If you EC'ed from birth, at what point was your baby toilet trained?

[Snapdragon]

I am going to try EC with my first baby. I have read a couple of books on it and am going to try. I am not sure what kind of time frame to expect. I imagine babies and situations would vary. But what is a general idea- if you started ECing from a a newborn, at what point did you not need diapers any more, or did you feel they were toilet trained?

[Sheryl1678]

My daughter turned one yesterday and was ECed from the day she was born with cloth backups for outings and overnights. She is totally out of diapers and exclusively wears training pants now. She is 100% dry at night and usually for outings. The misses we have are usually when we are home and I am trying to get other things done. We usually have one or two misses during the day at home so I don't consider her totally trained yet but almost. Who knows what setbacks are to come as well.

[Carlyle]

I know you didn't ask for advice, so I'm sorry if I'm being annoying My unsolicited advice is to let go of any expectations about when your kid will be out of diapers or potty trained (not that it isn't fun to see what other people's experiences were!). The less it matters to you and the more you go with the flow and follow your kid's lead, the faster it will happen (ironically, of course).

I started at around 3 months (once I felt like I had gotten the hang of the whole OHMYGAWDIHAVEABABY thing and breastfeeding), and I considered my dd "potty trained" in the normal US definition of the word (initiating pottying by herself, I was just reminding her before long trips in the car or to the store, all I did was wipe and pull down tough pants) by around 2.5 or so.

BUT, I could count the # of times that dd pooped in a diaper (or somewhere else undesirable) after 6 months old on both hands (okay, maybe plus a couple of toes). That alone was "worth" any effort I threw at the whole ec thing (but there's tons of other cool stuff too, that I'm sure you'll find out).

Anyway, have fun with it!

[lovebug]

[pixiepunk]

ITA with Carlyle! i think the people who burn out on EC are those expect their kid to be 100% miss-free by a year.

i think a reasonable expectation is somewhere between 18 months and 2.5 years. i think most kids i know who were EC'd were EC grads during that age range. there are some kids in undies full-time at like 10 months, and others who don't get there till 3. think of it like you might think of child-led weaning... there are kids who self-wean at age 2 and others who nurse till they're 7. obviously it's not the same, but just saying that each kid is going to be different developmentally, and have different needs on such a wide spectrum of things, it's a very individual thing.

I've EC'd 3 kiddos, but only one FT and from birth. She's 19 months now and has been dry consistently at night since about 4 months. she's been an at-home grad since about 13 months, and about 3 months ago i started taking her out of the house frequently without a trainer on - though she still wears one on long car rides and when she's in the daycare where i work (which is for 1.5 hrs at a time 3x a week), though i think i'm going to drop those times too after the holidays as it's been ages since she's actually gone in the trainer in any of those circumstances. now this doesn't mean she *never* has a miss, but it's really infrequent. she had one last night (we had friends over and she was up waaaay past her bedtime, and did tell me she had to pee but we didn't make it to the bathroom in time. it had been probably 2 weeks since the last time something like that happened.

for reference, my two others, who i did late-start, PT EC with, were both grads around their 2nd birthday (give or take).

[zoebird]

yup, i agree with the others.

for us, it's really about honoring our son's sovereignty. we just want him to know what he doesn't have to be dirty, that he can go this way. it gives him power and control over his own body and functions.

he's a good signaller, and perhaps with a more mindful parent, he would be a grad. (that is, i don't always respond quickly to his signals, hence we have a 'miss.' it's rarely his 'fault' and usually mine!) but, when he graduates isn't important to me.

i love pottying him as much as i love our many other AP tools. i grant you, it's not as easy or awesome as nursing, but i love it just as much insofar as it's a way for me to connect with my son.

even if he doesn't graduate until he's 3 or 4 (the average age for potty learning here), then that's fine. because for me, it's about connecting with him in another way.

[sprinkle pocket]

i agree with the 'no expectations' idea. but also just for some reference, we ec'd with our first...we packed dipes away at 3 mos, but kept a few prefolds for laying in the car seat, just in case. but at that point, we stopped every couple miles to pee him (and he did usually). he stopped us from peeing him at night feedings at 5 mos and was dry through the night after that, even during intense teething. i can't remember when he was done-done...definitely b4 1 yr. but we never used dipes as back up, so we had to do it. i think that made a difference. also, i remember getting peed on 10 x in a day during a particularly heavy teething time. my accidents (missing peeing/pooing him) didn't end when we packed the dipes...we were just making such great numbers of catches that we fully committed to doing that for him by not diapering any more. hth!

[isabchi]

My two completly different experiences:

DD started EC at 12 mo....was on undies 24/7 at 19 mo.
DS started from day 3, now He's 17 mo with no to many cues. We still timing and had to many pee misses a day. We can live with that!, some how, some day He's going to be more vocal before pees. He's never been in a wet diaper or trainer for more than a minute or two. He still dry most of the nights and many hours during the day. DH is been not very consistent with DS, but He still working on it, LOL.
I don't see DS in undies by the same age than DD, but He will be probably in undies by 2 yo., but this "expectation" can change though. We learned from parenting our LOs to follow our children need and not other way around.
Like the previous posted, I agree that every child if different and EC is a part of communication and bounding . EC is pretty much as part of our parenting, like breastfeeding and gentle discipline, etc.
Best to you and your LO.

[hrsmom]

I agree, drop or don't form expectations, and I agree it is fun to read the stories!! We started in the first week (not from birth, but she was less than a week old, although I did my best to keep her dry and changed immediately before actually putting her on a potty.) Anyway, from about 4-6 or 7 months we used trainers almost exclusively, with a diaper some of the time when we went out and about. (She started holding it when out and about very early on, though, so I didn't always put on a dipe.) Started back with diapers again around 7 months, and used them in combo with trainers up until about 17 month-ish. Now (at 20 months-today!) we use trainers or go nakey bum 99.9% of the time. (I will put a diaper on her at night at my mom's house and we're over there about every week and a half or so.) I would consider Hannah a stage 1 grad since about 17 1/2 months, in other words, she is mostly dry with my help. Without my helping and reminding, she would just pee her pants or pee wherever she is. She occasionally takes herself, but rarely. I don't mind, I like helping her stay clean and dry!! She will tell me that she's just started to poop and will finish on the potty in situations like when we have company or we're at our mom's house. (It's very cute!)Otherwise, she just poops on the potty. Enjoy!!!

[Daffodil]

Two kids, two different experiences:

I started EC with my DD when she was 2 months old. By 8 months, she was out of diapers day and night, but we still had some misses. The misses increased from about 11-15 months, then gradually got less frequent. By 26 months, she would consistently tell us when she needed to go, and pretty much never had an accident anymore.

I started EC with DS at about 2 weeks. I stopped using diapers during the day when he was about 18 months (after gradually using them less and less), but he still had quite a few misses at that point. (Just pee - he was totally reliable about pooping in the toilet by then.) By the time he was 2 1/2 or 3, he no longer had accidents big enough to make a puddle, but he still frequently peed a little in his pants. He just turned 4, and still pees a little in his underpants almost every day. He usually stays dry at night if I take him to the bathroom to pee after he's been sleeping an hour or so, but sometimes I put a pullup on him at night just to be safe.

[sgmom]

We started full time at 4 months, and now at 14 months (part time) you would think we've never done it at all. She can sign "potty", and when I ask her where the peepee goes, she will show me that it goes "in the potty", but she doesn't signal her need to eliminate, doesn't pee on command, and doesn't she tell me when she's wet.

However, we do go through "mini lightbulb moments" where something will happen and I'll be like "She's getting it!", but then a few days later, it's back to full time diapers. Last week for example she was diaper free. She went to our toilet (which she's never pee'd in), pointed inside it, signed "potty", then pee'd on the floor. Lately she's been showing more interest in watching me pee, and based on this incident the connection is definitely forming.

Definitely lower your expectations. I started EC because I liked the idea of communicating to my child about her needs to eliminate. Teaching her that it's not comfortable to pee in a diaper, how to tell me if she is wet, learning to recognize the sensation when she needs to pee, and teaching her a proper place to eliminate. I LOVED keeping her dry, and the communication part of it all, but I was MOST excited to have her "out of diapers" by about this age.

It didn't work that way for us, but even though we severely lack the communication part, she does seem to understand the general concept that "pee goes in the potty" (when asked the question), and although we rarely have any more catches, she loves sitting on her potty (and even sometimes like sitting on the big toilet) . This alone is a HUGE step ahead of diaper learned babies. q

I plan to EC our next baby (due in May) from birth (going to go diaper free as much as possible) and it could be a completely different experience. I'm looking forward to it!!

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

I started EC with DS at about 2 weeks. I stopped using diapers during the day when he was about 18 months (after gradually using them less and less), but he still had quite a few misses at that point. (Just pee - he was totally reliable about pooping in the toilet by then.) By the time he was 2 1/2 or 3, he no longer had accidents big enough to make a puddle, but he still frequently peed a little in his pants. He just turned 4, and still pees a little in his underpants almost every day. He usually stays dry at night if I take him to the bathroom to pee after he's been sleeping an hour or so, but sometimes I put a pullup on him at night just to be safe.

Just out of curiosity, have you taken him to see a chiropractor? A friend of mine was having a similar problem with her son and it turned out that there was some compression on one of the nerves in his spine.

[yamilee21]

We started EC with my son when he was 6-7 weeks old. He seemed to be toilet-trained at approximately 30 months, but that only lasted 5 months until his baby sister was born, at which point he regressed completely. He truly became reliably toilet-trained at 3 years and 9 months. We started EC with my daughter at 9 days; she had clear and obvious signals and screamed when she was wet/dirty. She did very well (in terms of using fewer diapers and almost always pooping in the potty, etc.) the first year, but now at 17 months, she does not signal, and prefers to go in diapers/clothing/the floor. If I were practicing EC in order for my children to toilet-train my children "early" I would be disillusioned, .

[hrsmom]

I do remember that when my LO was tiny, I was thinking I was only going to have to deal with a few months of messes. I didn't know!!!!! Actually, when I was pregnant, I didn't think there would be many messes at all, maybe a handful? And then after she was born and I couldn't possibly catch every thing (and I didn't even try) I figured the messes would clear up by around 11 months or so. Ha ha ha!!!! It's been an awesome journey, though, and I'm so glad we've done EC, for so many reasons!

[emmaegbert]

I like this group on here so much. What an interesting thread. And its so heartening to read. I've been feeling a bit like an EC "failure" b/c I just can't deal with it when out and about, and have at least 2 pee misses a day even at home. DD is 7mo and doesn't signal (well, once or twice I swear I've seen her make a potty sign but it was more like when she heard someone say the word), and we don't think she holds it either. She does have many a dry night, and quite a few catches every day, but if we're out of the house, forget it. She's not interested, so I backed off and let her use (cloth) diapers.

DS, who I did not EC, not knowing about it (though I believe I did communicate and respond to his communications about it) stopped pooping in diapers at 18m, and was out of daytime dipes around 22m.

At first I was thinking, ooh, she'll be out of diapers earlier. Now reading this I remember thats not the point and perhaps not all that realistic. I can say, so far we have a lot FEWER dirty dipes, esp A LOT less poo dipes b/c of EC. And, DD definitely does know what the potty is for and uses it daily.

[Plummeting]

We did it half-heartedly for the first few weeks, but my PP depression was terrible for a while and I had to lay off until about 12 weeks or so, at which point we picked back up. DD has had only two poopie diapers since age 6 months, with no poopie underwear accidents. She was completely out of diapers and not having any misses by age 17 months. She really and truly was what people would consider fully potty trained. We never did the potty sign and she never said she had to potty at that age. She just held it when we weren't at a potty and went when we were. Obviously, we had to give her lots of opportunities, though. And at home we had two potties that were convenient - one in the living room and one in our bedroom. If she had to go when we were at home, she could go to the potty herself.

She did have an almost complete potty pause at about 9 months of age, IIRC. It lasted for quite a while and we were having like 9 misses a day for what seemed like forever. Then she just went right back to peeing in the potty regularly, like she'd never stopped. She never stopped using it to poop. I think it was more comfortable for her to sit on the potty and do it than be in any other position.