playgroup and eating...

[happy1nluv]

Not sure where this post belongs, but I need help...

I try to follow Dr Fuhrman as much as possible -- mostly vegetarian, non-dairy, non-processed, etc. etc. etc... whenever we go out socially -- play dates, playgroup...even library story times... my kids are the ones that do NOT leave the food alone. I don't restrict them from anything when we're out... if the other kids get it, so can they (with the exception of peanuts which they've never had). My kids are 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and a baby... they older 2 are ALWAYS such pigs when we go out... esp the 2 1/2 year old. I feel like the other moms look at me and wonder if i EVER feed my kids...

I try and feed them exceptionally well before we go to one of these things (I even "hide" choc chips in their oatmeal so they eat it all to find them, which I don't like doing either (they LOVE their oatmeal plain but I can get them to eat "extra" if I hide a few mini chips)...

(I should mention it always seems to be animal crackers, teddy grahams, gold fish, pretzels -- I even buy pretzels sometimes too!... I really need mom friends that share my food philosophy, but there dont seem to be any around here. And.. my kids REALLY like playing with other kids (and need to), but I REALLY don't like taking them anywhere other kids are because it always ends up being about the food, not the kids...

Any ideas how I can get the kids to be not so food focussed???

[AbbieB]

Not knowing anything about the diet you are following or your reasons I'll do my best to respond.

I think one thing you could do would be to be sure to bring your own snacks with you that are more acceptable, maybe even a more acceptable version of the things they are craving.

Maybe even bring lots to share. I know precut melon tends to be a huge hit whenever we bring it to share.

I don't think it's uncommon for kids to go bonkers over foods that other kids are sharing, especially ones that are yummy (not necessarily healthy) and not something they get at home.

[Vancouver Mommy]

Other people's snacks are always more interesting. My kids are like that too. I just make sure to have something to share - usually fruit or something.

[JL83]

We don't do a restricted diet, but I know at my playgroup the toddlers are always begging food off other moms. It doesn't matter if I bring my DD's favorite food and another mom has something I *know* she doesn't like, DD will go and ask for some before eating what I brought.

It's just how little kids are wired. At this stage in a more "village" setting, they'd be starting to fend for themselves by asking for food rather than being nursed by their own mother.

At my playgroup we kind of laugh about it.

But, there are mothers who don't let their kids take food. There is one vegan family and the kids have been taught that they eat what their mom brings. There's another kid with a bunch of food allergies who only eats what his mom brings. So it's not like you have to let your kids eat other people's food.

[happy1nluv]

its not that we do a restricted diet - we just don't bring those kinds of things in the house. if the kids want cookies - we make them (much healthier, low to no sugar... but still cookies). I just hate feeling like I'm bringing my kids to play and all they do is eat the crap... and i'm sure im talked about afterwards...

its a rotating playgroup - host provides snacks. we do fruit, whole grain pretzels, and a baked good of some kind... now that i think about it -- the 2 year old acts the same foodwise at home or out (i rarely leave food out - we eat in the kitchen, supervised or its a huge mess). The 4 year old definitely wants the junk and gorges... I guess im just self conscious about it...

[JL83]

Would it help you to know that it's very unlikely that anyone is talking about you?

Toddlers eat when the mood strikes them.

[operamommy]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

Other people's snacks are always more interesting. My kids are like that too. I just make sure to have something to share - usually fruit or something.

Yep. I used to always say that pulling out a snack at playgroup is like throwing bread to 1 pigeon.

[Brigio]

Are they getting enough protein/fat? They might just be hungry. Also, some people don't do well with grains and it can become addicting for them. I personally believe that children need a lot of fat so top choices for our breakfast are eggs and smoothies with coconut milk... when we do do grain its soaked or sprouted and with a lot of fat.

[happy1nluv]

brigio - i try to believe that theyll eat when theyre hungry and offer lots. 2 yr old eats ALL DAY LONG. 4 yr old would exist on pretzels and oatmeal if i would let him (he's limited to 10 pretzels a day or one bag a week however he wants to do it) ... i think i'll actually try and pay attention to what he actually eats... he's not wasting away by any means, but ...hmmm....

jl83 - i hope they don't, but its only my kids that are food magnets... the other kids will sit and eat at one point, but then they're off... my kids are opposites - they sit and eat and play at one point...

So... if I were at your house and my kids were going to plow through all the snacks you had out... how would you want me to handle it? Just let em at it? Limit it even if it means diverting kid every 30 sec? Leave if they won't leave the snacks alone? I'm already considered the "weird" mom ...(altho they are open to stuff. its just not their "thing") (One house typically puts out lil munchies, but then something like cupcakes where there is only a few more than 1/kid... but its not "counted" as such...)

[AbbieB]

If I was hosting a play group and there was a small child that just sat and ate I probably would be thinking "growth spurt!". I would not be offended.

If it was my child that sat and ate the whole time, and I preferred that he/she ate less junk I would be sure that I brought my own stash of snacks. Then I would probably limit how much of the junk was consumed and would then redirect my child to the snacks from home.

I would also set the expectation about how much and what is OK to eat before arriving at the playgroup. Something like "You can have 2 handfuls of chips (or 1 cupcake, 10 pretzels, etc...) and then you need to choose from your lunch box."

Does your child eat and eat in a very hurried manner and end up eating most of the provided snack? Or does your child sit and eat in a relaxed way, only really eating as much as every other kid? I think this would make a difference in how I would handle the situation.

Another thought on your child with the carb jones. I have been told repeatedly by docs and dietitians that craving wheat or gluten could be because I have an allergy to it. The same folks have also pointed out that many people are sensitive to gluten and never know it.

I agree that your kids may need a little more fat and protein for breakfast to feel full. Protein and fat also help regulate blood sugar and prevent the sudden energy crash that can make you feel that super hungry feeling.Maybe oatmeal works as a great breakfast on a less active day but on exciting, high energy playgroup days it's just not enough.

[zebra15]

It may be a bit of the 'forbidden fruit' syndrome going on. Your kids dont really get the cute little snacks at home and when they see them out and about they go bonkers for them. Hey what can I say, mainstream food is cool?? IDK much about the diet you follow but if IF you dont have food allergies etc maybe start to toss in a box of goldfish crackers for your kids, or some plain teddy grahams etc at home that way its not as exciting when they see those things at the playgroups.

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by AbbieB

Another thought on your child with the carb jones. I have been told repeatedly by docs and dietitians that craving wheat or gluten could be because I have an allergy to it. The same folks have also pointed out that many people are sensitive to gluten and never know it.

I agree that your kids may need a little more fat and protein for breakfast to feel full. Protein and fat also help regulate blood sugar and prevent the sudden energy crash that can make you feel that super hungry feeling.Maybe oatmeal works as a great breakfast on a less active day but on exciting, high energy playgroup days it's just not enough.

I hate to say it, but that behavior sounds just like the adult me when I was a vegetarian! The diet just didn't work for me, and I over-compensated with major carbs, and consequently gained over 20 lbs.

[*Aimee*]

The fuhrman diet doesn't have a ton of fat or protein if I remember (I tried it but was sooo hungry and tired of blended salads). I'd try giving them some more of that.

Also, I don't think other parents really care. the only time this sort of thing has ever bothered me is I have one friend whose daughters always ate my boys lunches at every playgroup. I tried making them extra big to share and they'd still eat it all while my kids were playing. they'd also drink all their water (big water jugs, and when we were out we were out). That just got old because while my kids would be playing, they'd come back to eat, and their food would be all gone.

But I totally agree new food is always more exciting that the usual.

[junipermuse]

Originally Posted by happy1nluv

So... if I were at your house and my kids were going to plow through all the snacks you had out... how would you want me to handle it? Just let em at it? Limit it even if it means diverting kid every 30 sec? Leave if they won't leave the snacks alone? I'm already considered the "weird" mom ...(altho they are open to stuff. its just not their "thing") (One house typically puts out lil munchies, but then something like cupcakes where there is only a few more than 1/kid... but its not "counted" as such...)

It seems like your concern is that someone else is providing the food and it might be unfair to let your kids eat more than their share on somebody else's dime. If it were my kid and I was concerned about this sort of thing I would do two things. First I would try to make sure we all ate very high fat/protein meals before heading out to the playgroup, that should help curb the appetite some more. Second I would bring a variety of our own snacks in a lunch box or mini cooler. When we got to the playgroup I'd let them know that the hostess-provided snacks were for everybody and that they could have some, but after they finished their share, if they're still hungry they could eat what you guys brought from home. And then remind them again after they've eaten their share of food, that they are welcome to eat the snacks that you brought. Another idea would be just to bring another something to share with the whole group. I would just say light heartedly to the hostess, "my kids have such big appetites, they could eat you out of house and home, so we brought a little extra food to share"

[srs]

Another vote for more fat/protein. We are vegetarian as well, and most of the snacks you mentioned that the other parents provided are pretty simple carbs, crackers and such, and it's easy to just eat and eat those and not feel full. It's also really easy not to think about balanced snacks when you're following a standard American diet, which I'm guessing most of the other parents and kids are. I'm not at all familiar with the Furhman diet, but any way to add nut butters (non peanut if you prefer), avocado, etc to some of the cracker type snacks?

Originally Posted by staceychev

I hate to say it, but that behavior sounds just like the adult me when I was a vegetarian! The diet just didn't work for me, and I over-compensated with major carbs, and consequently gained over 20 lbs.

This is kind of OT, but I wanted to respond because I have had the opposite experience. I had way more carb cravings before becoming vegetarian, I think because I always got enough protein so I just ate whatever carbs too and didn't notice. Now I really feel "carbed out" if I don't get enough fat/protein.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Originally Posted by *Aimee*

The fuhrman diet doesn't have a ton of fat or protein if I remember (I tried it but was sooo hungry and tired of blended salads). I'd try giving them some more of that.

Fuhrman's plan actually allows you to eat pretty much as many legumes as you possibly can, so the protein is quite high. Fat is nearly non-existent, though.

[elmh23]

I know nothing about Fuhrman but if fat is nearly non-existent, then that is not good! Young children need LOTS of healthy fats to help them feel full and to help them grow.

OP, bring your own snacks if you don't want your children eating what the others are, or at least not eating it all. And no one is judging you more than likely. I've only judged one mom in the 5 years we've been doing playgroup and that was because she'd go on and on about how they didn't do snacks, all the while her kids are devouring everyone elses snacks. But that was more because of her attitude then the kids.

[mouso]

Originally Posted by operamommy

Yep. I used to always say that pulling out a snack at playgroup is like throwing bread to 1 pigeon.

So true.
At my co-op preschool group everyone eats everybody else's food. It's become a running joke. Pull out a container and suddenly you're surrounded by a bunch of little outstretched hands.

[rayo de sol]

Originally Posted by Doodlebugsmom

Fuhrman's plan actually allows you to eat pretty much as many legumes as you possibly can, so the protein is quite high. Fat is nearly non-existent, though.

Legumes (beans) actually aren't really that high in protein. They're mostly carbohydrate.

Good sources of protein with the full spectrum of all the amino acids that we need are exclusively animal products: eggs, cheese, meat, poultry, fish.

I agree that the OP's kids might be so hungry because their diet is lacking protein and fat. Also, they might be allergic to wheat and therefore craving it.

In my experience, the more carbohydrates my diet contains, the more I crave more of the same.

Instead of oatmeal for breakfast, how about eggs? Or at least put a tablespoon or two of coconut oil or butter in each bowl of oatmeal.

[happy1nluv]

I make their oatmeal with almond milk... the 4 yr old can tell if I try and add anything else (like almond butter...). He's pretty picky with HOW I make his stuff... I follow fuhrman's what to eat, not how much (so they're not restricted fat-wise or anything... ) BUT, you've reminded me that I haven't made date nut balls in a while and they LOVE those, so we'll try those before the next playgroup and see how it goes...