Tell me I can do this

[S.Elise]

I am starting to get really nervous about this birth sans pain medication thing. My last birth in the UK went really, really well, but I had the epi for the last 4 cms (that and an IV/intermittent monitoring post-epi were the only interventions). Not willing to do that again, since back home here in America, it seems like you sign away all your rights as soon as that epi goes in.

I am so glad to be staying at home for this, and I think that is going to help alot with coping, plus I have a wonderful midwife, doula, calm and totally onboard husband, and I have done this before, sort of. My illusions about labr being a relaxing spa treatment (for me) are gone; I know its going to be HARD work and unpleasant...healthy, safe, stregthening and positive, but unpleasant. I am from an unbroken line of women who birthed naturally without pain meds and lived. Somehow I just feel like I am going to be the weakest link and completely fall apart. Any reassuring thoughts?

[Mama~Love]

You can it it !! Use birth affirmations, print them off and stick them everywhere to remind yourself how strong you really are. Sounds like you have a lot of support, which is really awesome!

http://www.rockymountainbaby.com/pag...firmations.php

http://www.babyinbloom.info/html/affirmations.html

http://www.waysofthewisewoman.com/bi...irmations.html

http://www.preciouspassage.com/Birth%20Affirmations.htm

http://www.positivebirthstories.com/affirmations/

[billikengirl]

You can do it!

During labor I said to my friend who had two unmedicated births, "Tell me you did this twice on purpose." That's what I told myself before and during labor--so many people do this more than once **on purpose,** it can't be THAT bad. And even though it's only been a month and I still vividly remember the sensations of labor I can honestly say that I would do it again.

I will say that I truly think that if I'd been in the hospital I'd have had every drug known to man, but being at home it never even crossed my mind. I think deep down I knew that I couldn't (easily) escape the pain, so that somehow made it easier to just surrender to the process. All the performance anxiety I'd anticipated just went away. When labor started I stopped worrying about "can I do this" and, because I had to, I just DID it. And you will too

[Carson]

I hear you. I broke down crying last night, completely overwhelmed thinking about everything and very afraid. So I don't have any sage words of advice, but I will say I am committed to doing this.

I hope it's helpful at least to know you're not alone. You're not alone in being unsure, and you're not alone in going birthing naturally. You will do it. We will do it.

[scottishmommy]

of course you can do it! try to think about labor as something that your body is doing to you. it isn't something that's happening to you. there will be times when you say "i can't do this, i want drugs!". we all have those moments when we give birth. the most important thing to do is to let go of the fear. i know that right now it's scary, but once you start laboring remind yourself that you are pefectly designed to give birth. i don't know if you're religious, but i remember telling myself that God wouldn't give me anything i couldn't handle.

[wbg]

YOU CAN DO IT MAMA! YOU ARE A WARRIOR BIRTHING GODDESS AND DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!!!

Have your support team know your fears so that they can cheer you on and tell you how amazingly well you are doing the whole way through.

Listen to your body! Focus on using the pain like a big bowling ball to push your baby out. If you fight the pain, the ball rolls up, but if you curl yourself around it and embrace it it is going to push your little one out.

Water birth worked for me but thats a personal choice. Also talk to your MWs about homeopathics for anxiety in labor.

Just remember you can not be in labor forever!! Physically impossible! You will get through it! And you get the coolest prize ever!!

Also, when you really hit the point where you cant take it anymore, there is a very high possibility that that is because your baby is minutes away! YAY!!!

I am a big wimp! really! Quite a baby! So if I can do it, you definitely can!! My DD wrote me a note which said "My Mom can do anything!" I taped it up in my birthing space and reminded myself of that! I used it like a mantra and I still do!

In the meantime, I will cheer you on!!!

YOU CAN DO IT! YOU ARE AWESOME!

Wishing you a beautiful birthing journey!

[S.Elise]

Thanks so much, everyone, you are all wonderful and all your messages are very, very helpful.

Originally Posted by scottishmommy

i don't know if you're religious, but i remember telling myself that God wouldn't give me anything i couldn't handle.

I'm not religious, but I definitely have a very similar sentiment in my mind about my body/this process not giving me more than I can handle, so this is a very helpful thought.

[alton]

My midwife told me that while she always bring canisters of gas to homebirths she has never actually opened one yet. Now I reckon I'll be the first, but that's another matter. She says that being at home is so much more relaxing than going to hospital - you don't have the awful car ride, the interminable admissions process, the strangers, the bleeping machines, the bright lights (I'm getting stressed just writing this) and less stress equals less pain.
It's giving me confidence that I can manage this.

[perditafoster]

Remember, too, that during natural labor, you get a break in between every contraction. During my two home births, I have fallen asleep during the last bit of active labor and transition...contrx are three minutes (or less) apart, and there I am, completely asleep in between 'em! Like, heavy asleep, dreaming, snoring kinda thing! It was crazy! DH said he was exhausted just watching me, but natural labor is just that, natural. It was painful and I wanted to climb out of my body, but I knew as soon as the current ungodly aching contraction was over, I would have a break. Not a long break, but a break! And then when there was no break in between contrx, that was when the pushing began, which for both my home births was like five minutes!

Our bodies are designed to labor naturally, which is why contractions hurt for the minute or minute and a half that they last, but then there is no pain in between! Of course, some moms with back labor have a different experience, but I'm going on my own experiences with anterior babies at home.

My two hospital births? Completely different and grueling. Absolutely grueling. Home birth all the way, no pain meds! Oh, and for me, when the baby was born, that was it. Poof! No pain! Delivering the placenta was a bit painful, but like stubbing a toe...no biggie, almost over, out! No pain! I wasn't even sore with my home births until days later and all the endorphins wore off