Tell me about NOT being spanked as a child - Page 2

[SoxMama]

Both DH and I come from households that did not spank. None of my cousins grew up being spanked either so I was surrounded by family that did not use physical discipline.

I don't really remember being disciplined as a young child. As I got older I was grounded occasionally which IMO was appropriate for doing what I did wrong. My stepdad was a bit of a yeller but he would normally come to my room later and apologize and then we would talk things out. My biggest deterrent was the fear of disappointing my parents, especially my mom. I wanted their approval and that alone pretty much kept me in line.

I can't fathom the thought of spanking my own children. It's so abnormal to me and it's exceptionally nice to have a DH on the same page. We both have great relationships with our parents.

[DevaMajka]

I was spanked, but dp wasn't. His parents are very "kids are people too and deserve respect."
I found a copy of Parent Effectiveness Training (by Thomas Gordon, I believe)on their bookshelf that was given to them when dp was a baby

Dp is definitely a good person (Imnsho)- respectful, caring, considerate, gentle.

Interestingly enough, the idea of spanking is mind boggling to him. He still doesn't believe that very many people do it. He just doesn't get why anyone would think it's a good idea.

[MtBikeLover]

I was spanked as a child by my dad so I can't answer your question. But I wanted to respond to this:

Originally Posted by coraljean

you are totally within your rights to say: "No, I refuse to allow you to spank our child. I do not agree with it."

My mom was a very GD parent - my dad was the spanker. My mom has told me numerous times that she regrets that she let him spank me.

I agree with Coral Jean - I think you should take charge and say "You aren't allowed to spank our child anymore." If he still does it, then at least you know that you tried everything in your power to stop it. You might end up with regrets later in life if you don't.

ETA - Now that I have finished reading this thread, I think all of the stories that have been shared are fantastic!! It just makes me even more glad that I have chosen not to use corporal punishment with my kids.

[Wild Lupine]

I can't give a personal anecdote, not from my own life anyway. But if your husband is the kind that listens to scientific research, you might find this article useful.