Nanny vs childcare outside of the home - other than $, how did you choose? - Page 2

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

To me it was all about flexability and one on one attention.

I liked having a nanny because:

the hours were on *my* terms. I didn't have to adhere to a open/close schedule.

my sons schedule was based on *his* needs not on the needs of the childcare center/home. He napped, was fed, changed etc when he needed it.

No preparation and no morning rush!!! no diaper bags, extra clothes, diapers to pack.

No having to get dressed, into coats. in the morning, doing the same at night to go home

No having to allow xtra time for drop off/pick up so more quality time at home and less time in car.

No transferring of breast milk so no waste

My parenting ideals were upheld. My son was worn a lot. We are on the same page regarding GD, TV, etc

I had someone to do his laundry, start dinner, do errands. HUGE time and sanity saver

She could bring him to me whenever I wanted. Another time and sanity saver!

Out side time whenever, library whenever, play time whenever

I know there are childcare centers/homes that can do these things but there is something to be said about being in his own home, on his own schedule that really appealed to me.

This exactly!

We have a nanny and it has been wonderful - very little stress in the mornings and we get to have dinner at a decent time. If I had to pick up DD from a daycare and DS from an afterschool program, we wouldn't get home until 6:15pm. Then I'd have to start dinner and we wouldn't eat until 7pm. There would be no time for us to spend as a family at night.

Plus, DD gets to get out and do activities. They go to the library, pump it up, ice skating, etc.

[JessieBird]

I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to jump in on all of your thoughtful replies - I really appreciate all the input and it has been so interesting to read everyone's decisions. I think all of the pros and cons of each scenario I considered have been mentioned and I'm no closer to knowing what is really right for us. However, now that it is another two or three weeks into our experience with the private in-home DCP, I am really happy with how it is going. It's true that there is no oversight and that is the biggest thing that bothers me about it but everything else - the other kids, the CP, the toys, the routine, the food - is perfect for DS. Also, the mom of the other boy there is a really close friend of mine and we compare notes all the time. This gives me great peace of mind.

I've decided to stay put and not pursue the nanny idea for now both because I'm happy with our choice after all and also because we've decided it's going to be temporary. Having me working outside the home just doesn't feel right to DH and I and we're struggling as a family. I've decided to take an extended leave of absence as of May.

More about that in another post but for now just a big thanks for taking the time, this thread was helpful to me and I know it will be to others trying to make the same decision!

[eccomama]

after having gone thru this with my dd, i would say that a nanny would be my preference for a child up to 16-18 months. i think after that age they benefit from being in a social setting.

having said that dd went to a small homecare (1 caregiver and a total of 6 part-time babies/toddlers) when she was 14 months. i couldn't find a nanny or nanny share situation that i liked. and also i felt that at that age dd could benefit from being around other kids, social and emotional development. for me it worked out. the homecare was in a studio next to the owner's house, there was a big backyard lined with that soft stuff with lots of shade, toys, etc. dd weaned off the bottle by 16 months, off the paci by 18 months and was toilet trained by ~2.5 yrs. nothing like peer pressure. dd also learned how to interact with other kids of different ages, tried different foods, toys and activites (some messy stuff that i rather not do at home). and i could drop in anytime i wanted. the daycare lady was closed for two weeks at christmas.

[dawningmama]

I am returning this thread with quite a few posts removed. If you see that your post has disappeared and you have not heard from me directly, it is likely because your post, while not a violation of the UA itself, was quoting or responding to a post that had to be removed. Feel free to pm me with any specific concerns or questions.

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and that the sticky at the top of this forum reminds us

As a general reminder, most members that are going back to work, working, or challenged with the balancing act, do not regard it as helpful for other members to ask if they can stay at home instead of working! (edited with addition by Lauren)

So, in the spirit of Mothering.com, we are all Mothers, and we all Work, whether we be SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, or some combination of those. This forum, however, is devoted to the special needs and circumstances of "Working Mamas

Please PM me if you have any further questions or concerns. Thanks

[HollyBearsMom]

Thank you Dawningmama!! I appreciate your quick response

[siobhang]

after years of au pairs and a nanny, we are now looking seriously at a daycare center that also has afterschool care. The main reason is that now that our boys are older, they want to be involved in more activities and socializing and the center is perfect for that. It is a community center with a pool, lessons and classes, in addition to the preschool curriculum for my youngest (my oldest will be in 1st grade).

Nannys and au pairs were wonderful in terms of schedule - very responsive to our needs, no commuting to start care. But there is also a single point of failure, which can be concerning.

Of course, daycare won't take sick kids so regardless, you gotta have backup plans.

[almadianna]

I think that it depends on if you have a nanny that you can trust or not. I have known our nanny for around 20 years because her kids and I grew up together. She is crunchy and always has been. I even have her on my facebook friends and she posts pics through the day sometimes of what they are up to for my husband and I to see. I show up at random times often because that is how my schedule is and I find them either all asleep in bed asleep together, eating, playing, she is reading to them, etc. She has been with us for years and loves my kids like they were her own grandkids. She does not have young children to take care of anymore and she is close to us.

Because I have known her for so long and grew up with her kids I know that she does not scream, she does not spank, she knows how to deal with breastfeeding babies, she babywears, and cooks every single day.

I am super paranoid but I trust her so to me it does not matter that there is no supervision of her.

I think that if we were in a different situation I would not feel the same way. But for me this was key, the trust.

[DesireeH]

We use a center too. My children are not infants though. I initially went to the center because they have drop in hours (I have a weird schedule, usually my husband can "switch" with me so they only have to go part time.) It's a highly visible location and it just "felt" the safest for my area if that makes sense. I walked past the windows a bunch of times to spy and the kids all looked to be having fun. My oldest goes to school so he doesnt need care as much but he also tells me everything so I had them go together first for an hour just to "test it out." I got rave reviews from the kids so went with it. My youngest has gone there for a little over a year and she says "YAY!" when I tell her we are going to daycare so I know she likes it. LOL Twice she has pretended she didnt see me because she wanted to stay longer and finish her art project or singing. While that is a major diss to me (LOL!) it does make me happy to know she enjoys it.

If I had started care when they were infants I think I might have looked for in my home care but I'm a big "go with your gut" kind of person. If the children seem HAPPY and well cared for, whose house or center they are at doesnt really matter IMO so long as they are with good people.