GS leader discriminates against WOHM

[meandmine]

Ok, not as dramatic as it sounds, but ...

It is cookie sales time.

"Please pick up your child from the meeting at 4:30 and sign the cookie permission form. We cannot give girls their cookie sales sheets until their parent has signed the form."

Excuse me?!

So, I am supposed to take time off from work to sign a form?

You can't send the form home and have me return it, signed?

They did this last year ... I made arrangements twice to drive to someone's house on the weekend to sign the form and get the cookie sales sheet. Twice I was stood up. The third time ... she left the form on her porch with the cookie sales sheet.

Geesh!

I want to quit the darned troop (this isn't the only thing that p me off)! They are so thoughtless of folks who don't live their privileged lives.

M

[pixiepunk]

can you find another troop in your area? this kind of thing is really different from troop to troop. perhaps there is a more understanding/flexible troop near you?

our troop, for example, has several sahp's with multiple little ones and no childcare and siblings are always allowed - while in other troops this is strictly forbidden. we also have several wohp's and so some of the sahp's pick up other kids from school and take them to meetings and drop them home, and meet up with the wohp's when it's convenient for them to drop things off and get forms signed and such. and we try to do as many group activities as possible on the weekends so all families can participate.

it sounds to me like you just aren't in a troop that is accommodating, and there might be another nearby that is more-so.

[dawningmama]

My mother had this same issue with my GS troop 20+ years ago. Sometimes it's a big bummer that things haven't changed.

I'm sorry.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

From my understanding (I am a GS leader), cookie go day isn't until a month from now (maybe it differs by region?). Seriously, she could send it home with your DD, and you could mail it back with weeks to spare. Just tell her to send the thing home with your child. That's what I do with everyone. I have several girls that are picked up by people other than parents.

I am a pretty relaxed leader - I know all of them are different. The bottom line for me is safety and the girls' enjoyment - if those are not compromised, I'll figure out a way to make whatever concessions someone needs work.

[aelf]

Your daughter must have her permission slip turned in before she sells cookies, but there's no reason you can't wait to have her sell until you can get the permission slip in.

I'd be tempted to offer to brain storm with the troop leaders and cookie manager how to make sure this doesn't happen again. New troops tend to get their stuff right as it's happening, but established troops have lead-time. They should know reasonably well in advance they're going to need permission slips signed. If they're not passing this information on to the parents in a timely manner, there's probably a bottle neck that can be eliminated somewhere.

[BetsyNY]

"Cookie time" varies across the country.

Definitely tell the leader your situation. Who usually picks your daughter up?

[meandmine]

Thanks, Ladies!

I did try to brainstorm with them when this happened last year.

"We won't send the forms home to get signed because often people don't return them and then they have the sales sheet without the signed permission form."

I have been a leader of a different troop for 3 1/2 years ... we just don't operate the same way. My cookie moms follows up with a phone call if she doesn't have the permission form back. All very pleasant and positive.

It is the only troop for my older dd at our school, but I am seriously considering asking to go to a friend's troop that is only loosely connected to another ES because this is nonesense.

Oh, cookie sales start Dec. 18th here.

Thanks for your support!

M

[lifeguard]

As a leader I have seen all sorts of different styles. Some women are just more black & white than others & have a harder time being flexible.

Remember they are volunteers! And they put in many, many hours for it.

[meandmine]

lifeguard,

I do know. I have been a leader of a different (younger) troop for 3 1/2 years.

M

[MomToKandE]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm a GS leader and while I haven't taken the "Cookie Mom" training I know are very strict about not releasing the order forms until they have a permission slip. That said there's no reason she can't start later. In our council the date is earlier this year, they're allowed to start selling on Dec. 18th.

Do try to remember that they are all volunteers. My co-leader and I are both WOHM's. A few people complained that our meetings are too late (6:30-7:30) and our response is basically that if you'd like to lead you're welcome to have a meeting whenever you want but we can't be home from work to meet before that. Not saying it's OK for us or anyone else to have an attitude but unfortunately it's what happens. I have lots of parents with grand ideas about what our troop SHOULD do but very few are willing to actually take on the responsibility to organize any of their activities.

Our Cookie Mom is also a WOHM so things are worked around her schedule. The SAHM parents can not drop by mid-day when it's easier for them because she's at work.

That said if the troop isn't working for you your dd can always join one at another school. We have girls from 3 different schools in our troop. I'm the school GS coordinator and often refer girls to other schools if the meeting times at our school don't work for them.

[madskye]

Does the Cookie person email? Couldn't she just email you the form as an attachment and you could send it in with your daughter that day? Or is she inflexible to a solution?

It would make me roll my eyes but I doubt it's personal. Hope you can work it out without your DD having to bounce troops.

[MomToKandE]

Originally Posted by madskye

Does the Cookie person email? Couldn't she just email you the form as an attachment and you could send it in with your daughter that day? Or is she inflexible to a solution?

It would make me roll my eyes but I doubt it's personal. Hope you can work it out without your DD having to bounce troops.

No, the form (assuming it's the same as ours) is one of those 3-layer "official" type deals. Our cookie person would probably settle for that pending the real one but it would be bending the rules. They seem to drum "the rules" into them pretty hard in training.

[meandmine]

Thanks for everyone's perspective ...

I *am* a troop leader myself. I *do* know about the rules. I also know that we can be flexible and with my troop, we sent forms home to two families who weren't at pick-up (their girls were picked up by other families). If their forms don't come back to our cookie mom, she will call them and arrange for them to drop them off.

So, please bear in mind, I know about being a volunteer troop leader who works full-time. I know whereof I speak.

At least this year the cookie mom left the forms on her porch for me instead of standing me up two times like she did last year.

Thanks again, ladies.

M

[mama2mygirl]

Find another troup? Ours meets at five thirty until six thirty.