How do you handle this situation? - Page 2

[Violet2]

Well then why did FIL invite you guys????

I guess I'm of the minority camp that FIL is being rude. I doubt FIL knows enough to understand the difference between a newborn and an infant b/c most people don't. It will be interesting to see what he does when SIL's newborn is older. I would bet there will be an exception made for her again.


V

[BRmama]

Originally Posted by Violet2

Well then why did FIL invite you guys????

I guess I'm of the minority camp that FIL is being rude. I doubt FIL knows enough to understand the difference between a newborn and an infant b/c most people don't. It will be interesting to see what he does when SIL's newborn is older. I would bet there will be an exception made for her again.


V

Yeah she does get everything she wants!!! Anyway, there are other ways of approaching other than how fil has. Anyway, dh just called me and apparently wants me to go and take ds. He said his dad is okay with it as long as my son is in a good mood and doesn't throw any fits or have accidents . He's ten months! I told dh I'm just staying home.

Actually, you do apparently have family there. Your in-laws...

And there is a very huge difference between a newborn and a mobile toddler/baby. I completely understand not wanting a 10 month old who can crawl all over, and still allowing a tiny infant. Infants are a different class. "Babes in Arms" are the exception to "no children" rules.

Well yeah I do have my dh's family and they're considered family, but they'll be there. I mean my family all live in different states.
I think my definition of a toddler (which I agree should not go), is a baby past one year or close to it who's walking, potty trained, and eats by him/herself. My son just learned how to crawl. Next year if we go he'll not be attending. If I were to take him, I'd wear him the whole time.

Thank you all again

[pixiekisses]

I think baby's in arms don't count in the "no kids" rule. That's how it is here, and with everyone I know, anyway. (And a 10 mo. would be fine, if he was happy being worn all the time imo.)

[allical1284]

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

I would just stay home.

This.

We just missed out on DH's company Xmas party last weekend because there was a no kids allowed policy with no exception. DD is 7 months old and still EBF, so leaving her wasn't an option (although even if it were, she is going through some separation anxiety stuff as well, so I still wouldn't leave her) so we just didn't go; no hard feelings!

[Mal85]

DH's Christmas party is this Friday and it's no kids allowed too. If we couldn't find a sitter (she is going to stay with my ILs) I would just stay home with her too. DH would just tell people we couldn't find a sitter, and they'd totally understand. DD is 9 months and I would not want to bring her. There is drinking and it's long and boring for a baby. And it'll run into her bedtime which is just bad news, she'd be very fussy and hard to please. I don't think it would be seen as rude if I stayed home with my baby, but I would definitely feel like the odd one out if I brought her with me. That's just my two cents.

[cristeen]

I think if there are no kids allowed, then that needs to be made clear right up front. Although if it's a cocktail party type shindig, then that's generally presumed to be the case. But to wait until 5 days before the event to say that no kids are allowed is crappy. Trying to find a sitter on such short notice is difficult at best. I wouldn't be able to do it even if I were willing.

I say don't go, and when your FIL throws a fit, make it perfectly clear that if he's going to exclude some of the family, then he needs to make that clear up front and not less than a week before the event.

We have the company holiday party this Friday, and if someone told me today that my LO couldn't come, I'd be staying home. Period. FIL or no FIL. Luckily this company has a kid-friendly event planned.

[BRmama]

Thanks everyone

Quick update: So I dropped dh off (We're currently on one car) then went out to eat with my lo. We had a blast together, then towards the end I did show up to pick up dh (wearing ds) and FIL apologized. I know shocking, anyway I think he fell bad. The baby fell asleep in my sling and still is. Thanks for posting again. You mamas rock !

ETA: There is no drinking allowed in this party, but even though I enjoyed my time with my son I sure wish that there were more kid friendly events planned around here especially during the holidays.