You don't get a medal for EC

[GoldmanBaby09]

There has been a lot of talk about EC lately and it seems like there is a sentiment out there that some of us hear about natural birth in regards to EC--you don't get a medal for doing that. And although I don't think that doing EC makes you a better parent than someone else, or that it works for everyone, I think it does warrant some recognition for wanting to at least try to be in tune with all your child's needs.

For my family, I was looking for ways to deal with the terrible diaper rash my son got from disposables and I kind of stumbled on EC while doing research. I tried it with my then 3 mo and I couldn't believe how simple and easy it worked for us. We switched to cloth as well, and my son's skin has been so much better! I also feel great knowing that EC is good for the environment--no diapers to toss or wash, and every caught pee/poop is a greener step.

So, revitalize my faith, Mamas, and tell me why you DO choose to EC.

[mamatobe08]

Great thread! I chose to do EC because I'm a stay at home mom and I have nothing else to do all day. LOL, no seriously--My son started getting VERY obvious when he was pooping. I was sick and tired of us being at the dinner table, and he'd start grunting, and we'd all sit there like "Oh he's pooping again!" Like, if you know they're pooping, why shouldn't you try to get that in the potty?! So we tried. And it worked. So we decided to go for it, since I *am* a stay at home mom and I *did* have the time. I do it because I love that I am saving money AND the earth. I do it because my son is brilliant and I can't stop thinking how amazing he is every time we have a catch.

[curiouscanadian]

While I toyed a bit with EC around 4mo, I gave it up for awhile and didn't truly start until 10mo or so, the main reason being the horribly acidic teething poo we were having to deal with at the time. Seriously, I missed DS's dirty diaper once for 10 minutes and it took 5 days to clear up the resulting rash. That = lots of nekkid time, and a revitalization of EC principles.

A few other reasons:
- the more I started thinking about it the more it seemed "wrong" to train him to go in a diaper and then seemingly arbitrarily declare one day when he got older that he needed to go in the toilet;
- a nephew who is just barely potty training at 3.5 (I do NOT want to be diapering that long) and is very clearly "diaper trained";
- DS's clear dislike of wet & dirty diapers (when I look back on things he would've been SO easy to EC when he was tiny);
- better sleep for all of us... if he potties before his nap/bedtime he sleeps longer;
- a personal aversion to dealing with non-EBF poo. If it can end up directly (or even semi-directly) in the toilet, so much the better in my book.

Now that we're doing it I'm also enjoying the communication part of ECing (we were working purely on timing until recently). It's nice for him to be able to tell me what he needs & generally results in a happier babe.

[emmaegbert]

my son very obviously hated to be in a wet or dirty diaper, so we offered him a potty, and knowing nothing about EC did a modified, late start with it (around 15 m)

So, when my baby girl was born in April, I was doing plenty of nakey time and such, grabbed a book on EC from the library and it just made so much sense. Why NOT have pees and poos go in the potty- even some of the time- rather than in a diaper I have to clean.

The GIANT reduction in poopy diapers itself is worth it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with diapers and we use plenty of diapers. I think that a lot of people (I certainly did!) incorrectly think its an all-or-nothing sort of thing. I think its gross to leave a kid in a dirty diaper (esp poo) and I always did think that. Kids playing in a poopy diaper at the playground and the parents are chatting away all nonchalant like, oh, we'd better get going soon, my LO has poop in her pants. EW! EC for us has been an extension of that-- if its convenient, and baby doesn't mind, why not prevent the problem in the first place...

[sapphire_chan]

Because it's better for the environment. I'm wasteful enough in other ways, I don't need to add any more impact on the world. Sure, the whole "water used for cotton diapers" argument is fallacious and biased, they still use more than I do. Even in the early days when I was washing every other day I used flats which can be washed in only one cycle and I usually (like 4 of 5 times) hung them to dry.

Since actually starting there have been side benefits. Like only dealing with one diaper rash in 15 months (because of an alcohol containing cheap baby wipes bought on the road) which cleared up by the next morning. Or having a few overnight trips and only using 2-3 diapers, meaning we only had to haul around 2-3 diapers.

But, y'know, we should be fair to them. Not the "you don't win a medal" UAVs, but the people who just don't get ECing. It's not what they're used to. Not what they're in the habit of.

[zoebird]

i just do it because i like to do it. it really is that simple.

when i first heard about it, i thought it was very weird and it just seemed like too much messy work. i was used to diapering (from baby sitting), and it seemed normal.

but once i really learned about it, i thought, you know, i want to try that. and i tried it and i liked it, so i continue with it.

for me, it's also about the boy's sovereignty. that is not to say that diapering is against his sovereignty (or any baby's), it's just another step, another element of that picture for me.

[GoldmanBaby09]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

But, y'know, we should be fair to them. Not the "you don't win a medal" UAVs, but the people who just don't get ECing. It's not what they're used to. Not what they're in the habit of.

And I'm definitely not trying to come down on anyone for diapering. But there did seem to be a lot of misconceptions from the people that were the most defensive about it. We are far from 100% EC--my son is always in a cloth diaper and rarely naked (and certainly not peeing and pooping all over me and our house ). But on a good day we catch more pees in the potty than the diapers and although poops have been a bit more difficult, we are starting to get those in the potty regularly, too. But I think EC can be what you want it to be and you can make it work for your family. Like Mamatobe08, I'm a SAHM with one kid. Other than the usually housework and dinner prep, my main responsibilities are nursing and toileting my son, anyway. Why not make it easier for both of us and use the potty?

I just think it is interesting how people feel about EC. So much of what gets hotly debated on the MDC is medical related--birth interventions, c-sections, circumcision, vaccinations. All those things can affect the health or safety of mother and/or baby, and there can be risks and benefits to each. But EC isn't like that. Is your child going to be hurt if you don't EC? Certainly not. Does it make you a bad parent for not doing it? No way! But since there really isn't any harm in doing it, I think it at least warrants a try. I had no expectations as to what EC was supposed to be when I started, so there was no way to "fail" or be disappointed. I just stuck my kid over the bathroom sink and he went pee! I bought him a Bjorn potty chair the next day, and the rest is history

[dogretro]

I don't need a medal. My daughter is 19 mos and I have not changed poopy diapers for 15 of those months. THAT is my medal

[norajune'smama]

i really don't mean this to be as inflammatory as it sounds, but...i do think people are sometimes defensive about things they know they could be doing differently but don't.
that said, we EC because we thought it was fascinating (but thought baby had to be nakey bum all the time) from the first we heard about it. then around 10 months, diaper changes (she was in cloth) became nightmare-ish and i thought, something has to change. thankfully, i met two EC-ing mamas soon after and the diapers came off.
she "graduated" at 23 months. pretty sweet medal if you ask me.
btw, my step-mother actually said that to me about my natural childbirth (you don't get a medal...)!

[orangefoot]

Originally Posted by pixiepunk

somewhat surprisingly, it has enhanced my childrens' relationships with each other. My older two loooove to EC the baby, and were sometimes even better at picking up her cues than i was!

I had started to CD due to the environmental benefits, and EC was a wonderful extension of that. and it has certainly been nice not to deal with poo and pee outside of a toilet once my kids were around 2 yo. - nice for me, and nice for them too.

for me there's absolutely no down-side. it has not been hard, time-consuming, or stressful. like anything worth doing, there are sometimes little bumps in the road, but you're going to have that as a parent no matter what you do, that's just life.

I've selectively quoted you there but I agree with all this.

I late ECd my 3rd child when she started taking off her CDs by herself at 15mo or so. I was urged by others to put them on backwards or start using pins instead of nippas so that she couldn't get them off. One woman I knew suggested that maybe she was trying to tell my something and that I should just run with it. We did and nappies became history.

By the time we had our 4th the idea of any kind of nappy had become very alien to us and we didn't consider doing anything other than EC.

Doing EC not only enabled her sibs to do things for her but also her dad. He had previously thought that only boobs could fix any problem but it soon became obvious that some of her signals were for wees and not hunger. This gratified him immensely and made him feel that he was doing more to care for her even from just a few weeks old.

The really odd thing about the animosity towards EC here on MDC is that in all other areas the general consensus is to consume less and when ECers do just that we are suddenly doing 'more' than we should.

The nappy thing is quite addictive to many people not only in use but also in purchase of great stashes. I couldn't afford to buy £10 nappies and was mostly looking for functionality rather than show-off-ness but I understand that parenting is a whole can of consumerist worm if you dig a little into any of us. If it isn't nappies it is organic clothing or yarns or fabrics to make things for our LOs.

When you tie that all up with NFL folks get emotional and defensive. That is just human nature and in addition everyone has their vice! Mine is very dark chocolate but for others it is designer nappies

I love a bare bum but I also smile when I see a big round cloth bottomed babe

No medal required here either: I got to see such a cool thing ever time my weeny little babe weed in a top hat potty

[InMediasRes]

Meh, to each his own applies here, I guess. And full time diapering wasn't for us!

I heard about EC when DS was 10 mo. We tried and tried and tried but it never caught on. I remember being super frustrated with the whole thing.

So when DD came around, I started as soon as I felt like I could handle it (4 weeks). PLing my toddler has been the worst chore. I am CONSTANTLY worried about if I'm pressuring too much/not enough, if he's handling the process okay, if he's EVER going to poop in the potty. I'm tired of millions of pieces of advice from strangers about how to MAKE him poop in the potty. And I HATE diapering. So, I decided to skip it all the second time around.

And there have been a lot of rewards along the way. I do continue to do it because it truly is fun and worth it for me. And if people were more accepting, I would be jumping out of my skin to tell people about it.

There are many many many things that I do that I don't get any reward for but that it's fun and helps me connect with my kids. You don't get a medal for playing with your kids, for HSing, for night time parenting, or for cooking healthy meals and sitting down together. That doesn't mean you don't do those things for your family.

[pixiepunk]

Originally Posted by orangefoot

I've selectively quoted you there but I agree with all this.

I late ECd my 3rd child when she started taking off her CDs by herself at 15mo or so. I was urged by others to put them on backwards or start using pins instead of nippas so that she couldn't get them off. One woman I knew suggested that maybe she was trying to tell my something and that I should just run with it. We did and nappies became history.

By the time we had our 4th the idea of any kind of nappy had become very alien to us and we didn't consider doing anything other than EC.

Doing EC not only enabled her sibs to do things for her but also her dad. He had previously thought that only boobs could fix any problem but it soon became obvious that some of her signals were for wees and not hunger. This gratified him immensely and made him feel that he was doing more to care for her even from just a few weeks old.

The really odd thing about the animosity towards EC here on MDC is that in all other areas the general consensus is to consume less and when ECers do just that we are suddenly doing 'more' than we should.

The nappy thing is quite addictive to many people not only in use but also in purchase of great stashes. I couldn't afford to buy £10 nappies and was mostly looking for functionality rather than show-off-ness but I understand that parenting is a whole can of consumerist worm if you dig a little into any of us. If it isn't nappies it is organic clothing or yarns or fabrics to make things for our LOs.

When you tie that all up with NFL folks get emotional and defensive. That is just human nature and in addition everyone has their vice! Mine is very dark chocolate but for others it is designer nappies

I love a bare bum but I also smile when I see a big round cloth bottomed babe

No medal required here either: I got to see such a cool thing ever time my weeny little babe weed in a top hat potty

This is sooooo true! of course i still possess magic boobs but it was liberating for all of us to realize that not *every* little fuss and squirm was a desire to nurse. my DH is the biggest EC evangelist of them all - he cracked me up one day, telling me how he was telling everyone at his very mainstream work at the time how our 3 month old uses the toilet of course they all looked at him like he had 3 heads and went about finishing their lunch.

I never understood the whole diaper addiction thing at all. it seems totally bizarre to me to spend $25 on something you intend to get regularly pee'd and poo'd on. and yes, when the mother has a vested interest in diapering because it is fun for her, it is not surprising that she'd get defensive about that.

i also think that it's really hard to have the EC/diapering discussion with people who diaper without upsetting diaperers because i for one am really disgusted by diaper-training now that i've done so much EC. it's hard to explain that revulsion without the person who diaper-trains becoming insulted, even when it's not your intention. and while that's the case with most things (explaining why you don't CIO, for example, is going to upset someone who does most likely) it seems particularly contentious among people who tend to be the ones making the 'alternative choice' instead of the one doing the mainstream one. that's my theory anyway...

[zoebird]

yeah, my family had the same reaction. no one really likes to change diapers, but pottying is a nice way to connect and know that you are able to do something for the baby.

my father never took to it and will not potty the baby at all (or change diapers), and since we exclusively BF (no pumping or bottles), he really only interacts in play.

but otherwise, everyone potties the baby and really enjoys it.

[GoldmanBaby09]

Yeah, I forgot about the Dad aspect of pottying. I was so thrilled when my DH started catching pees, too. I think it was good for him as an interaction with his son, and it was also great for me knowing that I wasn't the only one who could cue the baby--he seemed to get that the potty was for peeing regardless of who was putting him on it. No Mommy-Magic required! I also feel it is pretty impressive to say your LO has regularly gone on the potty from a super young age, even if that isn't the main reason to do it.

Pixiepunk-I don't really get the cloth as a baby fashion obsession, either. And you can keep your fancy diapers, that's fine. Just whip them off and potty baby every once in a while. It will save wear and tear on those expensive dipes by washing them less It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive, you know?

One other reason I was really fascinated with EC was the idea that it could make toilet learning with a toddler so much easier. I have four younger brothers and I remember their potty training days. Little boys seemed to pee everywhere! They have that little "hose" and it is all over the place! Anything that was going to reduce the amount of pee I was going to be dealing with in the long run seemed worth the effort now, to me. And I really didn't want to be one of those parents still buying Pull-Ups for a four year old.

[lisavark]

I absolutely love EC'ing, but I'm also obsessed with fancy diapers. I think the two interests go together very well. I was able to be obsessed with my lovely cloth diapers BECAUSE they hardly ever got pooped in. For me, cloth diapers were more of a fashion statement than something to be peed/pooped in...I looked for ones that were cute and trim! I didn't have to worry about them being absorbent or never leaking, since I was always going to change them right away anyway. But we used back-up pretty much full-time for the first year. And I never felt guilty about spending money on fancy diapers, seeing as we were saving so much by not buying disposables, and anyway I figured (correctly) that I'd be done buying them much sooner than I would if I weren't EC'ing. Of course, once I'd finally found the cloth diapers I really liked, DD was having so few misses that we went diaper-free...but then I satisfied my "diaper" obsession by buying fancy trainers from the EC store. I'm actually a little sad now that we don't really need either anymore...

[isabchi]

I don't care about a medal!.. I started EC because made a lot of sense to me, even though I began with DD around her first year. I am very convince that EC is a parenting tool as breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping and so on.
We had another baby (DS) and we started EC from day 3. Now, we can't see babies with out a potty or a bowl. We really like cloth diapers, but just as a back up for EC.

[dogretro]

Originally Posted by orangefoot

I also smile when I see a big round cloth bottomed babe

Oh, I LOVE big, fluffy bums! I love to add new things to our stash, lol! Were we rich, believe me, ec or not, we would have quite the beautiful, fancy stash!

[DevaMajka]

I'm returning this thread. Let's make sure this thread stays about why you EC

[hrsmom]

I heard that line "you don't get a medal" SO many times when I was pregnant, when referring to natural childbirth. It's an interesting one!

As for EC, why do I EC? So many reasons! I made the decision to give it a try when I was pregnant, because I realized that if I didn't, my baby would be sitting in pee and poop for unknown lengths of time. (After first thinking I couldn't do it, I guess I heard about it and read about it enough times to decide to give it a try.) When she was tiny and pre-mobile, to me it was just the way I take care of my baby. It didn't seem like a big deal, and it was lovely to keep her clean and dry. When she got mobile and refused the potty a lot, I just hung in there because I still wanted to at least keep her dry. Now, at 20 months, I'm so glad we've been doing EC! She's been back to pooping in the potty for some time now, which is of course nice. She also doesn't seem to be one who is too bothered by being wet, so if I hadn't done EC, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be one of those to self-train or potty train early. Or potty train easily, I'm guessing. I think it would be pretty hard to potty train this particular child! (As lovely as she is!) She is gradually transitioning to potty independence (is definitely not completely there yet) and I love how gradual and natural that process is. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

When I first decided to do it, I also thought of the savings of diapers. For a time there we did have tons of misses each day and washed plenty of diapers. (Mostly line-dryed, though, as well.) But from about 17 months-ish we haven't had to wash very many trainers, and rarely even use actual diapers. From what I've read in different forums, I think we got by with a fairly small diaper and trainer stash, too.

[JessieBird]

"Don't be such a martyr" is the line I've heard from some members of my family, refering to my (successful!) plans for a natural birth, CD and EC. We EC for many of the reasons already mentioned and also because quite simply it's fun and it's a wonderful bonding experience.