I agree with everyone else here and do have a couple of things to add: I actually think the risks of PPD are greater
after a cesarean than a vaginal birth. Then on top of that, somewhere down the line you may well feel robbed of the birth experience...believe me, I know!
Additionally - and I don't know (from looking quickly through the answers) if this has been mentioned, but I'd be extremely careful about any surgery right now in which the recovery period involves popping pills. You're on antidepressants right now already (and I am glad you do also have a chance to talk about it: I found my psychologist back in 2007 extremely
helpful in terms of talking therapy) and after a cesarean, you'll also be put on ibuprofen and probably a narcotic.
I was on Percocet and that stuff makes you hiiiiiigh. Takes the edge off everything: even grief. It is tempting to take it simply to get a rush. I did, once, when I was beside myself with sadness on Halloween night of 2008 - and I didn't have PPD - I was simply grieving everything: the loss of my daughter, the loss of the birthing experience.
So I'd be very worried about the narcotic side of things as well. Those things are powerful, as I'm sure you know.
You know also, and this is coming from me: I had depression terribly badly all the way up to the age of twenty - I was suicidal much of the time (luckily not for a long time now! I am going to be 28 next year, so it'll have been 8 years of non-depression) and I understand the crushing feelings.
I also know though, that sometimes, our minds get caught in a cycle of sadness, from one day to the next, a cycle of "what if" and prediction about bad things happening and allowing that cycle of thought to continue to exacerbate does more harm than good. The thoughts go 'round and 'round, making you feel worse and worse. I noticed this happening with me when I first was struggling back out of depression - I was just fantastic at making myself feel absolutely god-awful. So my first point of call was to - whenever one of these "what if's" or ghastly thoughts hit me -immediately say to myself "STOP!" and absolutely make
myself think of something completely different. Taking the dog for a walk, making brownies, thinking of a story - anything else.
With time, that got easier and easier to do and now I think positively much more than negatively about 98% of the time. I guess it just kinda retrained my mind over time. It's weird at first but it helps. Try it
Anyhow mama, you and me: we're both going through odd births then - for me, this will be a VBAC after losing my daughter suddenly the first time; for you, this might be the only birth WITHOUT PPD! So, let's stick together and see what good things can happen
*HUGE hugs* XxxX