in need of a little support, encouragement, as the big day arrives...

[VeezieTG]

2 months ago i would have given a million arguments as to why i'm planning a UC for this birth, and why we've UP'd. but now, with mil, brothers, father, friends, even mere acquaintances having all given me their 2 cents about it, i find the negativity sticking in my head... i do NOT want to look back now and go to a mw or hospital. let me make that clear. i would if i NEEDED to, (a medical emergency or some symptom of one coming), but i don't NEED to so i don't WANT to... but having all of my pregnancy monitoring depending on just me, i feel so inadequate all of a sudden. today is my "due date" (not that that means much to me) and i keep thinking that they are all right and i'm not a professional and what am i going to do???

now, from a cerebral stand-point, i have done all the research i think i need. i know my body and have had 3 normal, vaginal births already. my bf is majorly supportive. my kids are majorly supportive (not that they have a choice, since this all that's "normal" to them). but emotionally, psychologically... i'm kind of a mess...

i'm just looking for some support and encouragement. maybe some advice. did anyone else go through this on their first UC? reading all the amazing birth stories on this board helps. reading my own ddc on here doesn't so much. trying to filter what i let in, but VERY difficult for me, since i'm one of those people who listen to every point of view, even if just to debate it. and even tho i'm still listing off the same reasons of why we're doing it this way, i'm still taking in this bad energy from those around me (some of whom i really cannot separate from) and find myself awake at night listing all the things that can go wrong and how to handle them.

ok, thats all. i'm going to try to rest and retarget my energy to the beautiful thing me and my baby are about to do... looking forward to hearing what you guys have to say. TIA.

[Ruthla]

My guess is that labor isn't far off if you're getting this emotional!

You know your body better than any "professional" ever could. You don't need somebody outside of you to second-guess you or your baby's safety or readiness to be born.

Go ahead and shield yourself from negativity, you don't need to debate with anybody right now. Go ahead and shield yourself from "neutral stuff' too- you only need positive stories to boost your confidence.

[zoebird]

i found that as i got closer to my due date, i couldn't read *anything* other than UC stuff. it's kind of funny, but i went into a sort of bubble in, say, the last week before the birth.

i didn't think that i couldn't do it or was wrong somehow, but i found other's fears and concerns really difficult to bear (whether on pregnancy in general, their own pregnancies, or whatever).

i just sort of insulated myself and i didn't talk to unsopportive people (family or otherwise), and i just did what i needed to do. it helped (or did it?) that my computer needed repairs and i kept going back to the repair shop to be like "give me my computer!" because they said "oh, three days" and that became nearly 3 weeks! i had to harass them fo the computer, and as it was, we didn't have it at the time of the birth even! so, i think that was a good thing too.

i also didn't expect to birth on my due date. i ended up birthing on my due date, but i didn't have any sense or signal that i would start labor when i did. the thursday before, i was up and about and everything normal, so i was sure i'd go another week. and then at 12:30 am (after having only gone to bed at 11:30), everything got started and it was a lovely birth.

so, just keep to the positive, insulate yourself as much as you need to, and have a great birth!

[PreggieUBA2C]

I am a very introverted woman and don't find the negativity of others to sway me, but I do feel drained by it. During my first anticipated uc and subsequently, I have holed up and just walked away in a flighty sort of way when people started talking about their ideas and how they only wanted to protect me (as though I was choosing uc out of ignorance... ). My dh was oftentimes left behind to politely hear them out, but he handled it by concluding with things like,"She's prepared and aware. She's the only expert there is about her body. Relax; she'll be fine."

If you can walk, glaze over and walk away. As long as you're not in a huff about it, but just sort of floating away, you may have a similar experience to mine; people stop talking when they finally realise you're not listening to them anymore.

You must conserve your energy and positivity for your awaited birth and face-to-face meeting with your little one. Think of yourself as protecting yourself and your baby and your family. Be mama bear. You can.

[VeezieTG]

thanks.

maybe it is just that i am little more emotional. but it doesn't help that all of my closest family members are medical professionals. LOL. mil has been a nurse for 40 years. one brother was an emt and the other is a medic in the navy. my mil is better than my brothers. which is good since she's our closest family member and will most likely be here when we labor, if we need help with the boys...

i will try to stay only on uc-friendly sites and stuff. it makes me feel good to read some of the birth stories... i KNOW i can do it. i just really need to let go of the suggestions of things that can go wrong that some people feel the need to bombard me with. and it IS as if people think i've chosen this because i'm ignorant, or because i'll refuse to go to a dr. at all costs. (how many times do i hear, "if something seems wrong, please go see someone!" and i'm like, "duh.")

anyhow, thanks for the support and encouragement!

[MyBoysBlue]

When I was pregnant I read a lot of births stories about quick births. I was convinced that was how it would be for me and it was. The last week I focused on reading positive UC stories, it really banished the worries.

Here's my story:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=669634

[zoebird]

that's wild, MBB. i had a sense that my labor/birth would be 24 hrs, and it was exactly 24 hrs!

[inertia]

I'm in this boat now after telling my family about my plans. Now I feel like I just should have kept my mouth shut. But I realize that its important not to internalize their opinions. If I had been the type of person to do that then I would probably be having a hospital birth with an OB, which is what I don't want.