Another Santa post...

[ihugtrees]

I didnt want to put it in the subject line in case kiddos were standing over shoulders.

I'm having a really hard time thinking about lying to my children about Santa (DD is only 6 months but it'll come up one day.) However, people I know who were told at a young age that there was no Santa, seem to be the same people who are not very excited about Christmas. I feel that maybe the magic of Santa is what makes Christmas so fun, and even when you grow up, you remember that magic...

So, if you grew up knowing there wasn't a Santa, or figured it out a young age (ie, before 5), do you still love Christmas? Is there still that 'magic in the air' feeling at this time of year for you?

[JamieCatheryn]

I don't remember believing in Santa, I do remember finding all the from Santa presents hidden away one December and just knowing this was evidence my mom did the Santa presents. Christmas has always been special for me, we got to decorate and give gifts and get new stuff, sing special songs, cook and eat and be together, the dark and early nighttime was lit up with Christmas lights. And all this before I even became a Christian and started celebrating Christmas because of Jesus. Now it's even better because I'm celebrating something spiritual too.

[tjlucca]

I was brought up believing in Santa. I asked my mom at some point and could tell she was lying when she answered. What I remember of the whole thing was that under certain circumstances, my parents would lie to me.

We don't do Santa with DD, but we do have lots of fun. We draw names to do stocking stuffers, kind of a family "secret santa" we have a good time with it. And I don't feel at all deceptive about the time we share.

[jewelsJZ]

My parents never did the Santa thing with us, in fact they told us there was no such thing. This is not as depressing as it sounds. I promise. It was more like we were in on a special secret. They were both raised in very religious homes where the focus was on the reason for the season, and not Santa. Then, ironically, my dad had a side job when I was about age 3 or 4, as a department store Santa. So the jig was up.
To this day, I love Christmas. The day after Thanksgiving, I start listening to Christmas music, we get our tree and spend the rest of the weekend decorating, I take my kids to every special holiday show/event/etc. that I can afford, I bake dozens of cookies and other holiday goodies, we host both sides of the family for Christmas dinner and I love planning and preparing the meal. We adopt a family in need every year so there is a focus on doing for others. I also love shopping and picking out gifts and then wrapping them and seeing the receiver open them.

It is truly a magical time for me because I love all the traditions and I love being with my family and friends.

We started the Santa thing with the kids but I now wish we hadn't. The 5 year old has a lot of questions this year and I find myself lying a lot to explain Santa and quite honestly, it takes too much energy for me, but I feel like it's too late. He's really excited about Santa so I don't want to take that away from him. We don't do the "Santa's watching you" thing though. That creeps me out.

[Drummer's Wife]

I don't remember when I found out about santa - but I know I was over 5.

Anway, we do Santa - but I sometimes wish we didn't. It does seem like a big lie (like the tooth fairy and easter bunny). I know it's fun, but it's so out there and my kids are smart - I almost feel bad continuing

But, I do recall being super excited on Christmas Eve as a child in anticipation of Santa's visit. and of course I LOVE seeing my children's eyes light up when they see what their gifts on Christmas morning.

That all said - I think they would enjoy christmas just the same if they knew the truth - just in a different way, yk? Plenty of families don't play the santa game, and I'm guessing the children don't feel the least bit deprived. So yes, I do think there would still be a magical aspect of sorts - just not the fantasy type.

[Litcrit]

I cornered my parents when I was 4 and they had to admit there was no Santa. That was a relief, believe it or not. The only negative part was finding out parents could lie.

Christmas is still very special. It's about the birth of Jesus, the rebirth of light amid a dark season. We go to church, have lights and decorations, put gifts under the tree.

[lonegirl]

I remember when I found out for sure that Santa was my parents...it was Christmas Eve I was about 9 and my aunt was wrapping a gift for my cousin. On Christmas day she showed it to me saying "Santa gave me this". My thought was "oh? then why was Aunt Mae wrapping it?" My aunt saw my confused face and made a shhh sign. Then I got it. I wasn't hurt, I didn't feel lied to...I was now privvy to a secret that my little brother and younger cousins weren't. Years to come...I still emphasize the importance of getting to sleep early so Christmas will be here faster...and that Santa wont come unless asleep. As an older child I would tightly close my eyes and cover my head to try and get to sleep so I didn't hear my parents come in to get my stocking...I wanted the magic of my stocking appearing filled on the foot of my bed.
Christmas is and always will be special to me and my family. As is the magic of Santa Claus...
To me holding a bitter grudge because people feel betrayed by their parents is just something that they have to "get over it"

[philomom]

I had santa issues growing up. I felt lied to and tricked and never really got over it. Trust was broken. If they lied about santa, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, where babies came from... wasn't their god made up, too? I left my parent's home and their church as soon as I was legal.

My kids do slostice. A no gifts party with friends and neighbors. We love the quiet time of the year without the rush and fuss. There's plenty of awe and wonder in life and nature without pretending/lying.

[leighi123]

I dunno when I found out, pretty young I guess but it never runined it for me, even as an adult, but before ds was born, 'santa' would still bring me stuff and we still left out milk and cookies! (in a house full of adults!)

Once I figured it out my parents sorta said Santa as a person is a symbol of giving, not an actual guy at the north pole, so even not believing in the physical character, you can still believe in Santa in the sense that you believe in the spirit of giving and doing nice things for others.

Even as a little kid I made handmade gifts for the whole family, often hidden away months in advance, the best part of christmas was always seeing people open something I had made for them.

Plus the bits I remember are all the silly little things we always do, like have fondue christmas eve, and read certian stories from a certian book, and have christmas poppers. Spending time with family is what makes christmas, christmas, not elves in a workshop.

So ds will know about Santa, but I tell him Santa is a guy who likes to make children happy by sharing what he has, and so far ds is really into making his own gifts for people, he is so excited that he gets to do that!

[tanyam926]

My family did Santa as I was growing up, I remember it being magical and fun and I don't remember when I found out the truth. I have always loved Christmas.

To those of you who felt lied to and weren't able to trust your parents after finding out about Santa (and other mythical creatures) I have to wonder if that was the ONLY issue of trust btw you and your parents. I just can't imagine a healthy and loving relationship btw parents and children being permanently tainted by the Santa fantasy. Most people I know have not been traumatized by believing in childhood fantasies.

To me, it's part of being a child and as you get older you aren't able to believe in magic quite the same way.

I also believe that every parent knows their child/ren the best and is capable of making the best decision for their family.

The attitude by *some* people (I am not accusing anyone here) of "We don't do Santa bc we don't lie to our children" can get pretty annoying when it comes across as holier than thou IYKWIM. I trust that all the Santa free families are doing what they feel is best and that's cool. So am I.

[mama2toomany]

As I posted before I felt betrayed and like I had to hold a lie in for the sake of the other kids, I was 5 btw. I LOVE Christmas, I am a little traumatized by Santa though.

I talked to my teen (13) about if he felt robbed by not having santa and he replied that "I think its creepy that people believe an old fat guy could break into your house, even if he is leaving gifts". lol so who knows. Maybe when they grow up they will feel badly about it. I will have to wait and see and let them know I did what I thought was right in my heart.

I understand that most people do not see it as lying, but I am still having a very hard time with it. We have never done santa in the 13 years I have been a parent. But Now my 5 year old has decided to believe all by herself.

I took the advice of some great mamas here and plan to teach her about the spirit of St. Nick and I also plan to let St. Nick handle the stockings.

I also plan to include her in on some of the charity work I do for shelters and the homeless. Telling her about the giving spirit of Santa and Christmas.

Whatever you decide to do, remember its your choice and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I get a lot of guff about it, but its my choice.

Happy Holidays!

ETA: There were no other issues with my mom, i loved her and she was a goddess to me when I was growing up. I still felt lied to. So it wasn't some underlining abuse or trauma with my mother. But I will say I think its harmful to hold Santa above a child "be good Santa is watching" that always ticked me off.

[onemoremom]

I figured it out not quite that young, but much younger than my mother was ready for. I kind of played along for a few years, having no real reason to announce that I knew what was up


I can't say that I ever felt 'lied to' about it. I do remember it being frustrating that my mom didn't seem to understand the kind of person I was, the way I saw things, etc.... but that was due to our particular relationship and not wanting me to ever grow up (she misses the 'magic of childhood' and doesn't quite 'get it' that I was never bothered to learn these things, and prefer to be an adult, and wouldn't WANT to be 4 again...just her personality, she wanted me innocent forever), not just the Santa thing. For me, the second I knew for sure where those gifts came from, I went instantly from 'OMG Santa's coming he brings presents how exciting blah blah whatever' to sort of 'oh the grownups do it how neat, i bet that's fun, i better not say anything to my younger cousins because they might get upset, and I can't tell mom I know she'll be devastated'.


Christmas was still just as exciting after I figured it out as it ever was before. I have no issues, resentment, or negativity around the holidays, around santa, no problems. It was just as magical to be 14 and wondering what grand discount clearance sale mom found this gift at because no way could we afford full retail, as it was to truly believe santa had put that coloring book in my stocking

[gbailey]

I grew up knowing there was no Santa and Christmas happens to be my favorite holiday of the year. Unfortunately, my mother didn't tell me that telling other kids this might spoil their fantasies and I blabbed to a bunch of kids, "There ain't no such thing as Santa and I know cause my mommy told me." I wish I had been told that I didn't have to spoil other kids' fantasty.

Anyway, I still love the holiday. I didn't believe in the tooth fairy either. My mother told me she was the tooth fairy so I reminded her when I put a tooth under my pillow and patiently waited for my $2.00. LOL

Personally, something bothers me about letting my daughter sit on some strange persons lap asking for gifts when it gives her dad and I pleasure to purchase things we can afford for her.

Magic is still in the air for me at Christmas time. I love making a special dinner, the trees, the lights, watching little kids in the toy store pick out things they want and the excitement on a persons face when you see they enjoy the well thought of gift you've picked out for them.

[RoadBuddy]

I grew up believing in Santa, and still never understood this whole "magic" thing everyone else seems to get As a kid, I was waaaay too focused on the gifts. I was a materialistic kid As a teen and adult, I appreciate the giving to others aspect, as well as the family traditions and the religion. I like Christmas. I like it more now that I have a child. But magic? Never understood what this meant.

I love having a nice tree and stockings hanging up, hearing carols, going to look at all the sparkling lights, and giving to my family. Baking cookies is fun. I like getting cards and seeing what extended family and friends are up to. I enjoy the religious story and the beautiful christmas eve mass. However, none of this (with the possible spiritual exception of mass) is magical to me.

[BaMo]

Originally Posted by tanyam926

My family did Santa as I was growing up, I remember it being magical and fun and I don't remember when I found out the truth. I have always loved Christmas.

To those of you who felt lied to and weren't able to trust your parents after finding out about Santa (and other mythical creatures) I have to wonder if that was the ONLY issue of trust btw you and your parents. I just can't imagine a healthy and loving relationship btw parents and children being permanently tainted by the Santa fantasy. Most people I know have not been traumatized by believing in childhood fantasies.

To me, it's part of being a child and as you get older you aren't able to believe in magic quite the same way.

I also believe that every parent knows their child/ren the best and is capable of making the best decision for their family.

The attitude by *some* people (I am not accusing anyone here) of "We don't do Santa bc we don't lie to our children" can get pretty annoying when it comes across as holier than thou IYKWIM. I trust that all the Santa free families are doing what they feel is best and that's cool. So am I.

Totally agree. I never felt lied to. I didn't figure it out until I was 8 or 9. DS is too young to get Santa, but both DH & I are looking forward to having Santa being part (not the whole aspect of Christmas) of Christmas.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by ihugtrees

So, if you grew up knowing there wasn't a Santa, or figured it out a young age (ie, before 5), do you still love Christmas? Is there still that 'magic in the air' feeling at this time of year for you?

I never believed, and I like Christmas just fine. I've actually come to love Christmas more now that we've cut a lot of the consumerism out of it.

[Bluegoat]

I remember figuring out about Santa, but I didn't say anything to my parents because I didn't want to give up that aspect of the holiday - it was too fun.