nursing and hospital stay

[River's mum]

I have to have back surgery next month. My 14 month old dd has never slept without me, nursing throughout the night. My dh is a very very heavy sleeper and for this reason, has always slept on a mattress next to us. I don't want to wean, or night wean and am concerned that leaving dd with dh won't work for a couple of reasons. First of all, he sleeps so heavily that I don't think he'll wake up when she cries. He doesn't now, not even when she's crawling on him. Secondly, I'm worried that he'll get frustrated and set up the crib and let her CIO. I'm adamantly against this and he knows it, but I don't think it would stop him from doing it.

My question is whether or anyone has ever kept baby with them only for the night, while recuperating in the hospital? DH would be there with us, on the cot, but this way, she could sleep nestled right next to me, just like normal.

Anyone?????

If not, please, help me with suggestions/recommendations.

[Peony]

My first thought would be to check to see if your hospital is even allowing children all, many are not right now because of H1N1. What kind of sleeper is she? Even if the staff does allow it, they are going to be in and out of your room very frequently, drawing blood in the the early morning hours. I might talk to your doc about it, if he agrees with the idea then you see if you can get an order written for your daughter to stay with you. That is going to be the easiest way to get nursing staff on board with it. Otherwise one shift could be ok, the next one could say no, she needs to go home. If your doc doesn't agree, and honestly I can't see any of the ortho docs I used to work with ever agreeing to this. You need to find out the H1N1 police, visiting hours, we used to kick all other family members out after a set time, it is going to very much depend on what staff is working that day, and how your recovery is. Don't under estimate how sore/tired, and potentially how much pain you may be in depending on what type of surgery it is. Every little movement from her could be problematic for you. Maybe not, everyone is different. You will need to sleep as much as you can despite all the people in and out of your room.

You may run into another problem if you do make it that far and then they discover that she is actually sleeping in your bed. Most hospitals have policies against bed sharing for liability reasons, and with a patient recovering from surgery, that is a huge risk in the staff's eyes. It is easier to bypass when it is a newborn and you can say that you were just nursing her, but not so much when it is a toddler.


As much as I understand where you are coming from, I seriously doubt that your daughter will be able to sleep with you, and it may be time to look for another arrangement. Do you have a friend that she can stay with? I know nothing is ideal and it is going to be difficult no matter what the arrangement is. I wish you the best of luck.

[Maluhia]

I'm so sorry but I doubt your hospital will go for it, and your DH sounds like not the right person for this....

Do you have a close friend or Mom who could come and cosleep with her for the night?