While I agree with following your instinct as a parent, I think there is a mistake in assuming all people should instinctually understand all people. Not everyone has raised males or is experienced in child development, not all people have male role models, not everyone has ideal or strong male models and some have downright horrible ones, not all people have even been around many males and on and on. Not everyone has the instinct. Some people have to learn as they go, some people do better as they know better. It's a learning journey for many of us as parents. And books can be a useful tool. Just like we use MDC.
LVale, you are implying false causation where it's a correlation. While your children may be amazing adults because of your amazing parenting, amazing parenting does not always cause you to have amazing kids and amazing kids don't always have amazing parents. Amazing parenting may be sufficient, but it's not necessary.
Also, if you had read the descriptions of the linked books you would have seen that they are not checklists or manuals telling what to do and what not to do or how to parent your child.
For example, the book
Raising Cain:
Quote:
| A genuine enthusiasm for their subject shines through the pages of this enormously compelling book, as the authors share insights on boys' emotional development from birth through the college years. An increasingly high-profile topic in the wake of disheartening statistics about adolescent suicide and violence. In much the same way that Reviving Ophelia offered new models for raising girls, therapists Kindlon and Thompson argue that boys desperately need a new standard of "emotional literacy," showing how our culture's dominant masculine stereotypes shortchange boys and lead them toward emotional isolation. The authors turn a spotlight on the inner lives of boys, debunking preconceptions about gender, explaining the importance of nurturing communication skills and empathy in boys as well as girls, and steering boys toward a manhood of emotional attachment, not stoicism and solitude. They also challenge the ways in which, in their view, traditional school environments put boys at a disadvantage (why not hold off on reading instruction a year or two? they ask; why not five short recesses a day?). Such issues as drinking, drugs and the "culture of cruelty" among adolescents, in which "anything a boy says or does can and will be used against him," also meet with sensitive treatment... |
It's not a parenting manual or a How To Raise Em: Boy Edition. It's a book about discussing and challenging stereotypes and the issues that result from such stereotypes. Relevant, thought provoking information to a parent.
And
The Trouble with Boys includes the Booklist review:
Quote:
| While the nation’s schools worked diligently to improve the academic performance of girls—including closing the achievement gap in math and science between girls and boys—few noticed the slow and steady decline in the academic performance of boys. The reading and writing achievement gap between girls and boys continues as boys also stack up unfavorably in every measure from school discipline, to graduation rates, to grades, to college admission. Newsweek reporter Tyre examines troubling statistics that detail the academic decline of boys and cites psychologists, sociologists, brain researchers, and others to explain the reasons behind the numbers. Tyre examines how schools—and broader society—have changed in ways that shortchange boys and how gender politics is affecting reactions to the dire statistics. She focuses on boys' specific problems—fidgeting in school, scattered attention, reading problems, and a shortage of male teachers. Through vignettes, Tyre offers advice to parents concerned about their sons. Most important, Tyre asks the ultimate question: how to help boys without jeopardizing the advances of girls. |
No check lists, no rules, just a book about gender issues and politics in schools and information about a very important topic that most parents--of boys and girls--would be concerned about and interested in learning about. And people into education theory and policy like me even more so.
A lot of good information can come from books, especially for people who seek to learn more and want to become more knowledgeable and better prepared in area they may be unsure or lacking. And that includes information about parenting, child development and related theory. There's no reason to discount them simply because your own personal experience did not require you to use such instruments. Many other people have differing experiences.
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and grew up with a sister and had lots of female friends growing up...and I still found it intersting to read books like Reviving Ophelia and Odd Girl Out. I asked my DH if he'd be interested in reading a book about boys (of the ilk that I'm looking for), or if he felt too BTDT. He said he would be interested in reading such a book, too (if he had the time).
