Anyone have a good experience with a live-out nanny?

[monkeybum]

I'm at my wits end trying to make this full time working with two kids thing manageable, especially now that they are entering the public school years, (like seriously, who works from 9-3 ??) and what the HECK do I do with them all summer?

I'm considering a live out nanny and wondered if anyone had any good experiences to share? I'm very leary as we had a live-in nanny for the first 6 months after I was back to work with my 2nd DS, but it was horrible-horrible - as in she was lying to us, not feeding them, totally neglecting them, my youngest (then 12-14 months old) stopped growing and talking, his height and weight dropped right off the charts, my older son left the house (at age 4) and was wandering the street and she didn't even know it...it was just all around horrible. So I'm jaded and terrified of putting my familly through that again (you can read my old posts on that here).

But, if I can find a GOOD nanny, I think it could be the best solution. I have to somehow get my older son to public school for 9:15 while trying to get to work by 8:30 (if you are thinking that math doesn't work you are right!). It looks very doubtful that we will get him in to the before school on site at the school, and I've posted looking for a local mom willing to do before school care and take him to school with no responses. We live in a very wealthy neighbourhood with lots of "hoity-toity" rich stay at home mom's, so I'm sure they don't need the cash...(and I totally don't fit in here, but that's another post...).

The only other option I see is one of the local daycares that will take him to school, but some of them are down right scary, and with the only seemingly viable option, he'd be on the bus for over an hour before he gets dropped at school, (I'd have to drop him by 8, their school bus leaves at 8 and would drop him at his school by 9:10). So I'd be paying $500 a month for him to be driven around town on a bus for an hour every morning.

So the only other solution would be a nanny, and I don't want another live-in. I am not sure I could find someone I would trust driving my kids around, but I thought if I could...it would be great that they could both be at home, she could take them to school or other programs, etc. I could just get up and go to work in the morning, and we wouldn't have the hassles of drop off. It doesn't solve my longer term needs (once my younger son is in public school full time) but that is not until 2013 so I figure I have some time to sort that out.

Any thoughts on live-out nannies? Anyone have a good experience? It's really expensive - do you think it's worth it?

[annekevdbroek]

Well, I just hired a new nanny. The first one lasted 3 months and was pretty awful (incompetent, but not mean). It took me at least a month of searching to find the new nanny. I agree it is anxiety provoking to leave someone with your children. I originally posted an ad on craigslist but found that many of the replies were from people completely unsuited to the job. I tried care.com when they had a free trial and my experience wasn't much better. I changed straegies to only looking at listings on craigslist for people who were seeking jobs. I responded to the very few promising ones, had a long email exchange, and then met in person 2x (3 hours each time, roughly) with the woman I ended up hiring. I also ran a fairly expensive background check on her. She just started Monday and so far it has been great. I wrote a very strong contract (there are good examples online) so we are both crystal clear on the expectations and terms.

Nannies are expensive in this area. However, so is daycare. It's costing a bit more, but to me the benefits outweight the financial costs. The new nanny also does things like load/unload the dishwasher, plan outings, host playdates here, help with homework (in Spanish!), lets repair people in, etc. So, there are additional advantages.

Are there any nanny agencies in your area? That might be another option (they are crazy expensive here but they pre-screen). I found of the people I interviewed there were only two who I really connected with, and only one I wanted to hire (and I did). I would also offer some benefits (like paid vacation, federal holidays) ,etc. - because if you find someone good you want to keep them happy and have them stay.

Other source would be to start asking around with neighbors and see if they know of anyone. In our neighborhood families often out-grow their need for a nanny and this can be a good way to find someone who is wonderful.

Be sure you know what you need in advance (e.g. someone with their own car who will transport the children).

[AJHCFamily]

I did exactly what you are looking for when I was a college student. I worked for an hour in the morning, took the kids to school, even went in to preschool for the first 15 minutes to interact and see the latest art projects, then off to campus I went (they let me take the family car so that I didn't have to go back to the house and switch cars). After my day of classes I waited in the carpool line picked up the kids, took them home (or playdates or extracurriculars depending on the day), fed them snack, did homework, and then dinner. Mom and Dad came home around 6 or 6:30. I loved the flexibility of the schedule and think it's perfect for a college student if you can find one.

When I was a kid my mom had this dreadful older woman do the same who was so mean and barely even looked at us. It was miserable.

Being able to come home after a long day instead of another parent's house or day care center is very calming for the kids if you can find the right caregiver. Good luck!

[outlier]

Are there any local college campuses in the area where you can post fliers? That would be a great way to find some young, responsible people who could use some cash.

I was a live-out nanny for a while in college and it worked well for everyone.

[MtBikeLover]

I am on my second nanny (first was not very good and got too stressed out with the kids) and she is fantastic!!! The kids really like her, she is so nice to them, and she takes them everywhere.

I tried care.com and craigslist and did not have very good luck. The new nanny was a recommendation from another nanny at my DD's preschool. We liked her immediately. The thing that convinced us of her was that she had been a nanny for 8 years previously for another family. And that family just raved about how gentle she was with the kids.

I love having a nanny - the convenience is wonderful. She is there in the morning to get DS on the bus, she picks up DD from preschool, takes them to activities, straightens up the house, and prepares dinner if I need her to (which is rare).