Please help me with my toddler

[chipper26]

My 17 month old has had major sleep issues for her entire life. I haven't slept for more than a 3 hour stretch before awakening since she was born. She's restless and cries out in her sleep, some nights it is off and on all night. I know she's teething, but would this cause such a huge disturbance?

Also she is stuffed up at night (she doesn't have a cold) and snores sometimes due to congestion. I have an appointment with an allergist in early Feb. Has anyone seen a big turn around after visiting an allergist and getting to bottom of those issues? But I just don't know how much of this can be attributed to teething or a possible allergy, or maybe even separation anxiety.

There has to come a point when I need to do something about this... I guess I'm waiting the teething to be over (it's been going on forever) and to rule out medical issues. I'm just wondering if a lot of this is just "habit" and also a need to nurse or have mommy there to get back to sleep. Did anyone gently "sleep train" their toddler? I have the NCSS, but I think I need something a little more intense. I'm even to the point where I think she going to have to cry, but just with me there in the room comforting her while she does it. I'm so tired of her waking even 2 hours and also rolling around our bed making noise all night.

Any suggestions? Should I think about night weaning her? I've thought about the Jay Gordon method. I am worried about taking away the one thing that comforts her and gets her to sleep (sometimes.) But, at the same time, the nursing could be a big reason she is waking so often. I know I need to wait until I see the allergist, but I need a plan.

If you are still with me, thanks for reading.

[Rubber Ducky]

Hi! I hope you'll be able to find out what the problem is soon. Have you ruled out sleep apnea? As for nightweaning, she is definitely not too young for it. I nightweaned my DS when he was around 11 months. There is no magical formula you can follow. NCSS and Gordon just give suggestions and from experience, it does not take a mere 10 days although every baby is different. There will be nights where it feels like 1 step forward, 2 steps back. Days where you will question yourself and whether or not this is right... especially when DD cries and it breaks your heart. Days when you might even feel guilty.

But my 2 cents worth is this: If you find yourself barely functioning during the day and starting to resent nursing, then it's time to change something. And I would say to change things before you reach breaking point and you have absolutely no energy left. I was getting sick every fortnight or so, very very cranky and just not enjoying my baby. So I nightweaned out of desperation and it was NOT easy. I had to accept that even though continuing to nurse during the night would be best for DS and that's what he would much prefer, if his mom wasn't functioning and he was the only one thriving, then it's not good for any of us. What may be best for him isn't necessarily best for my family. Hard to come to terms with that.

The good news is though that DS very quickly went from waking up every 1-2 hours to 3-4. Then it stretched to 5, then more. Now, he would usually sleep for 5 hours, and I will walk him back to sleep, then wake up 3-4 hours later for a feed. So all in all, he's going 8-9 hours without nursing. We have had 1 or 2 magical nights where he went 11 hours without waking. On the bad nights however, he would wake up and just refuse to go back to sleep for at least 2 hours. He would cry, scream, tantrum, want to play, laugh and think it's a joke etc... His routine has been messed up quite a lot since nightweaning. If a baby stays awake for 2 hours in the night, he's bound to wake up later and mess up his nap times, OR worse... not sleep at all and become chronially tired. This, I don't think was mentioned by either NCSS or Gordon and it sure took me by surprise. NCSS for example talk a lot about getting baby in a predictable routine, but I don't think that's a realistic expectation during weaning.

Another silly thing I did was not give DS any water. It never occurred to me that he could be thirsty But once I did, things got better.

I hope this helps