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call me crazy... or maybe just sleep deprived... - Page 2

post #21 of 23
If I recall correctly, ppd is at least as likely if not more so with a c-section. I know in any case I had it after my first baby who was a section. If you have a difficult recovery, it could make things much worse.

The other ladies had lots of good ideas, I'll be thinking about you and sending good vibes.
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJay View Post
I agree with everyone else here and do have a couple of things to add: I actually think the risks of PPD are greater after a cesarean than a vaginal birth. Then on top of that, somewhere down the line you may well feel robbed of the birth experience...believe me, I know!

Additionally - and I don't know (from looking quickly through the answers) if this has been mentioned, but I'd be extremely careful about any surgery right now in which the recovery period involves popping pills. You're on antidepressants right now already (and I am glad you do also have a chance to talk about it: I found my psychologist back in 2007 extremely helpful in terms of talking therapy) and after a cesarean, you'll also be put on ibuprofen and probably a narcotic.

I was on Percocet and that stuff makes you hiiiiiigh. Takes the edge off everything: even grief. It is tempting to take it simply to get a rush. I did, once, when I was beside myself with sadness on Halloween night of 2008 - and I didn't have PPD - I was simply grieving everything: the loss of my daughter, the loss of the birthing experience.

So I'd be very worried about the narcotic side of things as well. Those things are powerful, as I'm sure you know.

You know also, and this is coming from me: I had depression terribly badly all the way up to the age of twenty - I was suicidal much of the time (luckily not for a long time now! I am going to be 28 next year, so it'll have been 8 years of non-depression) and I understand the crushing feelings.

I also know though, that sometimes, our minds get caught in a cycle of sadness, from one day to the next, a cycle of "what if" and prediction about bad things happening and allowing that cycle of thought to continue to exacerbate does more harm than good. The thoughts go 'round and 'round, making you feel worse and worse. I noticed this happening with me when I first was struggling back out of depression - I was just fantastic at making myself feel absolutely god-awful. So my first point of call was to - whenever one of these "what if's" or ghastly thoughts hit me -immediately say to myself "STOP!" and absolutely make myself think of something completely different. Taking the dog for a walk, making brownies, thinking of a story - anything else.

With time, that got easier and easier to do and now I think positively much more than negatively about 98% of the time. I guess it just kinda retrained my mind over time. It's weird at first but it helps. Try it

Anyhow mama, you and me: we're both going through odd births then - for me, this will be a VBAC after losing my daughter suddenly the first time; for you, this might be the only birth WITHOUT PPD! So, let's stick together and see what good things can happen

*HUGE hugs* XxxX
this is GREAT advice. This might be the one that saves you. I had moderate to severe PPD with #1. #2 saved me. She brought joy and love and life back to me. She made me want more and more children. You never know....
post #23 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mymary View Post
this is GREAT advice. This might be the one that saves you. I had moderate to severe PPD with #1. #2 saved me. She brought joy and love and life back to me. She made me want more and more children. You never know....
My midwife and I talked about that, too... the thing is that I'm not having active thoughts that go on and on... It's weird, it's almost like I'm not even conscious about what I'm worried about. I think it's because of the lack of sleep - you know how your mind just kind of partially shuts of if you're sleep deprived... But as I talked with my dh about what I "might" be worried about, it came down to the same thing over and over - I'm afraid of being alone through my labor, like I was with my second. I'm afraid of being in great pain, with having no one to coach or reassure me or even tell me that I'm almost there... or reminding me to breathe, or whatever... I did have my dh with me and the midwives were on their way... but labor wasn't gonna wait till they showed up or till dh was done setting up the pool! And in the meantime, I really was in pain and clueless whether it was going to keep on going and going like that or what!!!

So, the C-section and all that... it's about wanting control. I want to birth on my own terms - and it's ironic because most women who say that say it after a traumatic hospital birth with every intervention under the sun! And I'm saying that about an unintentional unattended birth where no one was hurt, no trauma occurred... well, except perhaps what looks like emotional trauma to me...

But, I'm done fantasizing about c-sections, seriously.

Though, I am choose to go to the hospital... that way, even if the midwives don't make it, someone else will be there, and my dh won't be busy with anything but me... or at least, that's the hope.
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