Alternating Btwn Cosleeping/ Crib Sleeping w 4 month oldHelp!

[Josie H]

we have a four month LO with mild colic. she is always picked up when she cries and this keeps her calm and happy. however she has the eating habits/timing of a newborn, she wakes every 45 minutes, and eats between every 2-3 hrs and is an very restless sleeper. she requires reassurance -petting to sleep, replacing binky etc, every 45 minute or so. sometimes the nighttime fussiness is gas, but generally i think it is just baby-ness, needing to know her mama or papa is close. she often falls alseep w her hand on my face or holding hands. co sleeping with both parents was very disruptive to my hubby and i, so we decided to do swing shifts, he works 24 hrs, so on my nites i just sleep w the baby in my bed. on his nites at home, he sleeps on the couch which is about 20 ft from the nursery/crib and tends to her. she sleeps in the crib for the initial part of the nite, and after 3 has to sleep on papa or next to him. i find i cannot sleep at all getting up and petting her every 10 minutes or so. i am happier with the co sleeping. i just bought a rail for our nites. but my hubby wants to work on her crib sleeping. our baby is pretty flexible when it comes to sleeping locales, on the couch next to her caretakers, the parent's bed, the occasional crib nap, the stroller, but i am wondering if she is more fussy with me, or i can hear her more, or she can smell me and wants me more? i do not want her in our bed through her toddler years, i think that is fine for lots of families, for sure, and works great, but for us, i think i would prefer she eventually transfer. right now i feel like co sleeping is best when alone (i.e hubby at work). She is such a restless sleeper that whomever is not on nite duty is waking as well so it is better to be separated sometimes. Please help and advise.

[snoopy5386]

I coslept with DD for 14 months or so. It didn't work for DH to sleep with us (we even bought a king bed, it didn't help) so he slept on a twin in the nursery during that time. That way at least one of us was rested and he always let me sleep on the weekends. Since I was home with DD, I napped during the day with her too.
We tried several times over that 1st year to get her into her crib full time and it never worked. We finally gave up cosleeping because it clearly wasn't working any more - DD wouldn't be put to sleep by us in the usual manner (nursing, rocking, bouncing, pushing her in her stroller, etc). She was waking every 10 to 20 mins for hours, clearly struggling to put herself back to sleep and not being soothed by us. That coupled with the fact that DH wanted to come back to his bed and neither one of us wanted to be cosleeping with an older toddler helped us decide to transistion her to her crib full time. I'm not going to lie, there were tears, but overall it was over quickly and now looking back on it almost 3 years later it was the right decision. DD is a happy, bright, outgoing, well adjusted child and independent sleeper. She ended up loving her crib sooo much she had a really hard time adjusting to the idea of moving to a big girl bed which is transition we gently made over the past 4 months.

I'm pregnant now and we just put a double in the nursery - I plan on trying to get this baby into the crib more from the beginning, but still being right there and still being open to cosleeping part time.

I will say I don't think it is a good idea for your DH to cosleep with your DD on the couch. I think that really raising the chances of smothering, rolling on her, etc.
Good Luck with your decision.

[Josie H]

snoopy-thanks for your reply --i wonder if it is often up to the child as well, in the sense that his personality determines in part, how long he will need to be in bed w u. some of my friends have a 2 yr old in bed still and an infant sleeping independently. i think dd needs to be in bed for the closeness but also the discomfort of colic. thanks for your thoughtful post and best wishes for your pregnancy, hugs, josie

[springbride]

DD has been a restless sleeper here too. I found that she slept great when nestled into mama/papa, like your DC woke often when sleeping alone. She had an earache a few weeks ago and I discovered something! I you swaddle tightly (at 5mo 1wk we still swaddle for all naps&nights) and then set baby in a boppy so that DC is propped up with shoulders resting against the inner curve of the boppy, it "hugs" baby and provides that extra security.

Disclaimer: I always do this when swaddled to make sure that baby isn't flailing around and getting wedged funny, also DD has never tried to roll over in bed. If your DC is wanting to roll in bed, use caution as rolling into boppy could obstruct breathing.

For us this solution works great, and she sleeps without waking for 2.5 hours now.