I don't like the term "brat"

[yasinsmama]

And I dilike it even more when parents call their own kids brats.

[mama2toomany]

I am right there with you. Its the same as calling names. I women a couple months ago called my child a brat at Target, a complete stranger. I shot her daggers and said "no shes a little girl, thank you very much". I was ticked

[HappilyEvrAfter]

High 5!! I'm with ya.

I don't understand why people call their own children names either.

I was standing outside with another mother (along with her two boys and mine) when she proceeded to tell me that her two boys were liars and brats.
I just looked at her stunned. I don't tell other people what to do with or how to talk to their children so I just didn't say anything.

Never. I would never say that about my kid...ESPCIALLY to his face. Yes, children go through the lying phase and "bratty" phase, but what does name calling teach them?
Nothing. Label the action, not the child. Then teach them how to avoid/abolish/manage the behavior.

My heart hurts for children who are called negative names.

[pammysue]

I went on another parenting board once for about 5 minutes. I left with an upset stomach as Moms were constantly (almost every post) calling their infants brats.

[Cascadian]

Heck, I've seen it used on here as well. Klassi.

[Ruthla]

I guess it depends on context. I've heard the phrase "Army Brats" or "Navy Brats" (or whatever branch of the military) referring to children with parents in the military, and even adults have used it to describe themselves (still being an "army brat" even when they're grown up, since they grew up as a military family and moved around a lot.)

In any other context, without the military qualifier, it's almost always negative.

I can understand venting online about kids who are too young to read, as an alternative to losing your temper AT the kids. Sometimes using 'not nice words' makes the venting more effective. But if you're saying the words out loud, in front of the kids, then it's just wrong. It's one thing to post about the bratty thing your (pre-reading) kid did, and another thing to actually call your child a brat when the child can hear you. It's even a problem to type it up where your child might read it.

[GoBecGo]

We use "brat" very affectionately with DD, i.e. "come here my lovely brat" as i chase and tickle her. Context is everything.

[kcstar]

The ONLY way I use the term is in reference to children whose parents are/were in the military... like me.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

That word makes me cringe like no other.

[_betsy_]

I know it's occurred to me when DD1 is having a meltdown or whatever. But I'd never say it and certainly not call her that to someone else.

I dislike the Bratz dolls in part because of their name. Without ever even seeing one, when they first came out I told my niece I'd never buy her one. The name alone was bad news to me. Let's not *encourage* bratty behavior, you know?

I think in a military context it's short hand for "Born, Raised And Trapped" (ie, parent/s in the military)

[lilmom]

Ick! It makes me cringe to hear people say that about their children! Actually, I lost a friend over this issue..our DS's are the same age..and she called her DS "brat" and "monster baby" all the time because he would cry. When he was a newborn!! it hurt me so much to hear it that I had to stop being around her. I gently tried to say something, but she said it was just the truth! : ( Breaks my heart.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

We use "brat" very affectionately with DD, i.e. "come here my lovely brat" as i chase and tickle her. Context is everything.

Yes, but I'd say upwards of 95% of this word's usage is not affectionate, or even neutral. It's negative, as in, "Ugh, what a brat." I don't like it either. My neighbor calls her kids brats to me right in front of them and it almost makes me want to cry looking at their little dejected faces.

[Straggletag]

Oh, I loathe the word, and I don't say it, but I must have mother's tourettes because I THINK it fairly often. Everyday with a 3yo is breaking my heart. She just gets bigger and bigger, and she acts in ways that drive me batty. I thought we were so lucky when she was two. I guess this is payback of some sort.

[GoBecGo]

Originally Posted by limabean

Yes, but I'd say upwards of 95% of this word's usage is not affectionate, or even neutral. It's negative, as in, "Ugh, what a brat." I don't like it either. My neighbor calls her kids brats to me right in front of them and it almost makes me want to cry looking at their little dejected faces.

Yes, but surely then it is the useage which is horrible, rather than the word? In general i cannot stand it when people speak tersely, threateningly, aggressively, dismissively or mockingly to or of children. It is beyond cruel when they are too young to be able to defend themselves, it utterly disempowers and is definitely abusive to me. However WHAT they say is irrelevant. I have heard a father say "come here my darling" with a tone so dripping with menace that it made me feel sick.

[Chryseis]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

Yes, but surely then it is the useage which is horrible, rather than the word? In general i cannot stand it when people speak tersely, threateningly, aggressively, dismissively or mockingly to or of children. It is beyond cruel when they are too young to be able to defend themselves, it utterly disempowers and is definitely abusive to me. However WHAT they say is irrelevant. I have heard a father say "come here my darling" with a tone so dripping with menace that it made me feel sick.

There's definitely something to be said for tone. I was in the mall one day and heard two women referring to their children as "monkeys." I've heard countless people refer to their children as monkeys (or other animals) before, and have even done so myself. However, I've only ever heard it used very affectionately, or with other terms of endearment. The way these two women were saying it made it sound like a dirty, ugly word. They were so hostile and angry about it. I seriously couldn't hear the word for the next couple of months without thinking of those two women.

Brat can be the same way. Personally I don't like the word, it's kind of a short, ugly sounding word and it does carry pretty strong connotations. However, I can completely see someone being able to say it affectionately and jokingly. It's all about tone.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

Yes, but surely then it is the useage which is horrible, rather than the word? In general i cannot stand it when people speak tersely, threateningly, aggressively, dismissively or mockingly to or of children. It is beyond cruel when they are too young to be able to defend themselves, it utterly disempowers and is definitely abusive to me. However WHAT they say is irrelevant. I have heard a father say "come here my darling" with a tone so dripping with menace that it made me feel sick.

Yes, obviously. I thought it was clear that the OP's post was more a vent about people calling their children names in a mean-spirited way.

[yasinsmama]

Originally Posted by limabean

Yes, obviously. I thought it was clear that the OP's post was more a vent about people calling their children names in a mean-spirited way.

Yes. I probably should have been more clear about that.

[GoBecGo]

HA, i'm an aspie, i miss a LOT. Sorry. It's my literal mind...

It's awful when people use verbal bullying. It's every bit as bad as physical force/violence because the child has NO chance of retaliation or defence, and it cuts so deep. I know for me that i was never spanked as a kid, but there were certainly times when the way i was spoken to bothered me for months, and even years in some instances.

[BedHead]

I actually saw a vehicle a few days ago with one of those signs, like 'Baby on Board', except it said 'Brats on Board' instead. I had to exclaim to hubby that even if I did think my kids were brats I certainly wouldn't put up a sign proclaiming it to the world, especially where they would see it multiple times a day!!

[aprons_and_acorns]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

That word makes me cringe like no other.

I know! Here in Wisconsin, brat = bratwurst (sausage) and when I first moved here from another state, imagine my surprise when the local child care center had a big sign up front that said "Brat Fry Tonight." It took me a minute to figure out that it was a fundraiser dinner, a cook-out of bratwurst and hotdogs a stuff. yikes, did I ever do a double take.