Sheeeesh, the WHINING!!

[Pepe]

Is it a 4yo trait or is my DS just a basketcase? Historically, he's been a very mellow guy, no big tantrums, really, no "terrible twos," pretty reasonable kiddo, quite verbal so able to work things out and nice self-control most of the time...but lately, the whining, and the falling apart at the drop of a hat! Yikes, it is trying my patience.

So: how do you cope with whining? We try to urge him to use a DEEP, LOW VOICE, which sometimes makes him giggle. Today, though, it was the...emotional frailty getting to me. He was getting really teary and frustrated, stomping off, even sticking out his tongue (which he has never done before!) whenever something disappointed him or even when he slipped and fell on the floor (not hurt). This was when his same-age cousin was over to play and things were going swimmingly.

You know, he is VERY hungry and growing like a weed right now, so it's quite possible that he's extra tired and that factor is not helping.

Somebody please give me some ideas for nurturing this little guy (unless, of course, I have ruined him with kindness).

[rainbowmoon]

My 4yo is seemingly going through the same thing. She has always been pretty mellow but all of the sudden just whiny as can be at times!!!! ugh!!!!!!! We encourage her to use her words. Sometimes a bath might calm her..

She has just recently stopped napping and having a growth spurt, so I think that is part of it.

[HappyMommy2]

My just-turned-four is the same way. Used to be my mellow little dude. I have found that taking him for a walk or getting immediately out to play in the backyard can derail the intense emotional behavior.

[Pepe]

Anyone have any tips? There seem to be quite a few of us rowing this boat.

[CageFreeFamily]

Your description sounds very much like my 7yo. He has truly exceptional verbal skills and never really had anything that could be called a tantrum. All in all it always felt very much like living with a little grown-up.... sometimes more like a litigator

Somewhere around 6 or so he started whining though. Oy! These days I swear he will whine and complain from the time he gets up until he goes to bed at night. It's often really unreasonable too, growing in it's lack of reason as the day progresses.

What I've learned is that it is usually a combination of not eating/drinking enough and feeling like he needs more attention. With two little girls, an almost 3yo and a newborn, this can be a difficult need to meet sometimes.

I have found that even a small burst of playful parenting (ignoring the whining) can fill his cup up enough to stop the whining for a couple of hours.
Whenever I can, to prevent the return of those needy feelings, I try to involve him in what I have to do: making lunch, changing the baby, putting the soap in the laundry, mixing cleaners,etc. Anything that I can make room and patience for him to help...
This generally leads to boredom with what I'm working on and he drifts off to do his own thing or play with his sister while I finish up.

I mix the attention giving up to allow myself to also take care of the two younger kids and keep my sanity and house clean. I try to involve them in singing songs, play games that I can keep up with while also doing something else... like I Spy, guessing games, etc.

Food can be a big factor for us as well. Sugar and gluten can make things more difficult, as can a drop in protein. Usually a good snack high in protein and fats will make a big difference in the remainder of our day. Smoked salmon and cheese, sardine salad and crackers, PB and fruit, a quick smoothie with nuts, seeds and coconut oil or coconut milk go a long way.

Other times the trouble is CLEARLY a need for physical exertion. This is the one he is most resistant to. It is very tough to get him to expend the amount of energy that he really needs to, despite us living on 300 acres in the national forest. The kid just won't play outside without me.
So in the winter when I can't drag them all out for a hike (we live in the mountains and it's 20 degrees during the day) I devise games that use up some of that built up energy. I encourage them to take the cushions off the sofa and jump on it. We put the twin mattress on the floor and they put on "gymnastics shows." I ask them to act as crazy as they can without moving around the room and then choose "The Craziest" and move on to round two.

etc. etc. etc....
hope this helps some!

[peaceful_mama]

OMG....I have one who just turned 5 and one who is almost 3, BOTH of them are into this--one STILL and one STARTING. I'm ready to buy earplugs...
I also live in winter-ville, 20 degrees is a GOOD day here, if you don't have wind.