Need advice - coat on floor with a stomp and a flourish

[Ellien C]

What would you do in this circumstance? My child is 6 years old. 4/7 days a week her coat is on the floor in front of the front door because I haven't picked it up or reminded her to hang it up.

Today we come inside and she throws her coat on the floor. I say to her Please hang up your coat - quite nicely in fact. She looks at me stamps her foot, says no and throws her coat on the floor.

So what would you do now?

I looked at the coat and said "That's it. I guess you don't need this." She then grabbed the coat out of my hands, threw it on a chair and flounced off. I proceeded to take the coat and hide put it away in a place she can't get to. This child has a second fake fur coat that she wears on Sundays and a down vest that will keep her plenty warm.

Some time later (within half an hour) she goes back for the coat and notices it's missing. Now she is screaming and crying at me and demanding her coat back. I'm not escalating the situation but I am telling her that it was disrespectful and if she can't respect me and her things and our house than she doesn't need them. I attempt to go about my business but she is physically in my way, jumping on my lap, grabbing my hands and getting in my way. I try to explain that when she can act respectfully she can get the coat back. This escalates things. She demands it immediately.

I'm totally out of ideas here. This is not a unique kind of occurrence in our house.

[Katie T]

Does she get a snack when she gets home? Id remind her once to please pick up her coat if she didnt then no snack, play, tv whatever till its done. Also if she continued to talk back I do a time out tell her y she was in time out & have her say sorry. gl

[hummingmom]

Your title made me smile, as we have an almost 6 year old "stomper and flourisher" around here, too.

We've had a lot of success with the Nurtured Heart Approach. It's meant that we have to put a great deal of care into all of our interactions with our child -- but it's turned out to be much easier than when we were taking the good behavior more or less for granted, and putting all our energy into trying (and failing) to deal effectively with each misbehavior as it occurred.

ETA: The author's new book is called "All Children Flourishing" -- not to be confused with the other kind of flourishing, which we can do without, thank you very much.

[oceanbaby]

I'd probably have done something along the same lines.