I broke down at the Dr's office today.

[Mommy2anangel]

This is partly a vent and partly seeking advice.

Today was DD's one year checkup; she turned one yesterday. We have only been to this dr. once before because we moved here about 4 months ago. (We've moved 3 times in the past 8 months, 2 of them across the country) Anyway, she was recommended by mamas on this board and when we met, I really liked her. She is very much for extended bfing and had no objections or anything negative to say about me nursing DD the entire time we were there today. She was supportive in fact. At our last checkup she told me that if I wanted to, when DD turned one, I don't have to start cow's milk, I can keep nursing her. She is super nice.

DD is sick, we all are this week hence the clingyness and wanting the nurse all the time. Anyway, she has always been on the lower side of the weight spectrum. Last time, she was just at the 5th percentile and this time, she was under the 5th percentile, weighing in at 16 lbs 3 oz. Now the Dr. was worried about her weight and suggested that I give her formula. I am not opposed to using formula with babies as I had to supplement with DS when he was an infant. Yet I am so upset and I refuse to give her formula. I do not know what to do. I started crying in her office and cried all the way home. I am worried (a little really, not too much) about DD's weight. I know that it's probably because she's sick, and she may have lost a few oz, and the Dr. even suggested that as well. We have to go back in 2 weeks to recheck her weight, and for vaccines, which is another issue for me. I do not want to vaccinate and I feel like she is pushing it on me. (that's another subject in itself)

But anyway, my issue is what do I do. I mostly do BLW and she doesn't eat a whole lot of solid food anyway. I just need some advice and I'm at a loss with what to do. Please help mamas...

ETA DD has been exclusively nursed, and not had any bottles etc. and I will continue and plan on nursing for as long as we both are comfortable.

[3girls1boy]

One of my 3 daughters had a period of a few months in toddler hood where she didn't gain at all and my Dr. suggested bringing her back in a few months for a weight check and sure enough she had gotten back on track. I think most babies settle in to their true percentage sometime in the second year. Dr. Jay Gordon article on the web called "Look at the Baby, not the Scale" is very reasurring.

(BTW my daughter is still petite, just barely 5 feet, but totally healthy, at age 14)

Jeanne
mom to 17, 14, 12 DDs and son, 8

[KatWrangler]

Maybe thats her natural growth curb. My DD1 is always below the 5th %. She will be 4 Feb 6th and barely weighs 26 pounds. She is tiny. But the new Ped wasn't too concerned.

I would go back in a couple of weeks for a re-check.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Just tell her no thanks when the subject of vax comes up and keep repeating it if needed.

[MissMommyNiceNice]

We didn't take DS to the doc at all his second year. I finally got him there when he was about 2.5. Between 18 mos & 2.5, he lost 9 lbs, but gained 9 inches! He used to be at the top, now he's lower on the scale. But my doc didnt' give me any guff. It's just the way he grows. This was the same baby who doubled his birth weight in 6 weeks to almost 17 lbs! He's going to be 3 in a week and isn't even 30 lbs yet.

I'm not worried. He's meeting all his milestones, and that's what's important. I wouldn't place too much weight in the recommendation. Plus, she may be looking at the ff chart, not the bf chart, which makes a huge difference. DS didn't really start eating solids A LOT until he was well over 2. I think it had to do with his teeth. He had a lot of pain while teething, and nursing was his comfort.

Good luck! Stick to your ground. If she keeps pushing vax's just say you're delaying until 2 and will make decisions about it then. I'm sure she's heard it more than once.

[Awaken]

sorry you're going through this!

My ds was 15# at 1 year old, and just didn't grow more than a few oz. at a time, no matter what we did, how many high calorie/fat foods we offered, etc. He was always below the 0 percentile, but was on his own curve below the chart. He was breastfed and we didn't give formula. He's almost 7 now and still below the 5th percentile and eats pretty well.

Some kids are just slow gainers and small people. It's hard when yours is so small, it can make you feel like it's your fault or you're doing something wrong! Esp. when so many kids these days are HUGE!! It took me until he was about 3 to let go of it and just accept that's how he is.

Re: vax's, just say no thanks, not today, we're just here for a weight check.

[womenswisdom]

You might want to check out the WHO's chart for breastfed babies. Breastfed babies gain at a slower rate than formula fed babies, who are the basis for the CDC charts most commonly used by peds. You might find that your DD's weight is at a much higher percentile when compared to other breastfed babies. Here is a link: http://www.who.int/childgrowth/stand.../en/index.html.

[hotharmony]

More than likely your LO won't take formula at this point, the stuff taste pretty gross compared to real milk.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by womenswisdom

You might want to check out the WHO's chart for breastfed babies. Breastfed babies gain at a slower rate than formula fed babies, who are the basis for the CDC charts most commonly used by peds. You might find that your DD's weight is at a much higher percentile when compared to other breastfed babies. Here is a link: http://www.who.int/childgrowth/stand.../en/index.html.

And if she is dropping off her curve, I'd work on nutrient dense foods and making sure that she's getting enough of your milk.

[sweetpeppers]

Originally Posted by 3girls1boy

. Dr. Jay Gordon article on the web called "Look at the Baby, not the Scale" is very reasurring.

Jeanne
mom to 17, 14, 12 DDs and son, 8

I second this article. It doesn't matter what your child weighs as long as she is healthy. Most kids your child's age are eating loads of junk food, cow's milk and or formula, there is just no comparison. My son was at the bottom of the charts before he really started chowing down on food, and now he's quite filled out.

[Materfamilias]

I second (third?) the advice to look at the child, not the scale and to check growth curves for breastfed kids. I think Kellymom has those too.

My ds was adopted and 13# at one year when we brought him home. The dr flipped out and subjected him to a lot of unnecessary tests which I, in my first time mom ignorance, went along with. Over time, I've come realize that ds is just always going to be small. Didn't matter what he ate -- and he was on formula, btw. Helped that we stopped using American growth charts, too.

[mambera]

Originally Posted by hotharmony

More than likely your LO won't take formula at this point, the stuff taste pretty gross compared to real milk.

My LO won't even take it anymore and she has been on the stuff since she was 1 month old due to supply issues. Shortly after starting solids she completely refused the formula (still loves mama milk though).

Why do you have to give formula anyway if your LO is a year? Why not calorie-dense solids or cow's milk?

[justmama]

If it helps, my 9 year old is just 48lbs. She was breastfed and she's unvaccinated. Her 2 year old sister who is also breastfed and unvaccinated is over 30lbs so. . . . . . . . . . .you gotta look at the kid. We keep telling her that the baby is going to outweigh her in a few months.

[nichole]

My first son was a string bean as a baby and still is. He is doing great! When he finally got interested in solids, he did gain a little weight. Try for foods that are whole and nutritious. Good fats are great like avocado, olive oil, coconut oil, and maybe yogurt if you do dairy. Smoothies have been a hit around here. I sneak all kinds of stuff into them We have been sick this week...i think that was mentioned. I am sure we all lost a couple of pounds.

[JamieCatheryn]

I always have DH come with us to Dr's appointments just in case we run into any bullying about anything. As a united front of both parents it is way easier to turn down any bad advice from one doctor.

[Ruthla]

Human beings of all ages tend to lose weight when they're sick and have no appetite. I might lose 4-5 lbs when I'm sick (to unhappily regain them when I feel better) while a toddler might lose a few ounces. That, by itself, is nothing to worry about. Weight loss when the child has been overall healthy is more of a concern (and even then, it often is part of a natural growth curve.)

[madeleines_mom]

Wow, she's recommending you start formula at 1 year of age? I've honestly NEVER heard of that before. Cow's milk, yes. Goat's milk, sure. But formula at a year? No. I think that your doctor is misinformed.

There is a plethora of things you can do to help your daughter gain weight. Increasing her intake of solids is first on that list. Include things into her diet that are high in fat such as full fat yogurts/cheese, avocados etc. Offer solids more often throughout the day. Full fat cows milk (I've seen as high as 3.8% organic homo milk here) should help too, if you're okay with introducing it. There is NO reason to stop breastfeeding and I'm glad your doctor sees it that way as well. There is no more fat in formula than there is in breastmilk. However adding more solids and some full fat milk into her diet could give her the calories she needs to get to her weight potential (to me, that is the weight she is with proper balanced nutrition).

Giving formula at this age would be silly for the following reasons:
-It's VERY expensive
-It has the same amount of fat calories as breastmilk and whole cow's milk
-Your daughter will probably hate it

Also, keep in mind (as I'm sure you are) that she's likely just a smaller kid. nothing wrong with that. Of course any drop on the weight charts is a cause for concern and it should be investigated to make sure that there is nothing wrong. If increasing her solids, offering higher fat foods, introducing cows milk and continuing breastfeeding are all being done, and her weight is still dropping off, then I would be concerned (and STILL formula would NOT be the answer). However don't be surprised if with all those measures her weight still is in the 5th percentile. If that's her weight potential, then going over it would be making her overweight and that's not what we want either.

[anj_rn]

One of our specialists told us we would need to switch to formuls because my DD is GAINING TOO MUCH weight. Seriously, I just ignore them. I was always below the 5th percentile in height & weight. My sis was always at 95% in weight. We both have healthy BMIs as adults.

[nerdymom]

true you should look at the child and the situation, give it 2 weeks and see what happens. If the doc again recommends formula, say "what about us trying whole milk, whole milk yoghurt, and avocado instead?" Also, think about you're LO's development. Has she recently started walking or crawling? I noticed DS slimmed down a bit when he began walking-er-running. Maybe she is burning more calories learning something new and has been feeling too ill to increase her caloric intake?

and on the vax issue, just say "no thank you" and "I've done my research and my mind is made up."

[Mommy2anangel]

Thanks so much for all the great advice. I think she suggested whole milk as well but gave me some cans of formula because she assumed that I wasn't ready to start whole milk? That is what I'm presuming. But I have started giving more fatty foods and yogurts etc.

Thank you all again. I know I can always count on my mdc mamas for great advice