I want I want I want

[windorabug]

if I hear this any more I am going to lose my cool. (actually again ) It grates on my nerves like nobody's business.
Please help me to help her learn some new ways of asking for the things she needs.

eta: I have tried asking her if she could think of a new way & she does sometimes say may I or I need. But the "I want" is the go -to & almost always said with a whine or as soon as I sit down.
I have also tried ignoring it & that does not work.

[Cavy]

"Oh do you really? That's nice. I'd like a new car, myself and all day in bed on Sundays."
Treat her comments like a conversation -- if she wants something she needs to ask for it nicely & properly.
If she gets upset that you seem to be ignoring her desires, point out (nicely) that she never asked you 4 anything, she merely stated her desire.

DC demand a lot of attention from me when I sit still, too -- was ever thus for children of busy parents!

[heathermarie73]

Originally Posted by Cavy

"Oh do you really? That's nice. I'd like a new car, myself and all day in bed on Sundays."
Treat her comments like a conversation -- if she wants something she needs to ask for it nicely & properly.
If she gets upset that you seem to be ignoring her desires, point out (nicely) that she never asked you 4 anything, she merely stated her desire.

DC demand a lot of attention from me when I sit still, too -- was ever thus for children of busy parents!

I love this reply! I think I'm going to try it. To the OP I am going through the same and I have to say it drives me crazy too.

[Oliver'sMom]

Oh man this drives me crazy too!! What I've been doing is telling ds to please ask nicely, and that when he talks with that voice it hurts my ears (literally!). 9 times out of 10, he still comes at me with the whiney "I want!", but when he does ask nicely I give him tons of praise and he's very proud of himself....it's a process

[VeezieTG]

"good thing your desire doesn't dictate my actions." lmao.

i also treat is as if they've just told me a want, and never ever respond to it with giving them what they didn't ask for. never. ever. funny enough, i don't do it for other people's kids either, and they look at me like i've got 2 heads!

my ds1 is an "i want"er... but i never do something based on "i want." and he will catch himself and say, "i want... i mean, can i please have..." and the little one says now, "have juice please." instead of starting the "WANT juice."

[windorabug]

Thanks, great ideas! My dd used to always say "have X please" I blame speech therapy on the I want errrr

[sgmom]

I've dealt with a few kids who were VERY bad at this. And both of them were always confused when I wouldn't just walk over and give them what they wanted. SOOOO cute watching their little faces try to figure it out.

I'd often reply with "Oh! It's nice to want things! Do you know what I want? I really want a new car (or something else they can help me figure out how to get). Do you like my car? It's pretty old, huh? How do you think I can get a new one?" and so on... Sooner or later they would ALWAYS say "You can ask someone for one", to which I'd reply "HEY! GREAT IDEA! If I ask for one, maybe someone will give it to me!"

Sometimes I'd leave it at that, and other times I'd swing the subject back to what they were "asking" for. It worked every time, and sooner than later, they'd remember to ask almost every time.

[just_lily]

Yep, I usually respond with "I want a million dollars." Most of my regular daycare kids know that this a prompt to ask nicely, so when they rephrase their request with "May I have some X please" I reply with an exaggerated "Oh, you wanted me to get that for you! I just thought we were making conversation."

I still get a lot of "I wants" but it is getting better.

[sweetpeppers]

I know. That drives me up the wall too. That's the one thing that just makes me want to smack a kid (or anybody...). I wanta, I wanta, augh! I just say, "Can I have X please, mama?" And he'll correct himself. Still it grates on me like nothing else.

[nina_yyc]

Originally Posted by VeezieTG

"good thing your desire doesn't dictate my actions." lmao.

Originally Posted by Cavy

"Oh do you really? That's nice. I'd like a new car, myself and all day in bed on Sundays."

Can you guys come to my house? LOVE this idea!!!!!

What I've been doing is rephrasing it for her. I say "Can I have ____ please?" and then she repeats. This IS working on DD but it's a sloooooooow process.

[Straggletag]

I have nothing to add, but we're dealing with the "I need" over here all day, every day and I am likewise pulling my hair out. It doesn't help that I can clearly see she got it from me.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by Straggletag

I have nothing to add, but we're dealing with the "I need" over here all day, every day and I am likewise pulling my hair out. It doesn't help that I can clearly see she got it from me.

That is what I deal with daily! I need, I need, I need....I am constantly telling him...."no you don't Need that, you Want that" lol and either way you aren't getting it.

[octobermom]

I have to as a whole avoid the reflective I want a new car ect response because it comes out sarcastic and fuels my anger WHile its nick picking this very reason is one reason DH and I have taught May I vs I want when I hear May I my perk up and get my body ready to listen when I hear I want I shut down and instantly think NO!
As the holidays brings out a lot of the gimmies and I wants so we do make sure we are doing some things for others as well (angle tree food bank donations toys for tots ect)

Deanna

[windorabug]

Originally Posted by octobermom

I have to as a whole avoid the reflective I want a new car ect response because it comes out sarcastic and fuels my anger WHile its nick picking this very reason is one reason DH and I have taught May I vs I want when I hear May I my perk up and get my body ready to listen when I hear I want I shut down and instantly think NO!

This exactly