Do you HAVE to nightwean for them to sleep better at night

[nervousmommy]

I'm not ready to nightwean...starting to think we might do CLW - but not sure. He's one and wakes often at night to nurse...takes naps on me most of the time -just easier for me-he gets better sleep. Will only nurse to sleep.

Hoping to hear that someone did the same as me and ended up having a 2 year old that slept through the night and didn't NEED to nurse to sleep...is it possible????????

[summerforever1977]

Sorry, it wasn't true for me. I definately don't think my LO was ready for night weaning at a year, maybe closer to 18 months but I was fearful of crying all night long or for long bouts if I refused to nurse at night. However, by 20 months my milk dried up (I'm pregnant) and I really wanted to end the habit of nursing for comfort at night so I refused to nurse him and he barely cried for a moment before going back to sleep. It took about a week before he stopped waking 2-3 times a night to nurse. We definately needed to night wean in order to have him sleep through the night. He still "nurses" to sleep at night, but can fall asleep on his own. I just want to allow him to nurse if he wants so if he chooses to tandem when my milk returns he won't have forgotten how to nurse.

Anyway, I guess there are some babies out there that will naturally outgrow waking at night, but I think there are probably more that will wake out of habit to nurse.

I just kinda went with what felt right and accepted our own sleep situation knowing that one day he would be a better sleeper and of course he is now. Your babe will sleep better too, whether it's sooner, later, or with or without your help; they're all so different I don't think there is any hard-fast rule.

[nervousmommy]

Thanks for replying! I guess I'm trying to get an idea of how all this is going to go. Before I had a baby I thought I would only nurse for a year - as soon as he got here - I realized I don't have any idea how long we will nurse for. I also had heels dug in about him not sleeping in bed with us ( mostly out of fear that something bad would happen to him) and he was going to sleep in the co-sleeper. After 4 nights of no sleep - because I had to have someone hold him every minute and make sure he was breathing - he came to bed with us and we all slept

I do not believe in CIO at all! So I can't figure out how he will ever not nurse to sleep - and when I say ever I mean EVER. I'm good with it now. I'm fine with him waking during the night. He woke a ton and then he had some nights of only nursing 2 times and now he's back to nursing 4-7 times a night. I actually get sleep because I just roll over - switch him to the other side and pop a boob in and we are good to go. Sometimes if I'm not exhausted I try to pat him or snuggle him back to sleep instead of going right for the boob - but mostly I insert nipple and go to sleep. I also do this when he naps, which is usually on me in the rocking chair so that he'll sleep longer.

I'm afraid that I've created this and that I've done something that will be harder down the line to stop - you may ask - why stop? Right now there is no reason - but I'm thinking we want to have another baby - won't start trying until he's almost 2 - yes I could tandem nurse I think - don't know how I feel about it - just as I'm not sure how I feel about CLW. I wish I had a better idea of a natural progression.

I don't want to upset him - he's too young now anyway - wouldn't even think of it until he's about 2 for nightweaning or weaning in general - but I also have seen 2 year old temper tantrums and battle of wills - I don't know that I will ever be ready to handle that!

So I guess...if you have read this far...what is the natural progression for children to sleep longer stretches that co-sleep, nursed on demand, and nursed to sleep without a pacifier. Is it when all their teeth come in - is it once they are walking - is it once I start saying no to nursing at night? Is there an optimal time for night weaning - how can you tell that your baby is ready? I know I'm not ready now - but how will I be able to tell when he is ready?

Hand holding.....ANYONE? Now you see why my screen name is nervousmommy

[Dingletwitz]

ah, not really a total letgo of all night nursing for dd, who (thankfully) clwed about a month ago (2.5ish)....She always nursed to sleep, but then would sleep through I think about 18 mos or so. Ironically she could stay the night at grandma's and have no problems. But when the boob was present, she wanted it--even after I was gone for a week when she was 2 and a couple months old. I, like you, slept through most of her night nursings thankfully...but my shoulder feels much better since I quit that weird positioning.

[bobandjess99]

Well...i have one yes, one no, lol.

i had started VERY gently limiting dd as we approached 2 yo...just making her wait a minute or two, as opposed to jumping every time she wanted milk, not by any means curtailing it more than 10% or so, and then one day, right at her 2nd birthday, we went to bed........and woke up..the NEXT MORNING! I was engorged, lol, but it was our first full nights sleep in 2 years. there were a few weeks of occasional nightwaking, but pretty much, it was sleep straight through the night for us after that..my boobs adjusted to not nursing at night, and we continued to nurse during the day for 6 more months.
Withe ds, I was really not wanting to nurse as much anymore, so at 18 months, i started weaning, general weaning, not specifically nightweaning....and cut the nursing about in half over the course of a couple months....and during that pocess, he started sleeping longer...which meant waking only 1-3 times per night instead of 4-6. And then he stopped nursing altogether. It was almost as if he said "well, if you aren't going to give it to me EVERY time i ask, then i don't want any at all, so THERE!" So, a couple months shy of 2, we were completely weaned, and he did wake at night for a while, and i gave him a sippy, and now he mostly doesn't wake at all, and he'll be 2 in a couple weeks.

[ssh]

My DD stopped most waking to nurse after all her teeth came in at 2.5. She'd nurse to sleep and then nurse when she woke in the morning. Sometimes she'd go back to sleep for an hour or so after nursing in the morning. By abit after turning 3 she usually slept a solid 10 or 11 hours straight. We never had any restrictions on nursing at all. She recently weaned herself a month before turning 4.

So no you don't have to nightwean them for them to sleep most of the night. I've heard of LOs that were nightweaned and still woke anyway.

[pixilixi]

Well, just to let you know how things went with us - not sure if it's what you want to hear if you might have another dc in the near future -ish! But, FWIW, ds was a pretty crappy sleeper all through until about 2 years old.

I didn't ever encourage him to do anything but nurse at night when he woke up, because he would ramp up and scream pretty quickly and i didn't want dh to wake up. But soon after he was 3, he would just snuggle into me and go back to sleep rather than bother with milkie.

He is 3 1/2 now and pretty much never nurses at night. However, he still wakes up once or twice most nights for a brief snuggle or drink of water. Maybe a few nights a week he sleeps all the way through.

He still nurses to sleep often, though mostly pulls away before he's all the way to sleep, gets comfy and drifts off. This has been happening since well before he was 3 - can't remember.

Good luck!

Oh, and just wanted to add that ds is still nursing usually 2 - 5 times a day now.

[PAgreenmama]

i had the same experience as summerforever. i wouldn't say that you HAVE to nightwean to have a better sleeper because all babies are different, but in our case i truly believe nursing was just a habit for dd.

[nervousmommy]

Originally Posted by PAgreenmama

i had the same experience as summerforever. i wouldn't say that you HAVE to nightwean to have a better sleeper because all babies are different, but in our case i truly believe nursing was just a habit for dd.

NAK

How old was DD when you nightweaned and was there a lot of crying involved? I notice you are preg again..Did your DD notice a difference in milk taste or supply?

Thanks..I enjoy reading the responses. I equate reading about how it can go to all the birth stories I read before giving birth...doesn't mean that's how MY birth will go...but it let me know how it COULD go...KWIM?

[PAgreenmama]

dd was 14 months when we nightweaned. i know she cried but i don't think she did for long because she was so tired. it was more fussing then crying and i think she only asked to nurse for 3 nights however it took a long time for her to actually sleep through the night.

we used jay gordon's method (you can google it if you haven't heard of it) and dropped the 2am feeding first. she still woke at that time for a while and fussed and cried a bit out of frustration of being awake. she only wanted to go back to sleep! the neat thing is that when she finally started to sleep through that feeding she dropped the midnight feeding on her own! that is what really makes me think that the nursing at night was a habit. it took until she was 16mo until she was sleeping through the night but only those three days to get her to stop asking to nurse in the middle of the night.

as for the pregnancy... yes she has noticed a change but not the way i expected. she had been consistently nursing only 3 times a day for a few months (first thing in the am, before her nap and before bed) when suddenly she began asking a million times a day. and it hurt! but i attributed that to the fact that she was nursing more often. 4-6 weeks after the feeding frenzy began i found out she was pregnant and thankfully a few weeks later she went back to the 3x/day. now she is slowing down and a few weeks ago there was a day that she refused to nurse at all! i'm sad about it because i would like to nurse her until 2years but with two babies on the way, it's probably best if she does wean on her own now. i'm leaving that up to her though.

i think clw weaning is great but it's not for us. i love nursing her but at 14mo i was ready to start setting a few limits and start trying to distract her if i felt she was just wanting to nurse because she was bored. you have to do what you feel you and dc are ready for but if you do want to try nightweaning, i definitely recomment jay gordon's plan!