Not sure what to do. Pacifier? What kind?

[MerelyGod]

This is my third baby. I've never used a pacifier before. She is two months old and exclusively breastfed, as were my first two.

DD1 goes to a charter school and DD2 is in preschool two days a week. I do a lot of driving. Mostly DD3 is fine, but sometimes when we first get into the car she cries. Even when I know she is well fed and changed. She is often tired. She will suck on my finger and usually fall asleep. The problem is, I don't feel like this is the best way to drive, but I'm finding that more and more often she wants to suck on my finger in the car.

I am also noticing that she does this at home now. She will cry sometimes, her diaper is fine, she doesn't seem gassy and she will repeatedly refuse both breasts. Sometimes she tries to suck on her fists, but she can't quite get them consistently yet. She will take my finger at these times too, it usually calms her down and she will fall asleep. I try everything else first, and she is really not a fussy baby. I think she just wants something to suck on, but doesn't want the milk?

I don't know. I don't really like the idea of giving her a pacifier, but I can't always offer my finger (especially while driving), even while holding her she wants to be sitting up and it's kind of awkward and uncomfortable. Should I just wait and hope she'll use her hands once she gets better control of them? I'm not wanting to quiet her, I just want her to be comfortable and happy. She's generally a calm baby and rarely cries, but often when she does (unless it's something specific), that's the only thing that will calm her.

I'm not even sure if she would take a pacifier if one was offered. I know a lot of babies won't. Is there one in particular that is better for breastfed babies? Any suggestions other than giving her a pacifier?

[sewaneecook]

The reasons you are giving sum up my situation with DS2 and why I finally gave him a pacifier. It was either a paci or drive unsafely and sometimes he would cry until falling asleep (he is rarely willing to nurse to sleep). We use the Nuk brand. I hate having to keep up with it, but it keeps DS more content.

FWIW, I don't think the paci is awful, just the abuse of one is. Sitting the baby down in a neglect-o-matic with a paci when he really needs mommy is one thing. However, holding the baby in mommy's or daddy's arms while sucking on it is a completely different story.

[OperaDiva]

I started using one for similar reasons, and I also use a Nuk or Playtex, those are the only kind he'll take. I have an oversupply of milk, so DS would finish eating and start a suck-cry-suck-cry routine because he wanted to suck but was full. Once I started giving him a pacifier at that time he would just fall peacefully to sleep, usually either in my arms or in a sling.

At 2 months, she isn't too old to introduce it and is old enough that she should be able to keep it in her mouth most of the time.

[Phridae]

We didnt wan't to use one either, but DS just had that intense urge to suck all the time.
We tried a variey of different kinds, but in the end he liked the Soothie ones.
Around 8.5 months he stopped taking it. I dont even know where it is anymore. I'm glad he decided he didnt need it, and I didnt have to wean him from it.

[DCMama01]

My DD started sucking her fingers for comfort to soothe herself, so I went out and bought a paci quick! I knew she wasn't hungry, because I'd often just nursed her to sleep and I always offer the boob first.

I still have a friend who sucks her thumb as she goes to sleep and/or for comfort during the day and she has a 2yo son now. Messed up her teeth.

Anyway, I also recommend the Nuk brand.

[dislocator3972]

We didn't want one either, but sometimes they're what the baby 'needs'. I would be careful which kind you use. We got a soothie (round, no 'top' or 'bottom' sides) and she liked it, and it seemed to reinforce the circular shape she needed for nursing, but I discovered later that it pushed the top of her palette a bit. Eventually I discovered that pacifier was the reason for a LOT of my nursing pain. The shape was good for part of her latch, but not our nursing. The Nuk style paci has helped her palatte and sucking and hasn't hurt her latch at all.

Turns out, pacifiers aren't as simple as they seemed (to me).

Good luck!

[texaspeach]

we used a soothie. she might not take a pacifier. some babies won't. just be prepared for that. ds did until recently (he's 3 mo) but now he refuses it.

[cristeen]

My little guy sucks on his fingers a lot. And he loves sucking on mine. But he hates the pacifier. And I'm not going to go out and buy every brand in the store just to get him to take one... I've tried 2 brands and he screams when I give them to him.

Between my breasts, my fingers and his fingers, I decided he's fine. He's almost 3 months and can consistently find his own hands now if he wants to suck on something.

[alaskaberry]

I used MAM orthopedic pacis for both my sons. They "outgrew" them around 10m.

[Lula's Mom]

We use the Nuk. And as pps have said, my other two children gave it up around 9 months or so. They stopped needing it so intensely, so I stopped looking for it and offering it, and it was really easy to be done with it. I am crossing my fingers that it will work that way with this new baby too.

[MerelyGod]

Thanks everyone! I think I will get one, and give it a try next time she is upset in the car. I'm still feeling kind of conflicted, but right now with the weather and the roads so bad, I really need to be able to focus on driving.

I am so relieved to hear that so many of you did not have problems with them. Maybe overuse contributes to that sort of thing. And actually, since I posted this, she's been getting a little better about finding her hands, so we'll see.