Terrible Twos advice

[Eherrera329]

My DD is two and a half and LOVES movies. I limit her to one movie or show a day but when it's over she throws a fit if I don't let her watch it again. I try to distract her with something else, and it works for the meantime but then a couple hours later she asks to watch the movie or show again. If I tell her no she starts whining and won't stop. I think the big problem is because she goes to her Nana's about three to two times a week. Her Nana spoils her because she can't really spoil my DS yet because he is only one month. When they go to stores she ALWAYS buys her a present. Which makes it extremely hard on us because when we go to stores she throws a fit when we don't buy her a present [and we never do] At her Nana's house my mother lets her watch as many movies as she wants. I've told her that I only want her to watch ONE movie a day but she doesn't listen. When I am there with her she won't let her watch movies but I am almost positive as soon as I leave she lets her watch movies. I know she does things behind my back like that because my daughter is mildly lactose intolerant and she is only allowed to eat a SMALL amount of cheese a day. My mother knows this but still feeds her huge amounts of cheese because my daughter asks for it. My DD tells me that Nana fed her cheese when she gets home.

Also everyday my DD asks for her Nana. If you tell her "not today Isabel' She either whines and or throws a fit. This is multiple times a day. I'm at my wits end with the "can we go to Nana's?" question because I know that a fit will follow. I know she only wants to go to her Nana's because her Nana lets her do whatever she wants.

How do I get her to stop asking for these things all day long? Or at least how do I prevent a tantrum. HELP ME PLEASE.

[_betsy_]

I wouldn't leave my child with someone who goes against my expressed wishes like that. Grandma or no. If she's being relied upon for childcare, she has to switch out of the "Grandma gets to spoil her grandkids" mode. If she can't, I'd find other childcare arrangements.

Especially with something like the food issues. She's KNOWINGLY giving your child something that causes her bodily harm. Not acceptable to me.

2 year olds whine. I've found it was helpful to change my attitude and my expectations - to remember that while she seems like such a big kid, she's really just a baby.

With the TV/movies thing, I'd go cold turkey and not watch anything for a week or so. Find other ways to fill your days. Get her out of the house more with more physical activity, or bring her into the kitchen to help you bake or cook dinner or whatever.

Asking to see Nana everyday - how about making a game of it - like a matching game of printed out photos of family members. Or call Nana (even pretend calls can be fun at 2). Or frame a photo of Nana and put it in your daughter's room and tell her she can go look at Nana's picture and "talk" to Nana as much as she wants.

[Eherrera329]

Yeah i was definitely thinking about cutting out movies and shows for a week and see if that made the situation better. Usually when she ask for her Nana I let her call her and she'll talk to her and then when she hangs up the phone she gets upset because she wants to go see her Nana. I think I'll just have to grit my teeth and get over the whining over nana. Because like you said she's still just a baby.

[Tjej]

When I have gotten that type of behavior about TV, it has gotten better by a couple of things: less TV. Always just one show. Drawing attention to the idea that TV is making DC upset, and that I don't want my child to be upset by TV so we will not watch it. Like I say "it seems that TV is making you very sad and upset, and I don't like that. We will watch less TV since it makes you feel this way." And the next time we DO go to watch TV I talk about how I don't want it to make her sad or upset, and ask her if she thinks she can watch it without getting upset. It seems to make a difference. Also, warning a couple of minutes before it is over that this is the end of the show and it will be turned off. Oh, and another thing that helps - having the child hit the power OFF button. I know I feel better when I turn off the TV for myself as opposed to my DH doing it without my input, and it seems to work with the kids too.

Tjej

[demottm]

I am the momma-bad-guy too. I don't have much input, but I feel your pain. My DS basically gets whatever he wants with everyone but me. This is because they only have him for short times, and they want to do fun stuff. When he is with my DH it is chocolate milk and cartoon network until pass out. It makes me mad...I want to do that too! But I know that it is not good for him and I make the choice to offer healthy food and engaging activities. But it wears on me, and I get jealous. But we are Mom. It makes me feel better knowing that even though my son is throwing a fit because he wants chocolate milk and cartoon network, he is learning that disappointment is part of life, or some other valuable lesson that he can process because without the idiot box flashing he can actually think. I say let Grandma have her fun.