Holy S#it Ladies....Wish Me Luck....(12/16 PICS NOW ADDED) - Page 2

[Krystal323]

Congrats! :d

[pjs]

Congrats!

[athenalove46]

CONGRATS!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!! What a wonderful birth story!

[ladyleah]

Thank you ladies-- I appreciate the feedback as well on talking about the trauma. I have been processing it with several people.

I don't regret anything, but the end was really traumatic and so scary with 2 solid hours of pushing and a team of people standing there at the end watching the whole thing (while I was on my back, which was the last place I thought I would actually birth him--- but they made me do it at the end....) in place to take the baby, or-- worse yet-- to drag me for a section at the last minute after everything.

Once he was out, everyone took off and his scores were wonderful and he was pink and perfect--- so in the moment, of course all the trauma went away. However, that night when I tried to sleep I started having serious nightmares. And of course, the nightmares got worse as time (and several days of no sleep, went on).

Today is the first day that I didn't have flashbacks when I closed my eyes to try to rest-- and I actually got about 6 hours of good sleep in the last 24 hours which was really good.

So, I am feeling hopeful- and plan to keep an "eye on myself" to watch for the trauma manifesting in other ways....I am hopeful that I am processing it now.

Baby to all-- and thank you all again so much.

I will post pics soon...

[SunShineSally]

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by ladyleah

Thank you ladies-- I appreciate the feedback as well on talking about the trauma. I have been processing it with several people.

I don't regret anything, but the end was really traumatic and so scary with 2 solid hours of pushing and a team of people standing there at the end watching the whole thing (while I was on my back, which was the last place I thought I would actually birth him--- but they made me do it at the end....) in place to take the baby, or-- worse yet-- to drag me for a section at the last minute after everything.

Once he was out, everyone took off and his scores were wonderful and he was pink and perfect--- so in the moment, of course all the trauma went away. However, that night when I tried to sleep I started having serious nightmares. And of course, the nightmares got worse as time (and several days of no sleep, went on).

Today is the first day that I didn't have flashbacks when I closed my eyes to try to rest-- and I actually got about 6 hours of good sleep in the last 24 hours which was really good.

So, I am feeling hopeful- and plan to keep an "eye on myself" to watch for the trauma manifesting in other ways....I am hopeful that I am processing it now.

Baby to all-- and thank you all again so much.

I will post pics soon...

I know exactly what you are talking about with nightmare flashbacks.I suffered symptoms like you mentioned after the birth of my first child. The birth looked "fine" to everyone else but it was traumatic at the end, with everyone staring at me on my back, then feeling abandoned and then fainting from loss of blood and getting up too quickly. This article helped me back when I was starting to process, maybe it could be of use to you. <link>

It gets better with time (little bits at a time), and good for you for being aware of your needs--don't be afraid to talk about this all you need to with people you can trust, journal about it, etc. It can take time to process and just when you think you are past, it can come back up again.

It can be very hard, esp. when as a new mom you *need* the sleep and to be able to focus on your newborn. When you feel able to get out and around, check around for a local support group for new moms, LLL or maybe a group through the hospital, to give you that "safe" and understanding place to grow into motherhood with, esp. with having the traumatic birth experience. It helped me soooo much and I know so many other moms this was a lifesaver for, as well. It makes a huge difference to be with and heard by other mothers IRL who have btdt and understand without judging.
Take care

[ladyleah]

Greenthumb- thank you so much for the article, and the support. I really appreciate it. I will keep reaching out.....as my emotions are really still raw and I am really struggling. I know that I should wait 2 weeks before calling this PPD-- so I am trying to relax. I think its more a problem for the lack of sleep.

I don't have any feelings of suicide, or harming my baby, or lack of interest in him or anything like that....

I just have feelings of being overwhelmed with doing the right thing for him, upset over dealing with bloody raw nipples (met with an LC yesterday though), feeling like crying at random intervals during the day......etc.

But, I am doing the best I can with what I have-- so that is all I can do I guess....

to all!

[Tattooed Hand]

I know what you mean about pushing. I pushed for less time, but I distinctly remember thinking that "there is no way we are having anymore kids".

But my hat is off to you, you really persevered and did it med free! You should be incredibly proud of yourself. congrats!!!

[Rose-Roget]

Congratulations - you did great!

[Cellist]

Wow, your baby is just gorgeous. Really pretty baby!! Congratulations and good work!