DS (turns 6 in a few weeks) DOES NOT LISTEN. I don't know where or when it all went so bad, but he is downright disrespectful and rude. He has started using really bad language (calling his 2 yo brother an idiot and stupid), he will throw his wet pull-up at his dad's face, he will try to get his brother (and other kids) to defy anything an adult says (if I ask him to wash his hands for dinner, he'll say to his brother "let's not wash our hands!"), he tries to get accomplices - when I ask him to get in the car he will instead run around the car (in a parking lot!) and tell his friend "come on, let's get away from them"), if I ask him to do something he'll just say NO!
When he gets undressed he throws his clothing on the floor, he puts food from the dinner table on the floor, he takes his brother's fork and puts it on the floor and laughs, if his brother drops a picture he's been colouring, DS will walk on it, he'll walk on his coat, my coat, etc. He'll take the pillows off my bed, and I will tell him to please put them back, he'll look at me defiantly and throw them over the railing down to the first floor and then laugh - or say something like "ha ha, you can't get it". Last night he came in and wumped me with a pillow over the head.
Other times, he is very sweet, kind, caring, considerate, sensitive, so some of these behaviors are not expected (and are getting worse after DH has been letting him watch horrible cartoons meant for teenagers on tv! arg!!).
He told me to shut up the other day. He will take a cup of water and purposefully pour it on the floor, even if I ask him not to.
I just don't know what to do about this behavior. I got a call from his school last week that he is being disrespectful to the teachers and disruptive to the class. I tell him it's not acceptable, I try explaining why, I try role playing good behaviour, talk about making good choices instead of bad ones, nothing seems to sink in. He is just so rude and disrespectful. It makes me really really sad and scared that this is who my sweet little boy is becoming. Other parents have started excluding him from birthday parties and play dates, and I'm sure it's because of his bad language and behaviour.
What leverage can I have? I don't like the idea of sending him to his room, and if I did I am not sure he would care. I can't think of anything he would care enough about if I took it away, (like a toy or something). But I feel like I need some leverage as a consequence of bad behaviour. I try to think about natural consequences but I don't feel like they are strong enough - I'm not sure he'd care if he found out he was being excluded from a bday party because he was rude. I make him clean up messes he makes on purpose, but what is a natural consequence of throwing a dirty diaper at his dad's face? Or hitting me over the head with a pillow, or calling his little brother names? Or walking on his brother's picture or coat?
Help!!! I want to help him become a better person but I don't know how. I've decided we are unplugging all of the tv's and it will become a priviledge that has to be earned with good behaviour. That's all I can think of. Again, not sure it will work though - he will just plug it back in and keep turning it on, or sneak down and turn it on.
When he gets undressed he throws his clothing on the floor, he puts food from the dinner table on the floor, he takes his brother's fork and puts it on the floor and laughs, if his brother drops a picture he's been colouring, DS will walk on it, he'll walk on his coat, my coat, etc. He'll take the pillows off my bed, and I will tell him to please put them back, he'll look at me defiantly and throw them over the railing down to the first floor and then laugh - or say something like "ha ha, you can't get it". Last night he came in and wumped me with a pillow over the head.
Other times, he is very sweet, kind, caring, considerate, sensitive, so some of these behaviors are not expected (and are getting worse after DH has been letting him watch horrible cartoons meant for teenagers on tv! arg!!).
He told me to shut up the other day. He will take a cup of water and purposefully pour it on the floor, even if I ask him not to.
I just don't know what to do about this behavior. I got a call from his school last week that he is being disrespectful to the teachers and disruptive to the class. I tell him it's not acceptable, I try explaining why, I try role playing good behaviour, talk about making good choices instead of bad ones, nothing seems to sink in. He is just so rude and disrespectful. It makes me really really sad and scared that this is who my sweet little boy is becoming. Other parents have started excluding him from birthday parties and play dates, and I'm sure it's because of his bad language and behaviour.
What leverage can I have? I don't like the idea of sending him to his room, and if I did I am not sure he would care. I can't think of anything he would care enough about if I took it away, (like a toy or something). But I feel like I need some leverage as a consequence of bad behaviour. I try to think about natural consequences but I don't feel like they are strong enough - I'm not sure he'd care if he found out he was being excluded from a bday party because he was rude. I make him clean up messes he makes on purpose, but what is a natural consequence of throwing a dirty diaper at his dad's face? Or hitting me over the head with a pillow, or calling his little brother names? Or walking on his brother's picture or coat?
Help!!! I want to help him become a better person but I don't know how. I've decided we are unplugging all of the tv's and it will become a priviledge that has to be earned with good behaviour. That's all I can think of. Again, not sure it will work though - he will just plug it back in and keep turning it on, or sneak down and turn it on.
The book does a good job in describing how and when to use a chart and what it means to be specific.
