Would it surprise you to see a 10-yo boy do these things? - Page 2

[Cavy]

Oops! Sorry I took a while 2 return.
Thanks 4 replies.
DS has been playing as described & I think it's entirely normal too -- my DH is right in there with him, too. Building big bunkers in the sand and dams, etc.

But two of my relatives have expressed surprise about DS (not criticism, just surprise). And I am surprised that they should be surprised.

We live in the UK & are visiting California where I grew up; maybe I am just a lot better at filtering out inappropriate influences at home, but I'm feeling like the pressures on kids 2 grow up 2 fast are much worse here in the USA -- maybe my own mistake 4 letting DC watch Cartoon Network most mornings .

[MusicianDad]

Sounds like those relatives need a lesson on enjoying the simple things in life.

[chfriend]

I live in the US and have an enormous extended family. From toddler, through middle childhood into adulthood, we all play on the beach when we have the chance.

Even the ones who visit the California beaches from Utah.

Silly relatives.

[bscal]

Sounds like completely normal 10 yr old boy stuff to me... I have several friends with boys around that age.

-Beth

[Storm Bride]

Do the relatives think it's inappropriate? Or, are they just surprised, because they're surrounded by jaded 10 year olds who never go outside, think that having fun is "kid's stuff" and don't want to be away from their Nintendos? I remember a few of ds1's friends getting like that around that age. I was so glad that ds1 kept his...zest.

[giftedwith2]

My son will be twelve next month and he plays like this every day. I'd rather he were pushing a monster truck than driving one with a joy stick in a video game. Perfectly normal IMO.

[lorijds]

Considering that yesterday, my 6th grade dd and her two best buds (boys) were out in the snow, burying themselves, digging tunnels, sling-shooting old barbie dolls and other toys, and alternately pretending to be at war with zombies with pretending to be rabid squirrels trying to take over the world...no, I don't think this is inappropriate behavior at all.

Perhaps your relatives aren't used to children of that age. If they are, then they're just trying to get your goat. Don't worry about it.

And FYI, it doesn't change. My dh and his brother (37 and 40 at the time) spent two hours one thanksgiving kicking the soccer ball at each other, trying to drill each other in the chest and knock the wind out of each other. DH had a bruise the next day. Last thanksgiving on a big long walk they and their 64 year old father kicked osage oranges at each other and the kids (they called it bowling with monkey brains--with the osage oranges being the balls and the kids being the pins) for the entire 3 mile walk. Then there was a contest to see who could throw the farthest and the most accurately, nailing the "monkey brains" into trees. One year there was an epic snow ball fight that left more than one grandchild in tears and ended with the two of them outside throwing snowballs at each other long after we were all inside drinking hot chocolate. Croquet at our family get togethers is a contact, intense event. Fingers have been smashed, noses have been bloodied (though that was from chasing each other around, and someone tripped over a wicket. They aren't your stereotypical standard american dudes--they're organic farmers/stay at home dad types. But they are male AND brothers, and this is just what some *normal* boys of ALL ages do.

[Momily]

Are they surprised that he is doing those things or that they are the only things he's doing?

My 10 year old would happily do the things you listed, but if he were at the beach in weather that allowed for swimming, he's also body surf or boogie board for hours. Then, when I called him back and asked him to do something quieter for a while (because i worry about him pushing himself to the point of exhaustion and drowning in the surf) he'd do those thing you listed.

A 10 year old from California, with way more access to the beach might enjoy the things you mentioned, but might also have other interests/skills such as surfing that a child who lives elsewhere might not have. This wouldn't be a sign that one kid is more grown up, or has been pressured to grown up, just that kids develop skills with what's around them.

Similarly, my 10 year old cousins would come up and visit from Texas when I was a kid, and if it snows they'd want to play in the snow doing similar. My 10 year old is happy to do those things too, but his first question if it snows would be "can we go snowboarding", because he's had enough snow exposure, to 1) get over the novelty a little and 2) to develop some pretty awesome snowboarding skills.

[amma_mama]

I don't know, some people just have wierd expectations, either because their children were/are different or they are not used to kids being, well, kids. And, like other PPs, I would do most of those things at the beach by myself, even without DD (OK, maybe not the truck)...same in the snow or fall leaves...sand, snow and fall leaves are the perfect opportunity for some sensory-seeking joy and kid-in-all-of-us fun! And a 10yo IS a kid that should be enjoying similar play! I would be wondering more about the 10yo that did not think any of that was fun...

[mommy777]

Sounds normal to me. Just be glad he is running a truck through the sand instead of trying to sneak a ciggarette or something. I'd much rather him act like a kid. Most people now days think that 10 year olds should be acting like teens, they're really young children.