Help me break the TV addiction!

[dentmom]

My 5 yo DS has always been attached to the tv. Now my 2 yo DD is as well. It can't be good, I know that. I can cancel cable-we just don't care about it at all. My DH and I have agreed that we need books and the internet to be happy.
Here's the dilemma, I guess. I can't constantly entertain them. For one we have a new baby coming in ~8 weeks and he will keep me busy. I also work PT and have a nanny here so I will need to lay down new ground rules for her as well. So:
Should we go cold turkey? Can anyone suggest activities for us? I try to get them into coloring and crafts (not working); so many toys go untouched. I am just so tired and emotional right now and feel like we are failing with this.

[zinemama]

Yes, you should go cold turkey. Yes, there is no reason for you to constantly entertain them. And believe me, they will figure out how to entertain themselves if TV isn't around to do it for them. Kids are very smart that way.

I don't think you need to come up with activities for them. A 5yo is quite old enough to think of stuff to do on his own, and I'm sure he has plenty of toys and such around. (Does he have Legos?) And if I know anything about 2yos, your dd will follow his lead.

You may be in for some heavy duty whining when you cold turkey it. But it's much better to get that out of the way before the baby comes.

Just memorize the following:

Kid: But there's nothing to doooooooo!
You: Gosh, that sounds like a problem for you to solve, doesn't it?

Good luck.

[dentmom]

Thank you. My DS does LOVE his Legos. They both like to help me cook and clean as well and I'm hoping they will want to do stuff for the new baby too. They also have a Woody Click dollhouse they like to play together.
Do you think tv can be used as a treat once in a while?

[number572]

YES, I also say go cold turkey. Its so nice not to see it + if it is there in the room, or limited watching is allowed, it kind of dilutes the joy of going NO TV, as it may feel more like a discipline than a freedom. Out of sight, out of mind. We still watch a few documentaries/concerts/instructional vids/important news/etc, but we watch online & haven't had a tv/cable connected for years & love it.

Life is so short - is what brought us to the idea at first. IMExperience, there are way deeper/more fun memories to make and things to experience than sitting & watching someone else's "movie".


huh, i'm forward slash queen today

[dentmom]

Originally Posted by number572

YES, I also say go cold turkey. Its so nice not to see it + if it is there in the room, or limited watching is allowed, it kind of dilutes the joy of going NO TV, as it may feel more like a discipline than a freedom. Out of sight, out of mind. We still watch a few documentaries/concerts/instructional vids/important news/etc, but we watch online & haven't had a tv/cable connected for years & love it.

Life is so short - is what brought us to the idea at first. IMExperience, there are way deeper/more fun memories to make and things to experience than sitting & watching someone else's "movie".


huh, i'm forward slash queen today

So true. I was thinking the other day "how has TV improved the quality of my life?" I couldn't think of an answer.

[zinemama]

You're welcome!

I also wanted to say that my 5yo loved (and still loves now that he's almost 7) listening to books on tape from the library while doing his Legos. You might try that. It could take a bit of time for him to switch from getting his kicks visually to audibly but he will.

As for treats, in our (tv-free) house we have movie night Sunday after showers. I think it really helps that it's at a certain time. That way the boundaries are established. You could certainly set up something like that. I don't think you should reserve TV as a treat, though. That makes it random (and something that can be pleaded and whined for) rather than something that's established and non-negotiable.

[pixiekisses]

I also say go cold turkey, and remove the TV. We haven't had a TV ever (as adults), and we love it. We watch movies ocationally or play Wii, but our kids aren't really interested in TV/movies/playing much. We go months without in the summer. They rarely ask, and it's so nice to always say yes when they ask because it's so rare.
Movie night with the whole family is lovely sometimes, but not too often, that would take some of the awesomeness away I think.
The kids absolutely learns to entertain themselves, and being bored never killed anyone, did it? They will play.

Anyway, long ramble, but go cold turkey and discover a great new world without it. It's really lovely.

[Therese's Mommy]

My kids were watching too much tv last winter. Their behavior was really bad because of it. One night while they slept dh got rid of the tv (put it in storage), he then rearranged the room so it wasn't like there was this huge hole where the tv was. When they came down in the morning they asked about it for about half of the day and then that was it they didn't mention it again. It might take your kids a little longer to detox since it sounds like they watch everyday (mine weren't watching that much), but having the thing out of sight and it's place filled with something else will really help.

[Cherry Alive]

I know this doesn't solve the problem of entertaining the LOs, but it's a nice substitute for cable: Netflix.

It's $15 a month, you get two DVDs, and free streaming video. If you have a Roku box ($99), you can do the streaming video onto the television. We LOVE it. No commercials, and we have control over what we (and DD) gets to watch (lots of educational and PBS-type of shows).

[dentmom]

Thanks so much for all the great ideas! When DH comes home, we will discuss and figure out the best plan of action!

[MommyKelly]

We went cold turkey and I have never been happier! And we had a TV in the FR and ALL the bedrooms. They are all gone The kids do stuff now, crafts, toys, build forts, all kids of stuff!

We do watch a family video on the laptop friday nights .But that is it.

We will never go back

[Girlprof]

Another vote for cold turkey, asap. We are TV free. We do have videos maybe 2x/month or so for our DS age 6. And netflix for the big people, of course. It really helps to get the TV out of view. I can not imagine now how anyone has time for TV.

[MommaCrystal]

We just did this! I've always done my best to limit TV though I've been better at it at some times then others. We tried a few different things, like I let them watch a bunch on Saturday mornings over breakfast. I tried 1 show a day. Stuff like that.

But with each of these my 4 year old would beg ALL day EVERY day to watch and melt down when it went off.

So my DH and I decided... ENOUGH! We just stopped it. We chose a week when we knew we'd busy and out quite a bit. When the question came up we did redirect them for a few days. "Mommy can I watch juts one show please?" My response... "let's go play UNO or something like that. Between being out a lot and that tactic of suggesting something else it took a week to break the habit. In the three weeks since he's asked for a show ONE time!

The tantrums have stopped. The crazy behavior has stopped. They are both excellent at finding things to do on their own now. The house is SO much more peaceful!

We have started family movie night. One or two times a week we watch a netflix or something like that. THAT is fun and everyone is really getting into that.

Life really is easier now WITHOUT the darn TV!

[lyterae]

My daughter is/was a tv addict as well. We went cold turkey two weeks ago when she was whining and crying all evening about watching a show. We decided enough was enough and removed the tv from the main living area. We still have a tv in our bedroom, but B no longer watches tv on a daily basis. It also seems to have made the times we do have a movie night more enjoyable for her.

[Llyra]

If you do go cold turkey, be prepared to tough out the inevitable whining and fussing and tantrums that will come with it. They may hang on you and the nanny a lot and insist they're dying of boredom. They're not. They'll be fine. If you're consistent about your expectations, and clear that you expect them to figure out how to play on their own or with each other, they'll work it out, and they'll learn all sorts of lessons about ingenuity and creativity and self-direction and how to draw on their own resources, in the process.

Good luck!

FWIW, once you go through with it, it is possible to introduce TV on a limited basis. We've recently reintroduced a small amount of TV. My kids get a ticket on Sunday afternoons, that they can either use right away or save for later in the week. Of course, at the start they mostly used it right away, but they have figured out that I'm perfectly serious when I say that's all they get. The ticket is worth one video or one show on TV. I don't bicker about the length of the show or video.

Mine are 5, 2, and 2, BTW.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by Llyra

FWIW, once you go through with it, it is possible to introduce TV on a limited basis. We've recently reintroduced a small amount of TV. My kids get a ticket on Sunday afternoons, that they can either use right away or save for later in the week. Of course, at the start they mostly used it right away, but they have figured out that I'm perfectly serious when I say that's all they get. The ticket is worth one video or one show on TV. I don't bicker about the length of the show or video.

I found it easier to just go completely cold turkey. It really cut down the whining because there was going to be *no* TV independently of what happened, so there was no reason to ask. When people just try to cut back, it seems to be a constant battle because the child often doesn't understand why it's okay at time A but not at time B so they focus so much effort on trying to make it be a time A, kwim?

After going completely screen free for a few weeks, we started doing Family Movie Night. Each Saturday we would watch a movie together as a family.

Now, my kids are a bit older (8&10) and we don't do it quite the same anymore. For one, they often choose to play video games/use the computer instead of watch the TV. And we defiantely allow more screen time now than when they were younger. But it worked for us pretty well.

[darcytrue]

We have cable t.v. in our home and we homeschool. I'm not afraid to place limits no my children and want t.v. in my home so I refuse to get rid of it just to keep my kids from watching it. They can be taught to limit themselves.

My children had limits placed on the t.v. watching beginning when they were very little. For this reason they have never wanted to watch t.v. in excess. In fact, it's never on during the day and at night we watch maybe 1-2 hours of t.v., no prime time in our house either. Then on weekends we are usually too busy for t.v. but watch movies sometimes and then the usual 1-2 hours at night on weekends. I believe that placing limits on t.v. is healthier than just taking it away. Your children will grow up and eventually their friends and other relatives will let them watch t.v. in their homes. I figure if they have limits placed from an early age at least they won't seem weird to other people when they go crazy once being placed in front of a t.v. at some point in their lives.

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by Llyra

FWIW, once you go through with it, it is possible to introduce TV on a limited basis. We've recently reintroduced a small amount of TV. My kids get a ticket on Sunday afternoons, that they can either use right away or save for later in the week. Of course, at the start they mostly used it right away, but they have figured out that I'm perfectly serious when I say that's all they get. The ticket is worth one video or one show on TV. I don't bicker about the length of the show or video.

.

That is a fantastic idea! I may have to implement this in our house..

FWIW - After the first week I don't hear about the tv anymore, it's WONDERFUL.

[dentmom]

Having a hard time today. I let her watch Sesame Street and Word World but told her no Dora since the cable was "broken." She's sick so I don't think cold turkey is gonna work right now. I think when DS comes home from school it will actually be easier cuz they can't wait to build their pillow fort today and that can keep them busy. plus, we have some Christmas crafts we can do tonight. I'm taking very small steps....

[broodymama]

We went cold turkey a few months ago, DH just unplugged the cable from the back of the TV. The first day or so was tough, then everything just smoothed out. The kids played more and I was a lot more efficient too. If they weren't watching TV in the mornings, then I didn't sit on my butt on the couch with my laptop.

Then we all got the flu. DS got it first so he was the first to recover, we plugged the cable back in to help keep him entertained so he wouldn't be bugging his (still very sick) 3 year old sister to play. We never unplugged it again, and now things are worse than they were before. I'm going to talk to DH about it again tonight, things were smoother when it was unplugged and I need (for all of our sanity!) to get back to that.