Am I making my dd overtired??

[kdescalzi]

Hi mamas,

I need your advice! My dd is just over 6mo and seems to always be tired and cranky. Sometimes I think she is getting sick, teething, going through seperation anxiety etc. But in the end, it usually is that she just wants to go back to sleep. The reason I think it is my fault is because I let her use me as her pacifier all night long. She wakes over and over again in the night looking for her paci aka my boob! I have done nothing to teach her to sleep without my nipple in her mouth simply because I want her to be happy and trust me nothing makes her more happy than nursing She has such distrupted sleep all night long, sometimes every hour. Am I causing her to be overtired by continuing this? She sometimes has 6 naps a day still because she is such a cat napper. I feel so bad that she is always tired and needing yet another nap which is always on me! Any tips advice would be greatly appreciated. Please tell me if I should be doing something to help her get more sleep.

[Cartesia]

nak

no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley

[SollysMom]

Adults wake several times throughout the night too, but know how to put themselves back to sleep. If your daughter isn't FULLY waking up each time, just latching on and falling right back asleep, I suspect that it's not harming her.

Now, as another cosleeping/sleep-nursing mother (my DS is 2 and I'm expecting #2 this month), I can say that if YOU are having trouble with her always needing to be latched on to sleep, then it might be worth it to try to make a change. We've attempted to nightwean my 2-year-old a few times and it's been a real struggle, and PERHAPS it would have been a little easier if we found other ways to get him to sleep when he was younger (though I honestly just think he's a difficult sleeper). You could try reading NCSS as the PP suggested, which has some helpful ideas. You could also try wearing her to sleep in a sling or wrap. And, while I wouldn't recommend this for a 6-month-old, Dr. Sears' nightweaning method involves "crying in dad's arms" - meaning letting Daddy take over the nightwakings, knowing that if she cries in the arms of a loving parent it is not the same thing as CIO.

[pdxmamma]

I am having the same problem with my three month old. It seems like every time she wakes up at night from a sleep cycle she wants to nurse back to sleep. If I am not nearby she will start crying. She was sleeping 2-3 hours at a time up until 2 weeks ago and now suddenly she is waking every 45 minutes or so to nurse. She is also tired and fussy most of the day and needs long naps. Is there anything I can do at this age to prevent worse problems later? She has never slept on her own, only in bed with us. For daytime naps she only naps in a carrier.

[kdescalzi]

PP....dd only sleeps with us in bed and in a carrier for naps so I am right there with you. We sleep like this because this works and it is what she wants. I don't know if this has caused her sleep habits she has now or not. My feeling is that if she only sleeps on my boob than what else can I do?? I want to sleep with her and I would not mind waking even every 2-3 hours to nurse....I just want her to get off my nipple afterwards so that I can get comfortable and sleep.kwim?? My concern is that because I am doing nothing to change her sleep habits am I actually causing her to have an unhealthy amount of sleep?? My family and some friends keep asking me why I don't do anything to get her to sleep on her own. Maybe I am just too scared to see her upset? I just need some commiseration and /or validation for my choices. If any of you smart mamas out there told me that yes, I should be helping her sleep a bit without my boob because she is getting too tired I would listen to you

[kdescalzi]

Anybody else?? Come on mamas, I need your help!!

[Bokonon]

I agree with the No-Cry Sleep Solution suggestion.

What you are going through is not unusual for a co-sleeping, breastfeeding pair. The NCSS has tips for how to gently change this. It takes a couple of weeks, but it does work.

When your LO wakes up from naps, do you get her up or try to get her back to sleep? My baby often starts crying 10-15 minutes after I've put her down, and I have to re-feed her to get her to go back to sleep. I try this even when she's been napping for an hour, and it usually works.

[Picard]

I have found that as DS (19 months) was getting older, he would nurse and then latch off and turn around to go back to sleep on his own. I have done nothing to discourage him from nursing throughout the night. Sometimes he nurses frequently, other times less so. It's still up and down, really. I often find that when he is teething, he will nurse very frequently.

With regards to napping, I suppose that some infants need more sleep than others. Maybe time how long your baby stays awake between naps and then try to lengthen it by increments of 5-10 minutes over the course of a week or so. This may phase out a nap or two.

[justKate]

No Cry Sleep Solution, as a PP mentioned, at least step 1.

Start bed time routine at 7:00, if your LO seems over tired. This is as much as I've accomplished so far....

And, while I wouldn't recommend this for a 6-month-old, Dr. Sears' nightweaning method involves "crying in dad's arms" - meaning letting Daddy take over the nightwakings, knowing that if she cries in the arms of a loving parent it is not the same thing as CIO.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend this either, but DD (now at 10 months) will sometimes go to sleep in 10 minutes for Daddy after screaming at me for 2 hours. So as long as you know she's not hungry/scared/needing to suck, letting Daddy/Partner/Grandma give it a try might not be a bad idea, especially if it helps preserve your sanity.

Good luck. I wish I could say it always gets easier!