any wiccans ever feel like jesus (or a jesus energy) is trying to recruit them?

[meandk0610]

i'm in an odd place right now. on top of a bad marriage and constant stress, i recently found out i have abnormalities in both breasts. my biopsies are scheduled for the 16th and i get the results on the 21st. i've already been told by the office doing 1 breast (different types of problems) that they've never had to do one on a breastfeeding mother so they're a little concerned.

anyhoo, my regular doc (nurse practioner) told me on my recent appt with her that she cried after my previous appt about 1.5 months prior (due to anxiety & panic attack that sent me to the ER) and that she, not as a medical practioner but as a person, really felt strongly that Jesus was trying to reach me and feeling so much compassion for what i was going through and everything i've been through.

last week, i received a free VIP ticket to a gospel concert.

a few days ago, i turned on Celtic Woman on PBS and they were singing Amazing Grace. significant to me because i've busted out singing that song before the deaths of three of my grandparents (before it became obvious they were going to die). my mother actually made me leave the room when i started singing it in the the room with her mother.

then i saw the thread about Christians with pagan leanings, and i'm wondering now what is going on? i've been through enough bad experiences with men that i will never be able to go back to a male-based religion and i have a hard time including the male side of diety in Wiccan practice. i guess i mostly see the male side as the fighter/procreator and that's it.

i think i'm rambling but if anyone has any thoughts to share, i'd appreciate it.

[genifer]

Hey, I read this and wanted to respond. Ill say first off that Im a christian, not pagan, so I hope you dont write me off bc of that. I would say that what you are experiencing with feeling Jesus is 'trying to recruit' you... thats a real thing. I would say run with it, but I would bc Im a christian and this is actually how I was kind of 'recruited'. I wasnt hounded by any individual person, it was Christ himself. I also understand your misgivings. Not necessarily the male-based religion part but we all have what I will call 'baggage', stuff thats 'damaged' us in one way or another, and Im no exception. I would love to talk more about it with ya actually. The only thing I will say upfront is that Jesus first of all will want to deal with ya. He'll want to deal and heal a lot of the hurt you've experienced. He also wants those who are willing to know Him and accept him as he is, for who he said he was, is and will always be. He does love you, he does have eternal compassion for you. The thing is, and I dont want to scare you off, but he wants all of you. He'll want to walk you thru what you're going thru now, but he wants more of you and for you then what he'll bring you through right now (with your medical issues). That much we cant imagine till we give him that chance.

If you can let go of the stigma that is attached to christianity, the stick we get, Jesus Christ ... he really is amazing... words dont do him justice.

Big (((BIG))) Hugs...
gen

[SunshineJ]

Hugs! Go with your heart on this. Mine personally would be saying to run as far and fast away as possible due to past experiences with Christianity, but my experiences are not yours. Honestly I don't think it's fair to you for me to come here and lay down how great one side or the other is - not to mention it's actually possible on some paths to be both pagan and a Christian. But I will say I wish you luck in figuring things out, peace with your decisions, and supportive thoughts during this rough time in your life.

[greenmagick]

you can really only answer this question for yourself. When I discovered withcraft and paganism, it just fit, and I knew that I was home. If it doesnt fit this way for you, maybe it just doesnt fit.

I am one to take signs as meaningful, but again, it has to be meaningful to you. All the things you described to me would be annoyances, but if they feel real to you, go with it.

I do think though that sometimes people who were raised christian never fully break and in times of stress etc it seems to be easier to go with the flow and majority opinion. Not saying this is right or wrong, but what I have noticed.

[zonapellucida]

I did. I was a practicing Wiccan and God called me for his purpose, one that I am still trying to figure out but am comforted daily in his presence. My badest day as a Christian is better than my pworse day as a Wiccan.

[Purple Sage]

Maybe you're noticing so many signs of Jesus around you because we live in a predominantly Christian society. I see those signs all around me, too, but I don't feel like it's Jesus speaking directly to me...I just think it's because there's a church on every corner and it's so acceptable to be a Christian that people don't think much about talking to people about it.

I'm not Wiccan (dabbled for a while, but it wasn't for me) but follow another pagan path, and I also notice signs of my Gods all around me. I didn't really notice it before, but ever since I felt a calling toward this particular path, I see them everywhere. So it's also possible that you're now noticing these signs because you're feeling a calling to that religion.

I do think it's important that the religion you choose matches up with where you are on your path. If you need more female energy in your spiritual life, honor that in whatever way works for you.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by meandk0610

anyhoo, my regular doc (nurse practioner) told me on my recent appt with her that she cried after my previous appt about 1.5 months prior (due to anxiety & panic attack that sent me to the ER) and that she, not as a medical practioner but as a person, really felt strongly that Jesus was trying to reach me and feeling so much compassion for what i was going through and everything i've been through.

Y'know I was thinking about this while I was sewing and I honestly think I'd be highly offended by that. One of the tenants of Christianity is that as a Christian it is part of your job to go out and recruit more people to your faith. It really sounds like she's using her position to..I don't want to use the word "prey" as I'm sure there's no malicious intent on her part, but hopefully you get the idea. Anyway it sounds like she's using "insider info" to target people who are going through rough times and try to get them to the Christian faith. If it were a less accepted faith she was representing, let's go to the extreme and say Satanism, would you feel Satan was calling you or that this was ok? I particularly find that example as really, really disturbing and inappropriate on the NP's behalf. While I was a Christian I would have felt the same way.

[LionTigerBear]

I was Pagan/wiccan when Jesus "recruited" me.

It was intense. No (mortal) third party was involved. Just me and several spirits and God. No drugs or other mind-altering substances involved, either, lol. I've never experienced anything like it since then.

You can PM if you'd like to "hear" my story. I've actually shared it on this forum before, but it was years ago and it's probably buried really well by now.

[Purple Sage]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

Y'know I was thinking about this while I was sewing and I honestly think I'd be highly offended by that. One of the tenants of Christianity is that as a Christian it is part of your job to go out and recruit more people to your faith. It really sounds like she's using her position to..I don't want to use the word "prey" as I'm sure there's no malicious intent on her part, but hopefully you get the idea. Anyway it sounds like she's using "insider info" to target people who are going through rough times and try to get them to the Christian faith. If it were a less accepted faith she was representing, let's go to the extreme and say Satanism, would you feel Satan was calling you or that this was ok? I particularly find that example as really, really disturbing and inappropriate on the NP's behalf. While I was a Christian I would have felt the same way.

I thought the same thing, but it's probably because I've been reading lately about the (what I consider) immoral ways that some missionaries in places like India and Africa work to convert people. It's sad, really.

[Bluegoat]

I think if music is something that really reaches you, it might be one way of exploring this. It can be a very powerful medium - enough so that one should be careful that they don't just get bowled over by the emotions. But it can be one good way to begin to look at Christianity, which has several wonderful musical traditions.

Also - it's hard to say where your bad experiences with men could lead if you decided to explore this. I know Christians who do not easily relate to masculine figures for similar reasons. There is really no way past Jesus being a man, but God of course is not a man, really. Many such people find they have a strong connection with Mary, which is easier in some traditions than others. But another possibility is that this can sometimes be a way of healing, at least to some extent, those kinds of wounds. Maybe not, but you never know.

[meandk0610]

thanks for all the insightful replies.

i'm really sure i don't want to go back to christianity. i'm also pretty sure that the energy trying to get my attention is male. maybe i just assumed it was jesus because of what the NP said and then receiving the ticket in the mail?

the only male god i've ever felt kind of drawn to is amun, but i've always associated him with fertility.

any psychics want to tell me what they hay's going on?

edit to add: i looked up the book "The Witch In Every Woman" mentioned on the Christians with Pagan leanings thread and actually cried while i was reading the excerpt that Amazon lets you look at. her description of knowing things, using her intuition, etc when she was young and then noticing the decline in those abilities as she got older and was more influenced by the general maleness of our culture (my words and interpretation) really hit home for me. i tried when i was 14 to go back to the goddess, but my mother literally threatened to kick me out of the house if i continued reading books about wicca and witchcraft. it took me until i reached my 30s to start to reconnect. i don't know why i added this part, but it just felt right so there you go.

[Purple Sage]

One male deity that your OP made me think of is Apollo. He's the god of music, healing, disease, and prophecy, all of which seem to fit your situation well. Of course, he's also one of the deities that I'm most fond of, so take it for what it's worth.

ETA: This YouTube video always inspires me.

[peacelove]

Just a few more suggestions if you are feeling the pull to try to connect with a male energy:

The Green Man/ The Wildman - from Celtic mythology He can have a very healing energy, both physically and emotionally. I have seen him described as the energy flowing through the tree of life.

Cernunnos - also in Celtic mythology [quote from wikipedia: Modern Druidry, which derives from Celtic culture, honors Cernunnos in his ancient Celto-European form as the guardian of the forests, the defender of the animal tuatha (tribes), the source of the deep forest wisdom, and the masculine half of creative energy. His restorative work in the cycle of the year is particularly celebrated at Beltaine, and is often paired with one or another of the female deities in her maiden aspect. Druids may call upon him in reference to vital, non-violent masculine divinity]

Good luck! I wish you all the best. Blessings to you and healing energy as well!

[bobandjess99]

My dh is a Catholic/Christian Witch. His religion is a blending of Witchcraft and Catholicism/Christianity. He does not have any issues blending the 2. It was difficult at first for him to follow the path, but he has found online support. He is a Witch...who happens to believe in Jesus. He is extremely devout and religious/spiritual.
I don't explain it well, sorry...I barely begin to try and understand, I'm an atheist, lol.

[meandk0610]

Originally Posted by Purple Sage

One male deity that your OP made me think of is Apollo. He's the god of music, healing, disease, and prophecy, all of which seem to fit your situation well. Of course, he's also one of the deities that I'm most fond of, so take it for what it's worth.

ETA: This YouTube video always inspires me.

thanks for the link. i just watched it and read his Wiki info. between the video and the Wiki entry, it looks like most of what's ascribed to jesus could have originally been apollo (and probably some other god before that).

i got to the part of the video where they are telling what he's usually associated with, and on the second screen it says he's a bringer of artistic inspiration. for about the past month, the urge to paint (i don't normally paint) has practically been driving me insane. it's there whenever i stop worrying long enough to listen.

the part about living out the "family curse" from one's childhood or heritage, and that he is the breaker of the curse, seems to go with what i've got going on.

also, the part about using music to heal. i've been gathering healing/relaxing music for the past couple of months - seriously the past 2 weeks by sitting in the library and looking stuff up while waiting on dd to play.

can you provide any favorite links for learning more about his various aspects/duties?

i'll have to listen inside and see how this fit feels.

[meandk0610]

Originally Posted by peacelove

Just a few more suggestions if you are feeling the pull to try to connect with a male energy:

The Green Man/ The Wildman - from Celtic mythology He can have a very healing energy, both physically and emotionally. I have seen him described as the energy flowing through the tree of life.

Cernunnos - also in Celtic mythology [quote from wikipedia: Modern Druidry, which derives from Celtic culture, honors Cernunnos in his ancient Celto-European form as the guardian of the forests, the defender of the animal tuatha (tribes), the source of the deep forest wisdom, and the masculine half of creative energy. His restorative work in the cycle of the year is particularly celebrated at Beltaine, and is often paired with one or another of the female deities in her maiden aspect. Druids may call upon him in reference to vital, non-violent masculine divinity]

Good luck! I wish you all the best. Blessings to you and healing energy as well!

i'll check about Cernunnos. honestly, though, i think i have a hard time connecting to Celtic energy. when i try, it feels like i'm a tornado and the other energy is a tornado. it feels kind of scattered, maybe too much power? if that makes any sense? though i wonder what would happen if i could get the tornado(e)s to meld together?

i am of celtic origin so one would think that would be the place for me to look.

[Nazsmum]

I am christian. I read your story and I want you to know I will pray for you.

[JamieCatheryn]

When I first turned to the Christian God, God appeared to me as a feminine figure (Genesis says God is both ya know). I pledged myself to her, giving over leadership of my life as well my magical influence to her because I trusted this God, bigger and outside of anything in the universe I'd understood before, to know better than me and run it better. Then I started reading the Bible and found out more about Jesus and grace. I found this Christianity thing I'd heard and decided was all about keeping people in their place and making sure the men ran things was actually about stuff between me and God and that I really believed it all happened.

Then I found it easy to put everything ever weighing on me right, and found people who were true friends and family in Christ, found somewhere I really trusted in to turn in trouble or anxiety. At first it was hard though, spiritual and supernatural stuff seemed to haunt me, I wanted to do cleansing stuff and battle it myself, but I prayed instead and it took really fervent persistent prayer sometimes to make some of it go away. I thought I was going insane actually. But then it was over and the blessings and peace get better and better as time goes on.

I'm being vague but not I guess, PM me if you want to talk any more.

[Purple Sage]

Originally Posted by meandk0610

thanks for the link. i just watched it and read his Wiki info. between the video and the Wiki entry, it looks like most of what's ascribed to jesus could have originally been apollo (and probably some other god before that).

i got to the part of the video where they are telling what he's usually associated with, and on the second screen it says he's a bringer of artistic inspiration. for about the past month, the urge to paint (i don't normally paint) has practically been driving me insane. it's there whenever i stop worrying long enough to listen.

the part about living out the "family curse" from one's childhood or heritage, and that he is the breaker of the curse, seems to go with what i've got going on.

also, the part about using music to heal. i've been gathering healing/relaxing music for the past couple of months - seriously the past 2 weeks by sitting in the library and looking stuff up while waiting on dd to play.

can you provide any favorite links for learning more about his various aspects/duties?

i'll have to listen inside and see how this fit feels.

I find it interesting that the parts of the video that resonated with you were the same parts that did with me. I also noticed the parallels with Jesus, and I'm sure there are other gods that fit this description well, too, like the Egyptian god Horus.

Here's a few more links....I love this subject so much I could pull up links all day, but I have to get to work so here's just a few.

This site is good, especially this page.

One blog - it hasn't been updated recently, but the older entries are good.

A good overview.

More in depth on the myths.

[philomom]

To the Op, how's the spiritual quest going?