How to explain there is no "naughty list"

[ChristyMarie]

Oh, thank you Dora the Explorer (and Grandma).

Grandma has been talked to but that Dora, she just doesn't listen.

Now that DS (3.5) has heard about the naughty list and no gifts - how to best explain that we give gifts because we love each other, not based on behavior?

We do Santa, btw. He brings everyone in the family a gift.

[mumkimum]

I dunno how exactly you've explained Santa, but what I'd probably do is (we've mentioned when asked that Santa is not real but sortof a fun game people like to play around the holidays, including us) say that some people like to talk about a 'naughty list' as part of the Santa game. But the most important things about Santa are being giving and generous to people no matter what. Everyone has times of being 'nice' or 'naughty' and that you don't think that 'being naughty and not getting gifts' really matters considering that (and maybe mention that Dora/grandma have decided it does for them which is fine, but it doesn't matter for your family).

[Vancouver Mommy]

I would tell her that some parents try and manipulate thier children to make them behave a certain way.

[Storm Bride]

We do Santa. I just tell my kids that the "naughty list" is silly - Santa wouldn't refuse to give someone a gift, just for not being perfect - and that I don't know why people believe in it.

[MusicianDad]

We explained that the Santa that comes to our house doesn't keep track of behaviour because he just loves giving presents to people and wouldn't get the chance to if he had to skip everyone that had done something bad.

[funkymamajoy]

I never really believed in the naughty list anyway. Just like I never believed that Grandpa would stop buying me candy.

[butterfly_mommy]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

We explained that the Santa that comes to our house doesn't keep track of behaviour because he just loves giving presents to people and wouldn't get the chance to if he had to skip everyone that had done something bad.

For how I will explain to DS if he ever asks about it.

Originally Posted by funkymamajoy

I never really believed in the naughty list anyway. Just like I never believed that Grandpa would stop buying me candy.

For how I think most kids would think about the naughty list in families that do not actually withhold presents for being "naughty". The will still get presents from Santa even through they were "naughty".

It's funny but a lot of the Christmas cartoons with Santa talk about the naughty list or the nice list and even Santa uses it as a threat "you better be good, I'm watching" "Have you been a good girl?" etc but Santa also usually wins over the antagonist by giving them a present even if they have been "naughty" Ex. Santa Clause is coming to Town" Santa gives the Winter Warlock a wooden train after he has been caught and bullied by him. The winter warlock says "A choo choo, nobody has ever given me a present before" and he shed's a tear and becomes helpful and Santa's friend. Just an observation.

[lonegirl]

Well...we don't push the list....but you know for us we buy fun stuff all the time (not just for special occassions)....and he knows that if consistantly has been acting up or misbehaving we are much less likely to buy a toy on a whim for him....But when it comes to Christmas (and birthdays) a gift will be bought none the less....but I do know of some who have returned gifts pre Christmas (especially if caught peeking)

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

I would tell her that some parents try and manipulate thier children to make them behave a certain way.

That's what we said. We don't do Santa, but DS heard about the "naughty or nice" thing at school. He asked if there are really people who don't get gifts because they're bad. I told him that a lot of parents just say that at Christmas time to get their children to behave, but it's generally not true that the children won't get any gifts.

Last night we ate out, and this mom kept telling her kids over and over and over that "Santa's watching. You're not going to get gifts." Finally the younger girl said, "I don't really care."

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades

That's what we said. We don't do Santa, but DS heard about the "naughty or nice" thing at school. He asked if there are really people who don't get gifts because they're bad. I told him that a lot of parents just say that at Christmas time to get their children to behave, but it's generally not true that the children won't get any gifts.

I knew someone once who got a lump of coal in his stocking one year.

[pokeyrin]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I knew someone once who got a lump of coal in his stocking one year.

Wow a child? That's harsh.

[Storm Bride]

Yeah. He was about...six, maybe. I was absolutely heartbroken. It wasn't even a joke (not that I think that's an okay joke for a little kid).

I still know the family, and they've come a loooonnng way. I can't even imagine them doing something like that these days.

[KimberlyD0]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

I would tell her that some parents try and manipulate thier children to make them behave a certain way.

How is having an expectation of behaviour manipulation?? I Expect my kids to behave in a certine way (dependent on age of course) and if they don't there is a conciquence.. thats not manipulation, thats the way the world works.


As for the list we've not run into that at this point, but when we were kids it was a game of sorts. We knew "Santa" would bring everyone presents, but there was joy to the list idea.