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Is it time to call social services? - Page 5

post #81 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
eh. I have a pretty intimate relationship with CPS. I know a pretty good deal about the agency. Have seen its good and definitely its bad.

I think your post is on the extreme side.

For one thing, calling CPS doesn't automatically mean foster care. Heck, there is a social worker already involved here, so most likely CPS has been called multiple times in the past and so far it hasn't meant foster care.

Maybe it is extreme...but just the thought of yet one more child being thrown to the mercy of an already inept government run organization just makes me . I feel so sorry for the little girl. Her situation is sad and unfair.
post #82 of 101
I agree with Sierra. This situation may not even end up with the child being removed. But, I believe (as a foster parent and someone who has many friends who work for/with CPS) that there are more good than bad foster parents.
post #83 of 101


What Sierra and Polliwog said. And I'm also a foster parent and I know many others that are foster parents, and many that work with CPS too.
post #84 of 101
Hey, its high time you did that…
post #85 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super_mommy View Post
Hey, its high time you did that…
Are you referring to the OP??

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
but I am calling social services now. -- ok off to call....
post #86 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by momo7 View Post
But I wanted to say that from everything I know about CPS, there is no way I would ever turn a child over to that organization.
Ever? The OP is in a position where she is neglecting medical care for her own children because she doesn't feel it's morally right to cart a neighbor kid off in the car without parental consent.

She is now in a position where it comes down to A, the neighbor kid she wants to do right by, or her own family. She's going to find herself in a position where she will eventually have to break the law in order to continue being a guardian to a child that she has not been appointed as guardian to. Nobel, sure. But she has children of her own, of which she owes her attention to, and her ability to parent in the capacity that she is now could be compromised by getting in trouble for carrying out guardian duties unofficially for a neighbor kid.

And you know.. I'm all for feeding the neighbor kids lunch if they seem hungry. Or even giving them clothes, toys, and offering to babysit and such. But we're talking about the OP making herself available to this child 100% of the time, or else she might freeze to death. She's not being a kind neighbor and modeling a stable family life. She's saving this kids life and can only do so as long as her OWN family is healthy and able to go along with the demands of caring for this kid.
post #87 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
Ever? The OP is in a position where she is neglecting medical care for her own children because she doesn't feel it's morally right to cart a neighbor kid off in the car without parental consent.

She is now in a position where it comes down to A, the neighbor kid she wants to do right by, or her own family. She's going to find herself in a position where she will eventually have to break the law in order to continue being a guardian to a child that she has not been appointed as guardian to. Nobel, sure. But she has children of her own, of which she owes her attention to, and her ability to parent in the capacity that she is now could be compromised by getting in trouble for carrying out guardian duties unofficially for a neighbor kid.

And you know.. I'm all for feeding the neighbor kids lunch if they seem hungry. Or even giving them clothes, toys, and offering to babysit and such. But we're talking about the OP making herself available to this child 100% of the time, or else she might freeze to death. She's not being a kind neighbor and modeling a stable family life. She's saving this kids life and can only do so as long as her OWN family is healthy and able to go along with the demands of caring for this kid.

I guess it depends on how much you really want to put yourself out for another person. It sounds like (from what the OP has said) that the little girl's family is persona non gratae any way. So would they even care or have a clue whether or not the little girl was being taken care of? In the original post the OP said the family just took off without the little girl, locked the house and left her to whatever. It was cold right? She had place to go?

Another issue is that CPS has already been over there AT LEAST once already. Wow. They are really on top of that situation aren't they?

So, yeah if it was me, she would just be part of my family. If she needed a place to go she would know to come to my house. If she was at my house and I had to leave she'd come with me, if she couldn't go back to her other house.

Like I said...it just depends on how much you really want to do for another person. If it's too much, if it puts you out beyond your capabilities then I guess you don't have another choice right?


By the way, I KNOW there are many many foster parents who are truly good.....but its seems to me that it must be the rare exception where all the abused foster children seem to turn up at.

For me it wouldn't even be a question. I'd just do it, take care of her. I guess it's probably because I have 9 children of my own....what's one more to me anyway.
post #88 of 101
you have to call the police when she is at your house and no one is home. they will take her to her houses to check. this way they will file a report about it and let childrens aid know. if you call childrens aid they dont come out right away. so there is no "proof" she was left alone. it is your word against theirs.
post #89 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by momo7 View Post

Another issue is that CPS has already been over there AT LEAST once already. Wow. They are really on top of that situation aren't they?
Dealing with CPS on an almost daily basis, I can tell you that most likely they got a referral for some reason. They are mandated to come out within a specific amount of time, and investigate the complaint. Where I live, it is generally 72 hours (3 days).

Whatever the complaint was about, it could have been remedied by the time CPS got to the home. At which point, the allegation is found to be unsubstantiated and the case/referral closed. There would be no further involvement or visits.

So, let's say you call and tell them that the child is left w/o a coat at outside with no one home at 3 am. CPS gets this call on Saturday morning. An intake/investigator is assigned when the call comes in. She will come out on Monday, talk see that the child is happy in the home, with no obvious issues. They will ask the parents about why on Saturday at 3 am there daughter was running around with no coat on and no one at home. They will lie and say that it is not true, that she was safe in her bed. They have no proof. They completed the investigation and have no grounds for further assistance. Case closed.

Now, let's say same thing as above. Instead of calling CPS, you call the police. They take her to the home, find no one answering the door they call CPS, child is placed by Police in custody of CPS at whatever time they get there (probably by say 4 or 5 am Saturday morning). Now, CPS comes out Monday to talk to the parents. No matter how much they try to deny, they have police and police reports to document. They now open a case and start making referrals and monitoring the situation. If no further problems w/in a period of time case closed. If further problems, they may go to Court and get the Courts involved.

I am not saying CPS is perfect. But in some cases bad things happen, and it is not always their fault. They follow the Guidelines set out by the State. They contract with agencies to provide foster care, those agencies are supposed to follow state guidelines as well. Good agencies follow it to a T, there are bad agencies that falsify documents or neglect to do all the background checks.

I have had CPS deny children going to a relative placement, because 10+ years prior to this case happening, a relative had a criminal conviction for anything (including such things as theft or DUI, or bad check passing). So, instead of being able to recommend family placement with this person, they have to recommend foster care.

Also, sometimes Judges overrule CPS, and place a child in a home against the wishes of CPS, and things turn bad.

My point - CPS is not always at fault when bad things happen. They are not always 100% right either, they do make mistakes. CPS employees are human, and just like all humans they make mistakes.
post #90 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by momo7 View Post
But I wanted to say that from everything I know about CPS, there is no way I would ever turn a child over to that organization.
Just wanted to point out that some of us are mandated reporters for our jobs and have no choice.


OP, I think you did the right thing in this situation!
post #91 of 101
In some states, including my own, EVERYONE is a mandated reporter. Of course, its not particularly common knowledge, and it still doesnt stop most folks from not getting involved.
post #92 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by momo7 View Post
I guess it depends on how much you really want to put yourself out for another person. It sounds like (from what the OP has said) that the little girl's family is persona non gratae any way. So would they even care or have a clue whether or not the little girl was being taken care of? In the original post the OP said the family just took off without the little girl, locked the house and left her to whatever. It was cold right? She had place to go?

Another issue is that CPS has already been over there AT LEAST once already. Wow. They are really on top of that situation aren't they?

So, yeah if it was me, she would just be part of my family. If she needed a place to go she would know to come to my house. If she was at my house and I had to leave she'd come with me, if she couldn't go back to her other house.

Like I said...it just depends on how much you really want to do for another person. If it's too much, if it puts you out beyond your capabilities then I guess you don't have another choice right?


By the way, I KNOW there are many many foster parents who are truly good.....but its seems to me that it must be the rare exception where all the abused foster children seem to turn up at.

For me it wouldn't even be a question. I'd just do it, take care of her. I guess it's probably because I have 9 children of my own....what's one more to me anyway.
So uh, what's the little girl supposed to do when it's below freezing & the OP isn't at home for some reason to take her in?
post #93 of 101
I'm glad to here you did call CPS....and you should be commended for looking out for this little girl in need
post #94 of 101
OP - I think you did the right thing by calling.
post #95 of 101
Did you end up calling? I didn't see an update. What was the outcome?
post #96 of 101
please call. Report them to CPS. A friend had a childhood like that and she's never recovered. My best friend and I are raising her children because she screwed it up so bad because she never knew what a family is supposed to be like.

Please call. It is the best you can do for this little girl. It will only get worse from here if you don't.
post #97 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by momo7 View Post
I guess it depends on how much you really want to put yourself out for another person. It sounds like (from what the OP has said) that the little girl's family is persona non gratae any way. So would they even care or have a clue whether or not the little girl was being taken care of? In the original post the OP said the family just took off without the little girl, locked the house and left her to whatever. It was cold right? She had place to go?

Another issue is that CPS has already been over there AT LEAST once already. Wow. They are really on top of that situation aren't they?

So, yeah if it was me, she would just be part of my family. If she needed a place to go she would know to come to my house. If she was at my house and I had to leave she'd come with me, if she couldn't go back to her other house.

Like I said...it just depends on how much you really want to do for another person. If it's too much, if it puts you out beyond your capabilities then I guess you don't have another choice right?


By the way, I KNOW there are many many foster parents who are truly good.....but its seems to me that it must be the rare exception where all the abused foster children seem to turn up at.

For me it wouldn't even be a question. I'd just do it, take care of her. I guess it's probably because I have 9 children of my own....what's one more to me anyway.
I wouldn't call CPS in a lot of situations where other people may; I'm all for supporting the family and helping the little girl. But the OP is not just in the position of going out of her way for this child; she is in the position of knowing the little girl may freeze to death if the OP is out of town. So if the OP is ever out shopping, at the ER, on vacation, visiting a friend, that means that the child may be locked outside in deadly temperatures - and that's not over-dramatic, cold can kill kids, especially the kind of cold the OP has described. I get supporting needy children; I used to have a neighbor kid who wandered in every day practically to our house, and she was one of the gang. But she wouldn't have died if I wasn't home, and I would never have been in the position of deciding to get medical care for my child or to break the law to take her with me. Whether or not she gets called on it, taking A anywhere without permission could potentially cause the OP a ton of trouble, especially since A's family doesn't know where she is. I wouldn't call CPS over a messy house, or a parent who didn't supervise to the levels I feel are what kids need, but there is a difference between that and risking a child's life. A repeated history of calls can also make a difference in how the case is handled; a family with a half-dozen calls from a few different neighbors about leaving a child outside in the snow might (hopefully) get a different approach than a family with one call that has no evidence to back it up.

Foster care is a broken system in a lot of ways, no doubt about it. But a call to CPS doesn't always mean foster care, and foster care can be necessary for some children.
post #98 of 101
I'm wondering how it's going, OP, I've been thinking about A.
post #99 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiekisses View Post
I'm wondering how it's going, OP, I've been thinking about A.
Me, too.

Has she been stopping by frequently? Have things gotten better in any way?
post #100 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oubliette8 View Post
In some states, including my own, EVERYONE is a mandated reporter. Of course, its not particularly common knowledge, and it still doesnt stop most folks from not getting involved.
Same with my province, and I think if something happens to the kid its a reverse onus, meaning you are not innocent until proven guilty, you ARE guilty, unless you can prove you are innocent.

Im glad you made the call. Poor kid.
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