one. But with twins it's very difficult and unwieldy to sling them past a pretty young age, and if they are at all curious and energetic forget about letting them walk while the parent tries to do anything task oriented like grocery shopping.

So we then go back to my earlier point that without these types of strollers i would be left to sit at home with two bored kiddos and no means to achieve my daily errands. And please don't tell me that I should wait until my spouse is home to go do the errands, or ask why I don't arrange for childcare so that I can do these tasks sans kids. It's already assumed that I'm overentitled for thinking I can do these things with my kids in a stroller. Yet how does that explain my inability to afford childcare as we're already on a strict budget in order for me to continue being a SAHM? The simple fact is that it's pretty easy to make assumptions about other people's motivations and state of mind, and to thus be unsympathetic towards our fellow citizens as a result.

So next time, before you assume that I'm some overentitled yuppie housewife, please start from the assumption that I'm a mom with the same best of intentions that you have, trying to do the best she can for herself, her kids, and her neighbors.

[pragmaticme]

Is this the hill people want to die on, bashing other moms for using strollers?

I have two double strollers. I have twins. I have one for shopping, a Phil and Teds with an attachment. And I have a Bumbleride for outings that don't require a small stroller. The Bumbleride is much more comfortable for the babies and has lots of storage space for me.

When the babes were 6 weeks old I made my first solo outing. I went to the local nurse run baby group. I live in a very progressive, crunchy, urban neighborhood. Most of the moms are dedicated baby wearers. I showed up with my big stroller and my tiny babies, re-arranged some seats so I could put the stroller right beside me, made a general nuisance of myself. You know what those women did? They gave me an all clap for getting out of the house. Many of them commented about how intrepid I was and how they admired my grace under pressure. I went to the baby group until they were about 4 months old, and every time the nurse and the other mothers all accommodated my big stroller, and went out of their way to help me any way they could - held a crying baby, helped me change a diaper etc etc. A true community of women supporting each other.

I hope we'd all be so gracious with other mothers out there in the real world.

I'm constantly apologizing for my stroller being in people's way, most people just stop and briefly admire the babes. I've only had one person ever harrumph me and it was an old man that looked like he had a terminal case of Grinchitis. And if I have ever tapped someone with my stroller by accident - forgive me Father for I have sinned.