Inconsolable newborn and sad mama...

[SilvanaRose]

My little guy is 4 days old and I'm having some major issues with breastfeeding. He knows how to latch but he screams and works himself into an almost rage and it's killing me to watch. I have been pumping and feeding him from a bottle even though I know it might affect his being able to latch on to me. We have been feeding him from a bottle just so he calms down. My DH has been giving him formula when I'm sleeping so I'm not sleeping anymore and I'm getting seriously depressed and tired. My milk came in on day 2 and I was able to get about 2oz from each boob at a sitting and now it seems like it's gone down. I'm so upset but I do not want to even think about giving up bf. I want sleep and DH took a week off work to help but he is sleeping more than me and I'm doing everything. I don't know if my DS has colic or if I'm eating something he's sensitive to. He has major gas and it seems to be very painful for him. I have tried every bf position, burping, light massage, warm compresses and I'm going insane. DH has suggested we get a pacifier and I said no. My IL's have suggested that we supplement with formula and I'm just feeling so damn frustrated, I just need some help. I have started taking pro-biotics and I'm hoping that helps. I have cut wheat and dairy out of my diet (for me as well as DS) in an attempt to cut out the allergy trigger foods. Is there any other foods that I should not be eating? I just don't know what to do. I'm going to a LLL meeting on friday but I'm hoping to get some guidance before then.

Thanks for any advice.

[ShwarmaQueen]

I know how frustrating it is. As a second time mommy (DD was a BFing pro) I thought this time would be easier, but it's NOT. We've had our share of issues!

I saw an LC (or breastfeeding educator, I think) and she not only gave me a ton of pointers, but pointed out that she strongly suspected tongue-tie. Sometimes it REALLY helps to have another set of eyes (not your in-laws, no offense) to catch any issues. Can you see an LC tomorrow?

Take a bath together and snuggle lots. Get skin to skin as much as possible. Lots of people have bumps in the road in the beginning and go on to have a long BFing relationship. Hang in there mamma and congrats!

[GoldmanBaby09]

At what point is your lo screaming and crying? Can he latch on and then screams at the let down? Can you feel when you let down at all? I know some babies are frustrated when they get a big, full mouth of milk with a strong let down. If this is the case, try hand expressing a little so the milk even outs in flow and then latch your lo on. Or is it the other way around and he screams because there isn't enough of a let down? I know it is hard, but the key at this point is to just keep nursing as much as you can. At 4 days, they are pretty much nurse around the clock when they aren't sleeping. The bottle can seriously hurt your supply and your baby's ability to latch, especially this young. I would suggest that you go to bed and stay there! Can you side lay at all? That was the easiest for me and I could worry about nothing else but nursing and sleeping with my baby. If you aren't cosleeping at night, I would suggest trying that, too.

As for the gas, that is very common for a baby that young as well. Their digestive systems are still working out all the kinks. I found that Hyland's colic tabs (I found them at Babies R Us for $4.99) seemed to help. They are homeopathic. I would also discontinue any formula. I would hide it from my DH if he just wasn't getting it. If your son does have a sensitivity, cow's milk will only make it worse. The only thing your baby needs is your milk.

Hang in there, Mama. Those first few weeks can be rough, but I swear it does get easier. Know that you can call your local LLL leader if you are still having problems in the mean time. Good Luck!

[mlec]

I know it might be hard, but I would suggest cutting out all forms of dairy and chocolate immediately, and for at least two weeks. SO MANY babies are sensitive to these things at least for a little while. We had a similar situation w/ DD1, and cutting out dairy eggs, soy, and chocolate saved bfing!

Good luck!

And I'm sorry about your dh. They're not much use when there's a newborn around. Just try to get him to take care of you, and follow your instinct w/ your babe.

[PatioGardener]

Hang in there Mama. You can do this! Here are somethings that may help:

1) spend as much time skin-to-skin with baby as possible
2) wear baby as much as possible
3) co-sleep safely
4) Get a good LC NOW. Ask your DH to call la leche league to get a recommendation in your area. It will cost less than formula in the long run.
5) Know that you can do this - it is REALLY REALLY hard at first, but you will both learn. Baby and you need to learn. You learn by practicing.
6) If you can describe the troubles you are having latching, Mamas here may be able to help. Sometimes it can be positioning at the breast, or something like bottle preference for flow (so you can pump for 2 min before latching to get the let down faster) or not feeding baby before he gets super hungry so he is all worked up at the breast etc.
7) Know that once baby is at the breast you can ditch that pump and just breastfeed and it will all get easier!
8) what colour are baby's poops? Does he gulp at the breast? Splutter and pop off? You may have over active let down that is causing an upset tummy - try nursing lying down or leaning back. Or if baby is bottle fed, this may go once the bottles/formula go.

You can do this, Mama! Hang in there!

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by GoldmanBaby09

At what point is your lo screaming and crying? Can he latch on and then screams at the let down? Can you feel when you let down at all? I know some babies are frustrated when they get a big, full mouth of milk with a strong let down. If this is the case, try hand expressing a little so the milk even outs in flow and then latch your lo on. Or is it the other way around and he screams because there isn't enough of a let down? I know it is hard, but the key at this point is to just keep nursing as much as you can. At 4 days, they are pretty much nurse around the clock when they aren't sleeping. The bottle can seriously hurt your supply and your baby's ability to latch, especially this young. I would suggest that you go to bed and stay there! Can you side lay at all? That was the easiest for me and I could worry about nothing else but nursing and sleeping with my baby. If you aren't cosleeping at night, I would suggest trying that, too.

As for the gas, that is very common for a baby that young as well. Their digestive systems are still working out all the kinks. I found that Hyland's colic tabs (I found them at Babies R Us for $4.99) seemed to help. They are homeopathic. I would also discontinue any formula. I would hide it from my DH if he just wasn't getting it. If your son does have a sensitivity, cow's milk will only make it worse. The only thing your baby needs is your milk.

Hang in there, Mama. Those first few weeks can be rough, but I swear it does get easier. Know that you can call your local LLL leader if you are still having problems in the mean time. Good Luck!

At 4 days old, I'm not sure that a dairy allergy would already be presenting itself. Eliminating dairy from your diet certainly wouldn't hurt, but it may not be necessary. Your baby has only been breathing air for 4 days, and the crying that he's doing with the latching trouble is probably enough to make him gassy.

Try swaddling him before feeding. Offer the breast BEFORE he starts crying from hunger - crying is a late hunger cue and it becomes much harder to get a good latch when they are already that hungry. And though it's hard, try to relax when feeding. He is going to feed off of your anxiety. Put on some calming music, put him to your breast when he's calm, talk to him lovingly, and try not to expect an ideal feeding. You are BOTH figuring all this out.

Most importantly - your ILs don't need to be involved in this situation AT ALL, especially if they are not going to support your commitment to breastfeeding.

[isabchi]

Congrats mama for the brand new baby!!!. Your are doing a wonderfull job try to help your little one.
First at all. Please try to as much when the baby sleep. I highly recommend not receive visitors at least they go to help with household core. You need to rest for you and Dh sanity. Secondly, some mamas like to nursing laid down on bed, so you can rest too. If it's possible (I highly suggest), stay skin to skin as much it's possible. Try baby led feeding. Lay you baby in you chest right under your chin and letting decide him where to go. Offer support whin you hand in the neck and his back. So he can feel secure, but not controle his head movement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYcpk...om=PL&index=58
Also, you can check out abou tonge tied

http://www.youtube.com/watchv=vWxCHM...0F91F&index=62


If you need to supplement first try to supplement with you own milk, the formula. Could be a good idea to skip bottle feeding and use a syringe, SNS or cup feeding.
Check and count the stools and wet diapers. I think that the norm is day 1, one poopy diaper,day2 -two diapers, day 3 -3 diapers, day 4 -4 poopy diapers...
Try to contact a LC as soon it's possible and call to LLL leader to help you over the phone.
Also it's a lot of info in http://www.kellymom.com

I'm sure that the wise momas here in MDC going to help you more.
Best to you and your baby.

[EmilyG]

Hang in there momma!
If he's getting frustrated waiting for your milk to let down, you can try pumping until the milk is coming, then latch him on!
Sometimes being tummy to tummy with him helps if he has a tummy ache, the warmth of your body will help his tummy. Sucking may help too, if you're anti-pacifier you can offer your finger or knuckle for him to suck a little for comfort.
I'd put everything you need within easy reach of your bed and just stay in bed with baby, if you need something, tell dh to get it for you, he can make himself useful! The more rest you can get the better. Stressing and not sleeping won't help your milk supply.
Those first few weeks can be rough, but hang in there, I promise it will get better!

[shannonwren]

It will get better!

I know how you feel. I had so many problems in the beginning and was in tears trying to figure it out. The best things that helped me was going to a local breastfeeding support group. If you can find one with a good lactation consultant, she will watch you nurse and can help identify the problem there and come up with solutions.
I had an oversupply with a very fast let down and my babe cried so hard. Nursing on my back with him on my stomach helped until my supply adjusted. He was also sensitive to chocolate and dairy so I cut that out.
Good luck to you and I hope you can find a group in your area! If you are in NYC I can recommend some people!

[odoole]

Originally Posted by Bokonon

At 4 days old, I'm not sure that a dairy allergy would already be presenting itself. Eliminating dairy from your diet certainly wouldn't hurt, but it may not be necessary.

Agreed. You should expect to see this more around 2-3 weeks if your baby's intolerant.

Be sure to pump regularly if the baby's not breastfeeding well. These first few days are critical for establishing your supply.

My son didn't breastfeed well for the first 2-3 weeks. He was a preemie, so it mostly had to do with fatigue rather than crying or latch issues. He had a bottle that whole time, and i pumped every 2-3 hours. He has no problems breastfeeding now. I remember gas was a huge issue initially, but he got over that by about 6 weeks oe so, like most babies.

[dakotablue]

have you tried a nipple shield? I know you said he latches, but with a nipple shield the milk tends to pool like a bottle nipple. Also it feels more like a bottle in the back of the mouth (that's where my issue with DS was) Since it sounds like he is used to the bottle for food thus may work.
Then you'll still have the other issue of weaning him off the shield, but that's easier than the bottle and he'll be used to your breast.

will he comfort suck at the breast?

[HoosierDiaperinMama]

Originally Posted by dakotablue

have you tried a nipple shield? I know you said he latches, but with a nipple shield the milk tends to pool like a bottle nipple. Also it feels more like a bottle in the back of the mouth (that's where my issue with DS was)

ITA. A nipple shield is one of the only ways I am able to breastfeed. I have inverted nipples so without it there is nothing to stimulate his palate. You are supposed to wean them eventually, but my DS is 3 mos. and we still have to use it. He can latch without it occasionally but never stays latched for very long.

Hang in there! My sister has a 6 week old and she is having many of the same issues that you are. Some of them are almost exactly what you are describing! Continue trying to get him to latch. It will make your life easier when/if he does.

[annekh23]

I would definitely consider non bottle methods of supplementing, you really don't know at this stage whether this is a short term problem, or the beginning or a marathon, but you can always go to bottles later if you do have a longer term problem.

We turned out to have a longer term issue with our 3rd, though not as long as some accounts I've read! But being bloody minded about not giving her bottles was probably the most useful thing we did even at the stage the LCs were saying give her a bottle (at about 6 weeks).

We had a good experience using a LC, one thing I liked was that they gave us a written plan, so even if I disagreed with something, I had a list of what I needed to do, which I think made me feel like we were going somewhere rather than just being in a fog of pain and hunger!

[PatioGardener]

How are things today. Mama?

[Friday13th]

My DS did this too. I had a csection so my milk took 5 days to fully come in. Before it was in fully he would latch on, suck for 30 seconds and freak out. I ended up putting him on the breast whenever he got fussy which seemed like it was constantly and he'd suck on each side for 30 seconds and cry, over and over again. I finally figured out that in addition to constantly putting him to the breast, I'd pump whatever I could get and once he latched on very slowly syringe feed him the milk to keep him calm until my milk started to let down.

I'd really ditch the bottles. If you're really worried about getting food into him, I'd supplement him at the breast. I used one of the syringes that came with a bottle of gripe water, you don't really need anything fancy.