need to adjust bedtime

[texaspeach]

ds is 3 months old. He has been going to sleep for the night at 11pm, sometimes later. DH and I try to go to bed at 10:30 but often I am up later with ds. I'd like to get ds to bed by 8:30ish.

If I try to put him down then, he is up every 45 minutes and hard to settle. I think part of the problem is that I am not right next to him (we cosleep). When we go to bed at 11, he stays asleep and nurses every 3 hrs or so (I'm asleep and not watching the clock, it might be longer). If I nurse him to sleep and then get up he wakes up shortly after. If I wear him in the moby until he is asleep, he wakes up when I take him out even if he has the limp limb sign.

I've tried gradually moving back bedtime by 30 minutes every few days but it didn't work.

suggestions?

nak

[chi_mama]

ds1 was like this too. What worked best for us was to put him down in the room we were in. He' d sleep on the couch or in a bassinet from 9 till 11ish in the living room/kitchen with us moving around. If I tried to put him in the bed he'd wake up almost immediately.

[_betsy_]

What's worked for us is to put DD2 in the crib for the first part of the night, and for naps. She seems to know not expect me to be right there next to her and that helps.

Is the baby swaddled? DD1 needed to be swaddled well past the time all the books say is appropriate - she needed her arms pinned down at her sides with a blanket until about 15 months.

[mambera]

My 6mo dd is the same way. She sleeps just great when we bedshare (she dream feeds several times in the night but doesn't wake) but not otherwise.

She goes down for the night when I do (11 PM) and wakes up 10-20 min after I get up (usually 9-ish). I don't need 10 h of sleep (sometimes - like now - I stay up in bed with my laptop while dd sleeps) but there is no other way for dd to get enough sleep.

I cannot put her to sleep without nursing her down, and she wakes up if I ever try to move her, limp limbs notwithstanding. Therefore she cannot be put in the crib for nighttime or naps, ever.

No suggestions but I'm watching this thread.

[texaspeach]

I got the no cry sleep solution (it was suggested at LLL last month but I hadn't picked it up, I am surprised it truly is no cry and compatible with cosleeping!) from the library yesterday and read the first 4 chapters. I think part of the problem is he isn't getting enough daytime sleep. Like you mambera, I don't need 10 hrs of sleep plus naps and I don't want him to miss out on sleep because I can't *always* lay next to him.

he won't sleep in the swing, I think I must have the only baby who doesn't care about the swing. if he's in the family area he wants to be in the action too.

We don't swaddle, he started freaking out about it around 4 weeks old so we stopped.

oddly enough betsy, last night he slept in the crib (which we usually just use for naps, well those naps that aren't spent on me!) from 8:30-11, waking for a diaper change and to eat around 9:15. but instead of bringing him into the family room when he woke, I rocked him after he was done nursing and put him back in his bed asleep. it took a while but he did fall back to sleep and there was no crying last night. it usually isn't that simple when he's been in the family bed. I brought him to bed with us at 11 when he woke up. maybe it was just the association of the big bed = mom right there?

we'll see if this can be repeated! I fear it might have been a one time thing.